Hello,<\/p>\n
I and my girlfriend tried foreplay a couple of times, but we have not had sex. She is not just my girlfriend, she is almost my wife. I will marry her next year; this will surely happen. Also, I didn’t have any sexual experiences before. I have gone through all the\u00a0chapters in your book<\/a>\u00a0and now I feel guilt over whether I attempted sin. However, she is my girl and I am going to marry her. Is it wrong?<\/p>\n I am a Christian. My girlfriend, whom I am about to marry, is a non-Christian, but we love each other truly. We are at the stage where we can’t live without each other. Anyhow, all humans were created by God so I think I didn’t preach God’s law. I want to know how I should plan my life after marriage.<\/p>\n\t “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow let’s go into this city, and spend a year there, trade, and make a profit.” Whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? For you are a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. For you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will both live, and do this or that.”But now you glory in your boasting. All such boasting is evil<\/em>” (James 4:13-16).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n For a moment, let’s pick another sin and make an argument similar to yours. Suppose someone stole your vehicle. Would you accept the argument, “I was only borrowing it. You weren’t around to ask, so I thought you won’t mind. I had every intention of returning it in three months. So, you shouldn’t call me a thief because I plan to return it to you.” Most people would not accept the excuse:<\/p>\n The point of the passage in James is that we think we have greater control over our lives than we really do. We make plans and intend to carry them out, but too much of life is out of our control. We might not even survive that long. But when we state that the future is in our control, we are actually boasting from our pride, which is a sin.<\/p>\n Similar questions have been asked in the past. See:\u00a0Is foreplay wrong if it doesn’t lead to sex?<\/a>\u00a0for more details on why foreplay is wrong before marriage. Though the question,\u00a0Did I commit a deadly sin by having sex with my girlfriend, even though I know I’m going to marry her?<\/a>, deals with sex before marriage, you should also look at it regarding the arguments made and why they are wrong. If waiting is too long for you, move the marriage date closer. It is better to marry sooner than you planned than to commit fornication. “But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:9).<\/p>\n I did not understand your last two sentences. If you would write again, I’ll try to answer your questions.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hello, I and my girlfriend tried foreplay a couple of times, but we have not had sex. She is not just my girlfriend, she is almost my wife. I will marry her next year; this will surely happen. Also, I didn’t have any sexual experiences before. I have gone through all the\u00a0chapters in your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1089,205,156,596,203],"class_list":["post-15684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-foreplay","tag-lewdness","tag-lust","tag-sensuality","tag-sexual-touching"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25165,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-restrain-myself-from-doing-foreplay-with-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":15684,"position":0},"title":"How can I restrain myself from doing foreplay with my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How can I restrain myself from doing foreplay with my girlfriend? Answer: \"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman\" (I Corinthians 7:1). The simple answer is to keep your hands off of her body. Rather\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22336,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-girlfriend-and-i-get-married-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":15684,"position":1},"title":"Can my girlfriend and I get married after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have some issues I want to share with you so you can pray with me and give me some advice. I was searching the web for some answers on some Christian web sites when I came across your answer to a question that I had, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25147,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/red-yellow-or-green-light\/","url_meta":{"origin":15684,"position":2},"title":"Red, yellow, or green light?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I love your site. I sent the link to my girlfriend. We are not romantically involved; we just only touch the upper part of our bodies, and we keep our clothes on. I asked the pastor where I go to church and he told me that it is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":15684,"position":3},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13761,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-commit-a-deadly-sin-by-having-sex-with-my-girlfriend-even-though-i-know-im-going-to-marry-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":15684,"position":4},"title":"Did I commit a deadly sin by having sex with my girlfriend, even though I know I’m going to marry her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 31, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please help.\u00a0 I am a Christian and I have been in a celibate relationship with the person I love for 3-1\/2 months now.\u00a0 We have told each other many times that we love each other and would do anything for each other many times.\u00a0 We have also said that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41543,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-urge-is-getting-really-strong-should-i-marry-my-girlfriend-because-of-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":15684,"position":5},"title":"The urge is getting really strong. Should I marry my girlfriend because of this?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hey, I'm a brother in the church, I'm 21 and I'm a virgin. I am struggling far as thoughts, urges, etc. It's getting harder each year to contain. Each year the urge gets stronger. I have a girlfriend, she is in the church. She is a great help to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15684"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15684\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Answer:<\/h2>\n
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