{"id":14988,"date":"2008-05-31T16:33:57","date_gmt":"2008-05-31T21:33:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=14988"},"modified":"2019-11-09T16:41:09","modified_gmt":"2019-11-09T22:41:09","slug":"my-pastor-says-god-told-her-that-i-shouldnt-marry-my-fiance-what-do-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-pastor-says-god-told-her-that-i-shouldnt-marry-my-fiance-what-do-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"My pastor says God told her that I shouldn&#8217;t marry my fiance. What do I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hi!<\/p>\n<p>I am 19 years old and I have been a Christian all my life. I am a Pentecostal. I have fallen in love with a man the same age as me and we both agree it&#8217;s better that we get engaged and seek the Lord in everything we do rather than falling into sin. I went to my pastor to ask her for her blessings and she refused. She said he is not for me and if I marry him she will not marry us. What should I do? I am so sad and I&#8217;m starting to lose faith in God. How can a pastor I have looked up to for so many years fail me and tell me I am wrong. I love this man and he loves me. We do pray together, we go to church together, and seek God together. My pastor also threatened to tell the church that I am not a virgin if I continue to marry this man even though I am a virgin and waiting for my wedding night. I am still young and I am seeking guidance. I feel like God has failed me because the pastor said God told her this to tell me.<\/p>\n<p>Please, can you help?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>The one major issue that you&#8217;ve left out of your note is why this woman thinks this man isn&#8217;t for you. Perhaps she didn&#8217;t say, but more likely what she said wasn&#8217;t what you wanted to hear, so you tuned it out. I&#8217;m not trying to be mean or to talk this woman&#8217;s side &#8212; quite the opposite, as you will see in a moment. But I do want you to be a bit more open as to the reasons people say and do things and not get stuck only on what they do.<\/p>\n<p>But I curious why you blame God for this situation. Upon what passage in God&#8217;s word are you saying that you are being prevented from becoming married? The only case I know where God says &#8220;no&#8221; to marriage is when one of you is already married (Romans 7:2-3), or one of you have was divorced and the cause of the divorce was not fornication (Matthew 19:9; I Corinthians 7:10-11). What you are doing is taking the words of a false teacher in a false religion and then blaming God when things don&#8217;t go your way.<\/p>\n<p>I know that sounds awful harsh. But Pentecostalism is not what the Bible teaches. See the articles under\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/tag\/pentecostalism\/\">Pentecostalism<\/a> for just a few starter issues. Nor does God allow for women preachers or pastors. I know that goes over like a lead balloon in this day of &#8220;women&#8217;s liberation,&#8221; but it is a simple fact. See the articles under <a href=\"https:\/\/lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/tag\/womens-roles\/\">Women&#8217;s Roles<\/a>\u00a0for a discussion of this issue. But the real key issue is the woman&#8217;s claim that God is telling her this. She is claiming to be a prophetess when God said prophecy has ceased. See the articles under\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/tag\/prophecy\/\">Prophecy<\/a> for what God said about this matter. Finally, you tell me that this woman is willing to lie to get her way. No, if that doesn&#8217;t tell you she is not from God, I don&#8217;t know what kind of club will get it through your head. &#8220;<em>Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep&#8217;s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 7:15-20). A key indicator of a false teacher is when they are not living lives in accordance with God&#8217;s word. All people make mistakes, and sin occasionally (I John 1:8), but you are not describing a slip but a deliberate manipulation &#8212; something is very wrong and it is with this woman.<\/p>\n<p>So, please stop blaming God because you are attending a false church lead by a false prophetess. Go find a true church, one that actually uses God&#8217;s Word as its guide. You and your fiance should make it a joint effort. It might take quite a bit of study on the part of both of you and you will likely learn from the Bible that many things that you just assumed were correct are not, but it will be worth the effort in the long run and the two of you are likely to grow closer together because of the search.<\/p>\n<p>If you would like a recommendation for someone to talk to in your area, please let me know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hi! I am 19 years old and I have been a Christian all my life. I am a Pentecostal. I have fallen in love with a man the same age as me and we both agree it&#8217;s better that we get engaged and seek the Lord in everything we do rather than falling into&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,478,64,429,169,81],"class_list":["post-14988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-false-teachers","tag-marriage","tag-pentecostalism","tag-prophecy","tag-women-preachers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32178,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-love-this-girl-but-my-pastor-says-she-will-be-unfaithful-to-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":14988,"position":0},"title":"I love this girl, but my pastor says she will be unfaithful to me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I need help. I am a young man who loves God. There is a woman I love. She is younger than I. She knows that I am in love with her and she with me. We both have this fear that since we love God we should not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44677,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-to-marry-my-brothers-widow\/","url_meta":{"origin":14988,"position":1},"title":"Do I have to marry my brother&#8217;s widow?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please help. My pastor told me that God spoke to her that I should marry my elder brother's widow with four children. I have a fiancee whom I dearly love but my pastor says she is being used by devil worshippers to capture me. My dad joined in devil\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21890,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-lied-to-my-pastor-about-sleeping-with-her-daughter\/","url_meta":{"origin":14988,"position":2},"title":"I lied to my pastor about sleeping with her daughter","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please, sir, there is something I want to discuss with you. I lied to my pastor and since that time I have been thinking about it. I am in a relationship with her daughter. We are planning to marry. I slept with the lady and the church members found\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43957,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-keep-repeating-my-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":14988,"position":3},"title":"I keep repeating my sexual sins","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am 27 years old. I am unworthy to say I am a Christian, but I have the knowledge of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I was baptized and have been going to church for more than 20 years. I am working and received many of God's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29577,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-pastor-says-the-girl-i-am-about-to-marry-will-fail-me-spiritually-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":14988,"position":4},"title":"My pastor says the girl I am about to marry will fail me spiritually. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I found a girl I want to marry. My pastor's wife has told the girl that I am her husband. Now he told me not to marry her because she will fail me spiritually. We are preparing for our marriage. I don't know what to do. She is born\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34076,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-to-break-off-my-engagement-because-we-committed-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":14988,"position":5},"title":"Do I have to break off my engagement because we committed fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I need advice, please. I had been living as a born-again Christian for over a year before I fell into sin and committed fornication. I met the guy a year after my baptism and we were engaged a few months later; we are both in our thirties. He\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14988"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14988\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}