I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but\u00a0he didn’t. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I\u00a0took him to his room, but he\u00a0yelled, so I decided to spank him. Did I do the right thing?<\/p>\n\t
There are several issues that I would like you to consider. When your son first pushed you and said bad words, you stated you had asked for an apology and did not receive one. First, a four-year-old child is a bit young to be asking for an apology. Four-year-olds view the world in a more black and white way. Either something is right or it is wrong. Nor is a four-year-old equipped to make moral decisions. It is up to you as the parent to inform your child what behavior is or is not acceptable. Second, when you did not get the apology, you did not follow through with any consequence. You taught him that he can defy authority and sometimes win. Third, where is your son learning bad words and attempting to get his way by pushing? Four-year-olds are still at the age were they mimic those around them. If he is seeing others take similar actions and getting what they want, it is little wonder that he is applying this same “solution” at home. You need to figure out where it is coming from and halt the influence it has over your child.<\/p>\n
In other words, spanking is not the issue here. You need to address the issues that have led up to your needing to use spanking to regain some measure of control over your child’s behavior.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but\u00a0he didn’t. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I\u00a0took him to his room, but he\u00a0yelled, so I decided to spank him. Did…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1031,1028],"tags":[665,106,29,669,108],"class_list":["post-13852","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-childhood","category-parenting","tag-child-rearing","tag-discipline","tag-parenting","tag-punishment","tag-spanking"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13931,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fifteen-year-old-has-become-violent-and-domineering\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":0},"title":"My fifteen-year-old has become violent and domineering","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My oldest boy is 15 years old. Recently he has become violent and domineering. All the conversations that we have had with him haven't helped much. He continues to pretend that now he is 15 years old he has the right to be free and to behave as he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6973,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-this-spanking-normal\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":1},"title":"Is this spanking normal?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 26, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This afternoon I was at my girlfriend's house, and she has a 7-year-old son. He was not putting his toys away after he was done playing with them. My friend Gina asked him to please put his toys away, and he said \"no\" and back talked her. She grabbed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6886,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-give-my-seven-year-old-a-spanking-for-getting-an-f-on-his-report-card\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":2},"title":"Should I give my seven-year-old a spanking for getting an F on his report card?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 16, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Yesterday my seven-year-old son came home from school with an F, on his report card. I told him the last time if he gets another F, I was going to get a spanking. Is that the right thing to do? Answer: When I received this note (what you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2095,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-spanking-hurt-a-childs-feelings\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":3},"title":"Can spanking hurt a child’s feelings?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 21, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My son was very rude and would not explain his behavior. I must mention that it has been over a month since the last time that I spanked him. At that time I gave him a spanking in front of everyone. It was very effective, so I used the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1880,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-a-childs-pants-be-taken-down-for-a-spanking\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":4},"title":"Should a child’s pants be taken down for a spanking?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 2, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to ask, please, if it's good to take down the pants of a seven-year-old child for a spanking. Answer: When disciplining a child, spanking is not the only option available to a parent. Often, when parenting is done well, spankings will only be needed infrequently. Raising a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17574,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-think-spanking-leads-to-more-aggression\/","url_meta":{"origin":13852,"position":5},"title":"I think spanking leads to more aggression","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 23, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I think spanking a 14-year-old young man is unreasonable and will lead to more aggression.\u00a0 My parents spanked me with the belt and left bruises.\u00a0 It left scars on my soul and was not focused on loving correction. I am very conservative in my theology and think this Scripture\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13852","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13852"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13852\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13852"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13852"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13852"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}