{"id":4577,"date":"2019-05-22T18:49:10","date_gmt":"2019-05-22T23:49:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?page_id=4577"},"modified":"2020-03-16T11:38:14","modified_gmt":"2020-03-16T16:38:14","slug":"the-art-of-repairing-a-broken-relationship","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/the-greatest-love-song-written-a-study-of-the-song-of-solomon\/the-art-of-repairing-a-broken-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Repairing a Broken Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t

Chapter 11<\/h2>\n

The Art of Repairing a Broken Relationship<\/h1>\n

We can see Shulammith almost cringing as she approaches Solomon with her head hanging down. The noblewomen are standing nearby, but not close enough to hear what she and Solomon need to say privately. Before she can open her mouth, Solomon greets her.<\/p>\n

4<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As lovely as Jerusalem,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As awesome as an army with banners.\n5<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cTurn your eyes away from me,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0For they have confused me;
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Your hair is like a flock of goats
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0That have descended from Gilead.\n6<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYour teeth are like a flock of ewes
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Which have come up from\u00a0their<\/i>\u00a0washing,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0All of which bear twins,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And not one among them has lost her young.\n7<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYour temples are like a slice of a pomegranate
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Behind your veil.\n8<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cThere are sixty queens and eighty concubines,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And maidens without number;\n9<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But<\/i>\u00a0my dove, my perfect one, is unique:
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0She is her mother\u2019s only\u00a0daughter;<\/i>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0She is the pure\u00a0child<\/i>\u00a0of the one who bore her.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The maidens saw her and called her blessed,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The queens and the concubines\u00a0also,<\/i>\u00a0and they praised her,\u00a0saying,<\/i>\n10<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Who is this that grows like the dawn,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As beautiful as the full moon,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As pure as the sun,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As awesome as an army with banners?\u2019<\/blockquote>\n

What an unexpected and beautiful greeting! There is not one word about the insult she gave him. There is no mention of the tension between them. All that Solomon talks about is how much he loves her.<\/p>\n

Solomon shows the type of love all husbands should have for their wives. Paul told men to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). The Greek word translated as love<\/i>\u00a0is the word\u00a0agape<\/i>. It is a love of devotion \u2013 a love that continues to give even if it is not returned. This is the love that Christ had for us. He loved us so much that even when we were sinners \u2013 enemies of God \u2013 Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). The physical make-up of a man allows him to give love even when he does fully feel like it. Men\u2019s hormones are stable for most of their life. They tend to see the world in a consistent manner. This makes it possible for a man to make the first move to repair a broken relationship.<\/p>\n

Too often a man wants to solve the problem, figuring the relationship with his wife will follow along after it. What Solomon shows is that it doesn\u2019t matter what is the problem. Once the relationship is repaired, any problem can be addressed and overcome. But if two people are unwilling to get along with each other, then no amount of problem-solving will help because there will always be another problem waiting to drive a deeper wedge between them.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Army with Banners<\/p><\/div>\n

Solomon begins by comparing his wife\u2019s beauty to the cities of Tirzah and Jerusalem. These were the two leading cities of Israel in the glory days of Solomon\u2019s reign. Jerusalem was the capital of Solomon\u2019s kingdom in the south and Tirzah was a mighty city in the north. When Solomon\u2019s kingdom was split after his death, Tirzah became the capital of the northern kingdom for many generations.<\/p>\n

He also found her beauty to be as awe-inspiring as a great army in full military dress with colorful banners flying above them.<\/p>\n

He asks that she not look directly at him because her eyes arouse him, keeping him from making connected thoughts. She is still desirable to him. He is still a giddy schoolboy in her presence.<\/p>\n

Solomon then begins to enumerate the specific features of his wife that he finds especially attractive. Many of these qualities are the same as the ones he praised on their wedding night. It demonstrates that his love has not changed in the years that have followed. Her hair is still dark, flowing, and bouncy like a flock of goats coming down off a mountain. Her teeth are still white, even, and matched with none missing. Her complexion is still as rosy as the flesh of pomegranate fruit. But here he stops. He doesn\u2019t move on to more erotic descriptions because he doesn\u2019t want to leave the impression that the only reason he wants this relationship repaired is so he can get in bed with her.<\/p>\n

It is a delicate balancing act. He lets her know she is still his desire, but he doesn\u2019t push it to leave her thinking that is the only thing on his mind.<\/p>\n

Even though Solomon now has sixty wives, eighty concubines, and many maidens desiring him, he finds Shulammith unique. She is the only one that he wants. There is no one else like her. Her mother only had one daughter and she didn\u2019t need another daughter for her first and only daughter was the best that there could be.<\/p>\n

