I am once again in need of advice from those of you that have been at this longer than I.\u00a0 I am having a problem with my 7-year-old son.\u00a0 He is completing his chores and his schoolwork, but I am troubled by his attitude.\u00a0 I feel like I have to push him through his day.\u00a0 Everything that I ask him to do is met with an “Aww man,”\u00a0 or something of that sort.\u00a0 He is not happy about any chores or schoolwork that is requested of him. I need any advice I can get on this.\u00a0 I am all out of ideas.\u00a0 I don’t want to raise a lazy child with a bad attitude.<\/p>\n\t
Though unintentional, we often get what we allow to exist. It doesn’t mean grumbling won’t exist, but like other problems, it needs to be met with an immediate consequence. Being forced to do chores is exactly what is being grumbled against. Doing those chores isn’t a consequence to the grumbling — something additional needs to be added. The ladies below have some excellent ideas.<\/p>\n\t
We\u2019ve been through that, too.\u00a0 (Actually, we go back there from time to time)<\/p>\n
We used a boot camp approach for awhile.\u00a0 Every, \u201caww man\u201d resulted in an immediate, \u201cDrop and give me ten push-ups.\u201d\u00a0 Once they stood back up, I\u2019d repeat the command for a proper \u201cYes ma\u2019am\u201d response.\u00a0 Sometimes I\u2019d also tell them that since they clearly needed practice in giving the respectful response, we\u2019d have to rehearse.\u00a0 I\u2019d send my son to sit back down and call him.\u00a0 He\u2019d hop up with a “yes ma\u2019am” and start toward whatever task was set before him.\u00a0 Then I\u2019d stop him, have him sit back down, and repeat the process 5 or 10 times.<\/p>\n
The immediate consequences tended to stick better than a drawn-out consequence.\u00a0 If I took away video games or cartoons or whatever, he wouldn\u2019t feel the loss until much later after the offense.<\/p>\n\t
I have a rule with my kids that they are not allowed to complain.\u00a0 Saying “aw, man” is complaining.\u00a0 If my children complain, they get an extra job or a spanking.\u00a0 We don’t usually have much complaining.\u00a0 I think this helps the kids get an early start at being less complaining as adults.\u00a0 Not to say that I never complain myself, but it is something we are all trying to keep at bay.\u00a0 You are right in explaining why we need to do these jobs, but eventually, it needs to be automatic that he not complain. Immediate correction every time is necessary in my opinion.<\/p>\n\t
Along this line of thinking, we do not allow our kids or others with us to say, \u201cWe\u2019re bored.\u201d\u00a0 This is a state you put yourself into.\u00a0 I am not responsible for entertaining you. \u00a0Those words spoken by a child in my earshot perks my ears and any child who hears it and sees that I\u2019ve heard it will immediately try to rectify the situation by convincing said child he didn\u2019t really mean to say that statement and will do all in their power to \u2018cover up\u2019 such a statement but, to no avail.\u00a0 I believe those words to mean ” I need a job to do.” (Roughly translated.)\u00a0 So that\u2019s what I provide;\u00a0 happily!\u00a0 I don\u2019t normally hear those words.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I am once again in need of advice from those of you that have been at this longer than I.\u00a0 I am having a problem with my 7-year-old son.\u00a0 He is completing his chores and his schoolwork, but I am troubled by his attitude.\u00a0 I feel like I have to push him through his…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1028,1032],"tags":[665,1039,29,107],"class_list":["post-13888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting","category-preteen","tag-child-rearing","tag-complaints","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13990,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-force-my-14-year-old-son-to-work-even-if-he-doesnt-feel-comfortable\/","url_meta":{"origin":13888,"position":0},"title":"Should I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Should I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn't feel comfortable? Answer: Oh, the poor thing! It is so hard to be motivated when you don't feel like working, isn't it? Why don't you set him a great example: when the alarm clock rings tomorrow morning,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":64249,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-deal-with-a-clingy-one-year-old\/","url_meta":{"origin":13888,"position":1},"title":"How do I deal with a clingy one-year-old?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 24, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning brother, I read your articles regarding the biblical way of teaching children. I have a one-year-old son and he always insists on being held. He is always crying. Not even a second was left me. He doesn't give me time to do work. Even if his stomach\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27942,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-four-year-old-hates-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":13888,"position":2},"title":"My four-year-old hates God","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning. I have a few questions I am needing guidance on. My mother passed away a year ago. Then close to her one year, my grandmother passed away. I have a 4-year-old son who is struggling hard. We are a church family but now he does not want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13971,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-are-constantly-having-to-nag-our-daughter-to-get-her-chores-done\/","url_meta":{"origin":13888,"position":3},"title":"We are constantly having to nag our daughter to get her chores done","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a nine-year-old who is developing an attitude that we are always nagging and she can't do what she wants. Every time I ask her to do a chore she says yes, I go away, come back later and it won't be done. This can happen three or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15090,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/questions-about-spanking-privacy-and-clothing-choices\/","url_meta":{"origin":13888,"position":4},"title":"Questions about spanking, privacy, and clothing choices.","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 15, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have three boys who are actually not my stepsons yet.\u00a0 Their mother, who is widowed, and I are going to be married in about two weeks. We are maintaining a biblical relationship. However, I am a teacher, so I am free to handle childcare over the summer, where\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19497,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fifteen-year-old-is-staying-out-to-all-hours-of-the-night-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":13888,"position":5},"title":"My fifteen-year-old is staying out to all hours of the night. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: The reason I type this question is that I have a 15-year-old son. He has been acting up over the last 2 to 3 months. He has always been a well-behaved lad. 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