{"id":14020,"date":"2005-10-24T21:16:14","date_gmt":"2005-10-25T02:16:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=14020"},"modified":"2019-10-25T10:14:55","modified_gmt":"2019-10-25T15:14:55","slug":"how-do-i-tell-my-son-about-puberty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-tell-my-son-about-puberty\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I tell my son about puberty?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>How do I tell my son about puberty?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>First, as your child grows, look for teachable moments. These are times when your child asks you questions that can be used to discuss important matters without making it seem like a major production. For example, your little boy might tell you &#8220;I&#8217;m glad my legs are smooth like yours, mommy. I won&#8217;t like them to be rough and hairy like dad&#8217;s.&#8221; You might respond that when their bodies start changing from a boy&#8217;s body into a man&#8217;s body that they probably will change their mind. They will likely feel proud of their bodies as each change makes them look more and more like a man. This might lead to further questions, or it might not, but you have introduced the subject of puberty to your son. He now knows there will be a time when his body will change. You also laid the foundation that it is something to which to look forward. Don&#8217;t think you need to tell everything in one session. It is probably too much to handle all at once, so find occasions to dole it out a piece at a time.<\/p>\n<p>The most difficult thing for a mother to handle is discussing with her son intimate details of sexual development and sexual urges. Teenagers already think their parents don&#8217;t understand them, and the difference in gender makes this even more difficult. If you do not have a husband to discuss these matters with your son, I would suggest getting a trustworthy book (one that you have read and agree with its approach) and leaving it where your son can find it when he is curious. If you can find a trusted male, such as your preacher or an elder, ask one of them to spend a few days discussing the details with your son; then, when the questions arise that are too embarrassing to ask a woman, he has a reliable person to ask.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, you might one day find your son involved in wrongful sexual behavior (playing &#8220;doctor,&#8221; looking at pornography or involved in heavy petting). Don&#8217;t panic, but don&#8217;t put the matter off. Get your information lined up as to why the behavior is wrong. (If you need help, there is material on this website.) Give your son a good talking to as to why it is wrong from a woman&#8217;s point of view. Then get a trusted man to give your son another talk as to why it is wrong from a man&#8217;s point of view. Learning the truth about the dangers of sin from multiple sources makes a major impact on most boys. Even when there are a mom and dad at home, I have been asked on several occasions to reinforce their objections with their sons. Almost always, the behavior stops when it is caught and dealt with early. (By the way, the talking to is supplemental to any punishment and not a replacement for punishment. &#8220;<em>The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 29:15).)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: How do I tell my son about puberty? Answer: First, as your child grows, look for teachable moments. These are times when your child asks you questions that can be used to discuss important matters without making it seem like a major production. For example, your little boy might tell you &#8220;I&#8217;m glad my&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1033,1028],"tags":[29,226,1043],"class_list":["post-14020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adolescence","category-parenting","tag-parenting","tag-pornography","tag-puberty"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":34749,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-son-recently-underwent-puberty-but-has-suddenly-stopped\/","url_meta":{"origin":14020,"position":0},"title":"My son recently underwent puberty but has suddenly stopped","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My son has recently undergone puberty but his growth has suddenly stopped. He has both facial and body acne, hair on his upper lip, and a consistent deep voice. He is of Asian descent. What stage do you think he is at, based on those few details? I'm too\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48724,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-do-i-start-talking-to-my-boys-about-nudity-puberty-growth-and-sexual-issues\/","url_meta":{"origin":14020,"position":1},"title":"When do I start talking to my boys about nudity, puberty, growth, and sexual issues?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 19, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I'm a father of three boys. First off, I'll let you know some information about me. When I was a boy and an adolescent, my father never told me things about puberty, sex, or girls. He talked a little but never told me what they were or what\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44327,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-parents-get-sad-when-their-children-hit-puberty\/","url_meta":{"origin":14020,"position":2},"title":"Do parents get sad when their children hit puberty?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 7, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Do parents get sad when their kids hit puberty? I've seen a lot of parents get sad when their little boy hits puberty. Answer: The early years of a child's life are rough on most parents. Caring for a baby takes a lot of time and energy. But soon\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13911,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-prepare-my-nine-year-old-daughter-for-puberty\/","url_meta":{"origin":14020,"position":3},"title":"How do I prepare my nine-year-old daughter for puberty?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a young 9-year-old girl and I'm trying to learn more about how to handle her upcoming puberty. It's going to be hard for her to learn how to handle her young sexual desires. I have no idea what it's like for girls. I'll have to lean on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14025,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-is-a-child-old-enough-to-explain-concepts-like-rape-that-appear-in-a-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":14020,"position":4},"title":"When is a child old enough to explain concepts like rape that appear in a story?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a 10-year-old son who is being homeschooled. He is in a Medieval, Reformation, and Renaissance unit and will be reading a version of The Canterbury Tales that has been translated into modern English by Barbara Cohen. In this book, specifically in \"The Wife of Bath's Tale\" there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14038,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-eight-year-old-is-having-erections-and-he-says-they-hurt\/","url_meta":{"origin":14020,"position":5},"title":"My eight-year-old is having erections and he says they hurt","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My son just turned 8 and is having erections. He tells me it hurts and burns. I told him to put a cold wet cloth on it so it will go down. My husband tells me it is normal, but he seems so young and it seems to hurt.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14020\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}