I would like to know how I can deal with bitterness arising from raising my children alone when their fathers just don’t show any interest. I have two daughters, one from before my marriage, and one out of wedlock. I’m divorced now, but both my children’s fathers refuse to take any interest in them, both financially and emotionally.<\/p>\n
It’s very painful for me, as well as financially, it’s hard for me, to the point that I sometimes become so bitter, as I have to be a mom and dad when their dads are still alive.<\/p>\n
Please advise on what the Bible says is the best way to deal with this.<\/p>\n\t
You must realize that bitterness is an attitude that you chose to take toward life. Bitterness is not imposed on you. The things that have happened to you don’t make you bitter; you chose to be bitter about the things that have happened.<\/p>\n
Since it is something you chose to pick up, you can also choose to put it down. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice<\/em>” (Ephesians 4:31). Fill in the gap that it leaves with good things. “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you<\/em>” (Ephesians 4:32).<\/p>\n While you hold bitterness against your former sex partners, the sad fact remains that you chose to have sex with them in circumstances that God warned against. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>” (Hebrews 13:4). God told you it was wrong, but you decided to do it anyway. Now you know, the hard way, that there was a reason God said having sex outside of marriage is sinful. These men wanted sex without binding themselves in a commitment. It is not at all surprising, then, that they avoid taking responsibility for what they have done.<\/p>\n At least these two girls have a mother who loves them and who is willing to be their mother. You have given them more than the bums who donated the sperm. I hope that one day you will find a man who proves his love by marrying you first before jumping into bed with you. I hope he takes these two girls in as his own daughters. But until that happens, you must live with the consequences of your choices and try not to let those choices impact your daughters well being.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I would like to know how I can deal with bitterness arising from raising my children alone when their fathers just don’t show any interest. I have two daughters, one from before my marriage, and one out of wedlock. I’m divorced now, but both my children’s fathers refuse to take any interest in them,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[888,1572],"class_list":["post-14606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-bitterness","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":24341,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/overcoming-bitterness\/","url_meta":{"origin":14606,"position":0},"title":"Overcoming Bitterness","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 3, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"by Lawrence Kelley \"So Moses brought Israel from the Red Sea; then they went out into the Wilderness of Shur. And they went three days in the wilderness and found no water. Now when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":55554,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/mara-or-naomi\/","url_meta":{"origin":14606,"position":1},"title":"Mara or Naomi?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 6, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Ruth 1:19-21 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Life has its ups and downs. How do you respond? \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Do you rail at life and God? Do you decide life is a misery? \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Naomi had a hard life. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a01.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Famine caused her family to move to a foreign country - Ruth 1:1\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":70722,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-root-of-bitterness-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":14606,"position":2},"title":"The Root of Bitterness (Moyer)","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer \"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you\" (Ephesians 4:31-32). Bitterness is poison. It destroys the one eaten up with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/roots-200x300.avif","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":62524,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-gall-of-bitterness\/","url_meta":{"origin":14606,"position":3},"title":"The Gall of Bitterness","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 9, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Reading: Acts 8:14-24 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Hebrews 12:14-15 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Bitterness is \u201ccharacterized by animosity; harshly reproachful, caustic, disagreeable; to have a \u2018sour\u2019 disposition toward others over things that happened, whether real or imagined.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Few people want to be bitter, but many slide into it over the years. II.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Causes of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":89791,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-bitter-heart\/","url_meta":{"origin":14606,"position":4},"title":"The Bitter Heart","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 27, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Terry Wane Benton He said something they did not like, and they did not want to admit it was the truth; from then on, nothing he said was respected. They continued to backstab him, trying to undermine him by manipulating others. There was no room for loving him and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21951,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-root-of-bitterness\/","url_meta":{"origin":14606,"position":5},"title":"The Root of Bitterness (Bassford)","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Matthew W. Bassford Most of us have had an experience, invariably bad, with bitter people. Something has happened to them that they have continued to resent for years or decades, and they often take out their resentment on those who are closest to them. 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