Though you might think Solomon is biased, he points out that even the women who would be inclined to not like Shulammith \u2013 the other wives, concubines, and maidens \u2013 have only praise for her. She is beautiful in form, pure in character, and awe-inspiring in presence.<\/p>\n

This speech has left Shulammith shaking her head in wonder.<\/p>\n

11<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI went down to the orchard of nut trees
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0To see the blossoms of the valley,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0To see whether the vine had budded
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Or<\/i>\u00a0the pomegranates had bloomed.\n12<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cBefore I was aware, my soul set me
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Over<\/i>\u00a0the chariots of my noble people.\u201d<\/blockquote>\n

She originally came down to the garden to see if there were any blossoms left on her vineyard of love. Remember the concern in Song of Solomon 2:15 that the small problems would knock the delicate buds of love off before they had a chance to form? Now she was faced with a seemingly large problem that could have destroyed all the fully formed blossoms. But not only did she find the love intact, but before she realized what was happening her husband, her soul, had greatly honored her before everyone (Ephesians 5:28-29; I Peter 3:7).<\/p>\n

She begins to move off \u2013 perhaps to contemplate the change in her position and in her heart. However, the women who came along with her are not ready for her to leave just yet.<\/p>\n

13<\/sup>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cCome back, come back, O Shulammite;
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Come back, come back, that we may gaze at you!\u201d<\/blockquote>\n

Most likely they want to know what happened. Did he accept her apology? Are they back together again? What did he say?<\/p>\n

13<\/sup> \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Why should you gaze at the Shulammite,
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As at the dance of the two companies?<\/blockquote>\n

We are not absolutely certain who replied to the ladies. Shulammith could be referring to herself in the third person or Solomon could be the speaker. It doesn\u2019t matter for the message is the same. The women want to know what happened, yet the evidence is plainly before them. What more can they expect of Shulammith? Should she perform a festive dance like they have when two large groups camp near each other? She and Solomon are back together again and that is all that matters.<\/p>\n

Questions:<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. What did Solomon not do when Shulammith approached him?<\/li>\n
  2. Is there something about men that allow them to act as Solomon did?<\/li>\n
  3. Why were the complements Solomon gave important?<\/li>\n
  4. Why did Solomon wait for her to come to him? Yet, when she did come why did he not wait for an apology before speaking?<\/li>\n
  5. Why was it important at this time to express desire, but not too strongly?<\/li>\n
  6. What does Solomon find attractive about his wife?<\/li>\n
  7. Why was Shulammith dumbfounded by Solomon\u2019s reception of her?<\/li>\n
  8. What caused their relationship to be strengthened?<\/li>\n
  9. Why are the women curious about the outcome? Why is there no mention of Solomon\u2019s male companions?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tPrior Lesson\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe Greatest Love Song Written\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNext Lesson\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Chapter 11 The Art of Repairing a Broken Relationship We can see Shulammith almost cringing as she approaches Solomon with her head hanging down. The noblewomen are standing nearby, but not close enough to hear what she and Solomon need to say privately. Before she can open her mouth, Solomon greets her. 4\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou are as…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":4463,"menu_order":10,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-4577","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4463,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/the-greatest-love-song-written-a-study-of-the-song-of-solomon\/","url_meta":{"origin":4577,"position":0},"title":"The Greatest Love Song Written: A Study of the Song of Solomon","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 21, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"The Greatest Love Song Written A Study of the Song of Solomon by Jeffrey W. 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These paintings are brushed with the dialog of the characters instead of pigments. Our opening scene is the arrival of a young woman. 2\"May\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/vineyard.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4574,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/the-greatest-love-song-written-a-study-of-the-song-of-solomon\/all-is-not-happily-ever-after\/","url_meta":{"origin":4577,"position":3},"title":"All is Not Happily Ever After","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Chapter 10 All Is Not Happily Ever After I suppose the story could stop right here and we could float away on the clouds from the beauty of this marriage, but then the picture would be incomplete. Every marriage faces problems. 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Was\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/song3-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4571,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/the-greatest-love-song-written-a-study-of-the-song-of-solomon\/their-first-night-together\/","url_meta":{"origin":4577,"position":5},"title":"Their First Night Together","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Chapter 9 Their First Night Together Now comes the time for which our heroine has long desired. Now is the time that they can share their love in a more physical way. The scene opens with Solomon speaking. 4\u00a01\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cHow beautiful you are, my darling, \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0How beautiful you are! \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Your eyes\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/whitedoves.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4577"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4577\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4463"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}