Your site gives plenty of very helpful advice to parents about how to administer a spanking. We have three boys. We have spanked them before but not as consistently as we should have. Because of their recent behavior we have determined to start spanking consistently and with no excuses. We are going to discuss the matter with the children and our question is what advice should we give the children as to the way in which they should receive the spanking. We would be truly grateful for any advice you can give.<\/p>\n\t
“Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it<\/em>” (Hebrews 12:11).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Like so many who have written, you are focused on the technique of the punishment and ignoring the goal, which is to train children to behave. Of course, a child is not going to like being punished, where it is done by a spanking or being grounded. Therefore, it is of no use trying to convince a child that the punishment should be received in a certain manner.<\/p>\n
You should be talking to your children, but not about the punishment. What is needed is instruction. “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother<\/em>” (Proverbs 29:15). You need to discuss what the child did wrong, why it was wrong, and what he should have done instead. By showing reasoned rebuke yourself, you prevent yourself from lashing out simply because you were angry or had a bad day. It is the rebuke that is critical. The punishment is simply a deterrent. “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool<\/em>” (Proverbs 17:10).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Your site gives plenty of very helpful advice to parents about how to administer a spanking. We have three boys. We have spanked them before but not as consistently as we should have. Because of their recent behavior we have determined to start spanking consistently and with no excuses. We are going to discuss…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[29,107,108],"class_list":["post-11693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children","tag-spanking"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-spank-my-stepsons\/","url_meta":{"origin":11693,"position":0},"title":"Should I spank my stepsons?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 25, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have just married a wonderful woman with two teenage boys who are out of control. They have not been spanked in years and I think it is time to re-institute that form of discipline into their life; at least until their behavior improves. My wife agrees to abide\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33128,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-compliment-you-on-your-answers-on-spanking\/","url_meta":{"origin":11693,"position":1},"title":"I want to compliment you on your answers on spanking","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Sir, I wanted to compliment you on your answers on spanking. I am not a believer in any faith, but I have my own feeling about morality and social beliefs. I keep hearing about \"all these religious people who beat their kids.\" Well, I was spanked as a boy,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17106,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/one-of-my-boys-is-starting-to-wet-his-pants-when-i-give-him-a-spanking-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":11693,"position":2},"title":"One of my boys is starting to wet his pants when I give him a spanking. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a problem with one of my boys. A few times he has had a wet spot when being spanked. At first, I was shocked and thought I was overdoing the spanking and from the pain of the spanking that he had lost control, but it was not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3757,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-series-of-questions-about-spanking\/","url_meta":{"origin":11693,"position":3},"title":"A series of questions about spanking","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: At what age does a father stop spanking his boy? I mean do you spank until he's 21 if he's still living with you? Do you spank a 13-year-old boy any differently from a 5-year-old boy? Clothed behind versus bare behind How often does one spank the boy? If\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13965,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-bare-bottom-spankings-necessary\/","url_meta":{"origin":11693,"position":4},"title":"Are bare-bottom spankings necessary?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I'm a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I've been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. 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