I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but\u00a0he didn’t. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I\u00a0took him to his room, but he\u00a0yelled, so I decided to spank him. Did I do the right thing?<\/p>\n\t
There are several issues that I would like you to consider. When your son first pushed you and said bad words, you stated you had asked for an apology and did not receive one. First, a four-year-old child is a bit young to be asking for an apology. Four-year-olds view the world in a more black and white way. Either something is right or it is wrong. Nor is a four-year-old equipped to make moral decisions. It is up to you as the parent to inform your child what behavior is or is not acceptable. Second, when you did not get the apology, you did not follow through with any consequence. You taught him that he can defy authority and sometimes win. Third, where is your son learning bad words and attempting to get his way by pushing? Four-year-olds are still at the age were they mimic those around them. If he is seeing others take similar actions and getting what they want, it is little wonder that he is applying this same “solution” at home. You need to figure out where it is coming from and halt the influence it has over your child.<\/p>\n
In other words, spanking is not the issue here. You need to address the issues that have led up to your needing to use spanking to regain some measure of control over your child’s behavior.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but\u00a0he didn’t. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I\u00a0took him to his room, but he\u00a0yelled, so I decided to spank him. Did…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1031,1028],"tags":[665,106,29,669,108],"class_list":["post-13852","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-childhood","category-parenting","tag-child-rearing","tag-discipline","tag-parenting","tag-punishment","tag-spanking"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13931,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fifteen-year-old-has-become-violent-and-domineering\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":0},"title":"My fifteen-year-old has become violent and domineering","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My oldest boy is 15 years old. Recently he has become violent and domineering. All the conversations that we have had with him haven't helped much. He continues to pretend that now he is 15 years old he has the right to be free and to behave as he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6886,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-give-my-seven-year-old-a-spanking-for-getting-an-f-on-his-report-card\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":1},"title":"Should I give my seven-year-old a spanking for getting an F on his report card?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 16, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Yesterday my seven-year-old son came home from school with an F, on his report card. I told him the last time if he gets another F, I was going to get a spanking. Is that the right thing to do? Answer: When I received this note (what you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24614,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-does-a-parent-prepare-himself-for-the-need-to-punish\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":2},"title":"How does a parent prepare himself for the need to punish?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 23, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have read many of the answers you have given about spanking and while I disagree or am uncomfortable with using anything other than a hand for it, I have seen the positive effects of spanking being part of several punishment options for parents with my friends and their\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6973,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-this-spanking-normal\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":3},"title":"Is this spanking normal?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 26, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This afternoon I was at my girlfriend's house, and she has a 7-year-old son. He was not putting his toys away after he was done playing with them. My friend Gina asked him to please put his toys away, and he said \"no\" and back talked her. She grabbed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2868,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-spanking-a-thirteen-year-old-child-illegal\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":4},"title":"Is spanking a thirteen-year-old child illegal?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 22, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is spanking a thirteen-year-old child illegal? Answer: As of this writing, spanking remains legal in all fifty states of the United States. Almost all state statutes state that a parent or guardian can use reasonable and appropriate force to maintain discipline and to promote the well-being of a child's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17574,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-think-spanking-leads-to-more-aggression\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":5},"title":"I think spanking leads to more aggression","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 23, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I think spanking a 14-year-old young man is unreasonable and will lead to more aggression.\u00a0 My parents spanked me with the belt and left bruises.\u00a0 It left scars on my soul and was not focused on loving correction. 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