{"id":8454,"date":"2006-08-27T19:50:32","date_gmt":"2006-08-28T00:50:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?page_id=8454"},"modified":"2019-08-30T15:02:20","modified_gmt":"2019-08-30T20:02:20","slug":"family-and-friends","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/preparation-for-a-lifetime\/family-and-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Family and Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h1>Family and Friends<\/h1>\n<p>The early days of a marriage are full of adjustments. However, it is not just the newlyweds who must adapt to the new situation. Your parents, siblings, and friends have spent many years thinking of you as a single person. It takes some time to realize you have commitments to someone else.<\/p>\n<p>Your friends are use to being able to call you up at the spur-of-the-moment to meet somewhere for a meal or a game. It is awkward, and perhaps silly to them, that you need to check with your spouse to if it is all right to be away. To you it is simple courtesy, but to your single friends it is being tied down. You want to bring your spouse along to enjoy the time together, but your old friends only want you. Often the differences in outlook becomes so vast that you lose many of your old friends. You move in a new circle now and often that requires making new friends who see you as a couple instead of two independent people.<\/p>\n<p>Your family has an even greater problem. Your parents have spent many years thinking of you as their child. Your siblings still see you as their old playmate. Not only have you moved on to be a mature adult, but you have someone who is a stranger to them along with you. Old habits are hard to break. Your parents are going to slip at times and speak to you as if you were still ten-years-old because in their mind you were ten just yesterday.<\/p>\n<p>This is why God said in Genesis 2:24 that a husband (or wife) must\u00a0<i>leave<\/i>\u00a0his father and mother. I strongly recommend that newlyweds move out of their parent\u2019s home and establish their own home. Preferably, there should be some distance between the families, so Mom and Dad can\u2019t just drop in without letting you know in advance and so that you are not tempted to run home each time a problem comes up. After you and your folks have gotten used to the fact that you are married, then you can make plans to live near each other if that is what you desire. (This usually becomes desirable when you start having children.) Moving to another town also helps you to establish new friends who only know you as a couple. The adjustment is hard at first, but it pays off in the long term.<\/p>\n<p>While the advice is sound, it will not always be practical. Moving to a new town means locating new jobs, which isn\u2019t always possible. Newlyweds are notorious for being short of funds and some young couples cannot afford to get their own place immediately. Regardless of your particular circumstances, you still need to separate your new family from your old one. Distance makes it easier to do, but it can be done even while you live under the same roof. Understand that the adjustments will take time. Don\u2019t get angry when people slip back into old habits. Just be prepared to give gentle reminders. Since the husband is the head of the family, this responsibility will generally fall on his shoulders. It is his duty to protect the sanctity of his family.<\/p>\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/preparation-for-a-lifetime\/finances\/\" target=\"_self\" role=\"button\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tPrior Lesson\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/preparation-for-a-lifetime\/\" target=\"_self\" role=\"button\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tPreparation for a Lifetime\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/preparation-for-a-lifetime\/when-the-excitement-dies\/\" target=\"_self\" role=\"button\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNext Lesson\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Family and Friends The early days of a marriage are full of adjustments. However, it is not just the newlyweds who must adapt to the new situation. Your parents, siblings, and friends have spent many years thinking of you as a single person. It takes some time to realize you have commitments to someone else.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":8138,"menu_order":17,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-8454","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8535,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/preparation-for-a-lifetime\/getting-to-know-each-other\/","url_meta":{"origin":8454,"position":0},"title":"Getting to Know Each Other","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 28, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Getting to Know Each Other You may have spent years looking for just the right person, or you might have discovered someone you believe you want to marry just last week. Regardless of the time involved, you really don't know the other person; at least, not as well as you\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15404,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/moral-principles-for-young-people\/going-with-the-flow\/","url_meta":{"origin":8454,"position":1},"title":"Going With the Flow","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 14, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Going With the Flow by Jeffrey W. Hamilton We would like to think of ourselves as independent thinkers. We chose what we want to do and where we want to go. But an odd thing happens along the way. While the decisions may be different from our parents, the decisions\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/flow.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5870,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/matthew-mark-luke-and-john-old-testament-or-new-testament\/jesus-teachings-as-prophecy\/","url_meta":{"origin":8454,"position":2},"title":"Jesus\u2019 Teachings as \u201cProphecy\u201d","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 16, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Chapter 3 Jesus\u2019 Teachings as \u201cProphecy\u201d Time and time again when we point out that there are obvious teachings of Jesus that were not Old Testament elaboration but were clearly intended for us today, those who want to contend that MML&J are Old Testament books will counter that this was\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":65427,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/proverbs-practical-advice-on-life\/good-attitudes\/","url_meta":{"origin":8454,"position":3},"title":"Good Attitudes","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 5, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Good Attitudes Text: Proverbs 18:20-19:29 Speak Properly (Proverbs 18:20-21) The result of speaking well is a satisfying life. Similar proverbs are Proverbs 12:14; 13:2; 15:23. Words are more powerful than we may realize (James 3). What we say can kill a person spiritually or bring a person back to life.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6647,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/job\/jobs-response-and-bildads-rebuttal\/","url_meta":{"origin":8454,"position":4},"title":"Job&#8217;s Response and Bildad&#8217;s Rebuttal","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Class 5, Chapters 16-19 Chapter 16 Job 16:2\u2014I\u2019ve heard this stuff before, a lot of it. Way to go, guys, doing a great job of comforting here. 16:3\u2014Job tires of his friends\u2019 insistence on speaking 16:4\u2014If the tables were turned I could be just like you. 16:5\u2014I could also do\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":65756,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/searching-for-my-friend\/with-friends-like-these\/","url_meta":{"origin":8454,"position":5},"title":"With &#8220;Friends&#8221; Like These &#8230;","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 12, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"With \"Friends\" Like These ... by Jeffrey W. Hamilton One of the sadder things I keep hearing is about the people you choose to be around. I know why you choose them: they don't remind you that you are destroying yourself with drugs because they are in the process of\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8454"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8454\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}