Hello, I have recently begun a wonderful relationship with a lady friend.\u00a0 Over the last four months or so we have developed a wonderful friendship which has recently blossomed into a budding romance.\u00a0 However, she has, within the last six months or so, filed for divorce from her husband due to abuse and a pornography addiction on the part of her husband.\u00a0 She tried to reconcile, seek help for her and her spouse and ultimately save her marriage but failed.\u00a0 Her divorce will be final sometime next month. With all that said, how should I view our relationship at the present time?\u00a0 Should we even be seeking a relationship so close to her divorce and especially since she is technically still married?\u00a0 How does the Bible stand on the issue of pornography and divorce?\u00a0 Are porn addiction and adultery the same in God’s eyes?\u00a0 And finally, is she permitted to divorce and then remarry given the circumstances of her failed marriage?\u00a0 Thanks for your help and advice.<\/p>\n\t
I’m surprised that you developed a relationship with a married woman. Yes, she had determined to leave her husband, but the hope of the waiting period is for the couple to work out their problems and come back together. Instead, you help encourage her to remain apart. Since actions speak louder than words, I am left to wonder how much effort she was putting into her marriage since she was seeing you on the side. However you look at it, your current relationship with this married woman was not proper.<\/p>\n
Pornography is a sin of passion and lust. It is clearly condemned in the Bible, I Thessalonians 4:3-5 is perhaps the clearest on this issue. However, it is not adultery or fornication. Abuse is also clearly condemned as a husband is to treat his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). So while these things are wrong and can cause a man’s wife to leave her husband until he straightens up, it is not a just cause to allow a woman to find a new husband. “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:10-11).<\/p>\n This woman finds her husband’s actions terrible enough to leave him. That is her choice, but balancing that choice is knowing she is doing so to remain single until such time as she can resolve her differences with her husband.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hello, I have recently begun a wonderful relationship with a lady friend.\u00a0 Over the last four months or so we have developed a wonderful friendship which has recently blossomed into a budding romance.\u00a0 However, she has, within the last six months or so, filed for divorce from her husband due to abuse and a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167,226],"class_list":["post-16840","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce","tag-pornography"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13326,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband-over-something-that-happened-twelve-years-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":16840,"position":0},"title":"Should I divorce my husband over something that happened twelve years ago?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 29, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Twelve and a half years ago my husband was nearly arrested for having sex with another man in a public bathroom. At that time I also discovered he has a serious pornography addiction.\u00a0 He attended counseling for about six months and when the therapist moved he discontinued therapy.\u00a0 I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9596,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-looking-at-pornography-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":16840,"position":1},"title":"Is looking at pornography fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When a man is involved in porn on the net, does that qualify as fornication? May a woman put her husband away when this happens? Answer: \"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28152,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-and-i-are-separated-over-his-use-of-pornography-what-can-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":16840,"position":2},"title":"My husband and I are separated over his use of pornography. What can I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 20, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I originally was a Baptist. I met my boyfriend at work as a friend. We started dating two years later. I moved into his house after dating him for two years on the pretense that we would get married. Once I moved in, I noticed pornography videos on his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27249,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-know-my-wife-committed-adultery-after-she-filed-for-divorce-do-i-have-the-right-to-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":16840,"position":3},"title":"I know my wife committed adultery after she filed for divorce. Do I have the right to remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 16, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a member of the church and have been for many years, (although my faith has been weak for the past few years, I have now come back to the Lord.\u00a0 Here is my situation and question: I have struggled with pornography for many years while married.\u00a0 My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18239,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-was-involved-in-porn-and-prostitution-but-i-repented-since-getting-caught-my-wife-still-wants-to-divorce-me-do-i-deserve-a-chance-to-show-ive-changed\/","url_meta":{"origin":16840,"position":4},"title":"I was involved in porn and prostitution, but I repented since getting caught. My wife still wants to divorce me. Do I deserve a chance to show I’ve changed?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been a Christian, a member of the church of Christ, since the age of 13. I also have been in the grasp of sexual addiction all that time. I married, almost a quarter-century ago, a beautiful Christian lady who deserved better. Through the years I have used\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26700,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-you-say-pornography-is-not-fornication-are-you-not-accepting-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":16840,"position":5},"title":"If you say pornography is not fornication, are you not accepting pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm sorry but I strongly disagree with \"Is looking at pornography fornication?\" Not that I would divorce my future husband if this was the case, but that I would totally support a lady who does because when you're married to a man, he is the only person who should\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16840","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16840"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16840\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16840"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16840"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16840"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}