How can I help an abused girl who has been thrown out of her home?

Question: I’m a college student who’s a leader in my church’s high school ministry. One girl recently revealed to me, while on a mission’s trip, that she was abused by her parents, culminating in her being thrown out of the house at the age of 16. We talked and I assured her that God and…

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How can I help my rebellious 15-year-old brother?

Question: Hi, I’m a 20-year-old girl with a 15-year-old younger brother who is going down the wrong path. He drinks, smokes, curses, hangs out with his friends most of the time and doesn’t take his schoolwork seriously. He’s repeating 9th grade because he failed two classes last year, but he’s still slacking off and getting…

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The Children of One’s Youth

by Bryan Matthew Dockens The name Jamie Lynn Spears was unknown to me until the sixteen-year-old actress and younger sister of Britney Spears recently announced that she is expecting a child. This news has predictably brought increased attention to the issue of teen pregnancy. Allow me to submit for your consideration, however, that the problem,…

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My sixteen-year-old is becoming violent and I don’t know what to do

Question: I have a sixteen-year-old son that has had trouble in school specifically with grades over the past couple of years. His mother and I were divorced when he was nine but still communicate on a regular basis. Lately, he has become more physical while with her. He has been punching and kicking things for…

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How do I honor my mother when we aren’t getting along?

Question: I had some questions and decided to email you again, as your answers and reasoning made sense. Okay, I have heard that you have to love your parents, but do you have to like them? I love mine (my mom and grandparents), but my mom is sometimes hard to get along with. Maybe it…

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Should I go out for college basketball?

Question: I played junior college basketball. I got sidetracked and started looking at other things that were selfish and were all about me. I stopped taking basketball seriously and basically quit going in my sophomore year. Recently year a kid that played behind me in high school walked on at the university and now is…

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Thank you for the information on teenage boys’ mood swings

Question: I Googled “testosterone anger teenager boy” and your site was one of several I found. I liked yours the best 🙂 I’m trying to help my twelve-year-old understand why he sometimes feels angry without a specific reason. Being a woman, I can’t relate to what he’s going through, but I had a feeling it was…

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Can you make some recommendations for a computer for a 14-year-old?

Question: I am hoping someone can help me sort through a lot of questions I have. First, my 14-year old son would really love to have a computer in his own room for Christmas.  We are in need of a new computer anyway and since this is something he has wanted for several years, we…

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Is it wrong to enter into a relationship at the age of 19?

Question: I want to know if it is wrong for a Christian girl to enter into a relationship at 19 years of age without having sex. Answer: Much depends on your definition of “relationship” and “sex.” These days these words are so loosely defined that just about anything goes. If you talking about dating a…

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Any suggestions for material to teach young people?

Question: I read your article on whether boys and girls swimming together was ok or not. I saw it referenced in one of your last posts. I have been explaining a little bit about watching TV shows and listening to certain music or I should say lyrics to songs how it numbs our feelings and we…

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Can a seventeen-year-old conduct worship?

Question: My father is a pastor. Since we have two branch churches, my father will come to the main church only for giving a message after finishing the services in our branch church. So, he has appointed some youths to conduct songs, praise, and worship. But these people do not have any knowledge of music.…

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Should games be offered at youth groups?

Question: Without asking or even wanting, my wife and I found ourselves in our church’s youth ministry. I’ve been saved for five years and my wife three. I have a ministry dilemma. I believe in the things that your congregation believes in, providing for others their spiritual needs. As a result, I got rid of…

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How do I help my depressed teenage daughter?

Question: I am in desperate need of information to help my teenage daughter.  She is struggling with self-esteem issues and the like — all of your normal teenage troubles.  Now she is showing some signs of depression.  She is 13.  I have just spent the last 2 hours talking with her, and I thought it…

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Should I go ahead and spank my son?

Question: How are you doing? I wrote to you about three years ago about our two sons. Well, now the oldest is 16 and just received his license. Our youngest son is 11. We had implemented spanking and following God’s word on the matter. After the first couple of years of talking and seeking your…

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When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries?

Question: When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries? Answer: When a teenager has cosmetics, soaps, shampoos, shaving cream, etc. that he wants of a specific brand and desires to use exclusively, then it is time to start purchasing them on his own. For example, if he uses the same shampoo that most of…

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How do I help a young man going down the wrong path?

Question: I do have a question concerning a young man (about 17) who is heading down the wrong path. He is my friend’s brother-in-law who always gets in trouble legally. He does various things, such as smoking, and stealing, and has been sexually involved with a 14-year-old girl recently. This is the second or third…

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How do I punish my teenage son for lying about his grades?

Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church, and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…

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How do you punish a boy caught masturbating?

Question: I have a problem. Yesterday, I sent my son to his room because he had misbehaved. About 15 minutes later I decided to check on him to make sure he wasn’t sulking. I normally knock before opening the door, but this time I just opened it. I was appalled to see him masturbating. He quickly…

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How should I handle out-of-control teenage boys?

Question: First, let me apologize for not giving you enough details upon which to base a recommended course of action. Actually, the answer you gave, even without specifics, makes good sense: go after the most serious problems first and then move down the line, without dropping the ball on the first set of issues. I think…

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How do you get over the embarrassment of spanking a teenager?

Question: I’m glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I’m a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I’ve been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I’m uptight about male nudity, but I realize that…

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How can you spank when the child refuses to submit to a spanking?

Question: In relation to using the rod with our sons who are 14 and 10, we started to use a switch and made changes to the way we spanked about a year ago after reading the information on your website. We talked with the boys and we all decided to use spanking in certain acts…

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My fifteen-year-old has become violent and domineering

Question: My oldest boy is 15 years old. Recently he has become violent and domineering. All the conversations that we have had with him haven’t helped much. He continues to pretend that now he is 15 years old he has the right to be free and to behave as he pleases. When we threaten punishment,…

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How can I help someone who attempted suicide?

Question: I have a problem that I have never had to deal with before and pray that I will not experience anything like it again. One of our member’s granddaughter attempted suicide, by an overdose of prescription medication, last night. She is only fifteen years old, a very sweet young girl, but one that is…

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How do I help someone who almost committed suicide?

Question: I have a problem that I have never had to deal with before and pray that I will not experience anything like it again. One of our member’s granddaughter attempted suicide, by an overdose of prescription medication, last night. She is only fifteen years old, a very sweet young girl, but one that is…

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I need help handling teenage dress and language problems

Question: I need another outlook about fashion statements of today in the church. Young ladies are exposing themselves and young men are out of control with their dress and their mouth. I have covered I Corinthians and Deuteronomy 22 and a few other chapters. Can you help me put this in perspective?   Answer: I…

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What should a teenager do to guard against pride?

Question: The Bible tells us that “Pride comes before destruction.” What are the things a teenager should guard against in order to be respectful and humble? Answer: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). The problem of pride is not unique to teenagers. All people struggle with it since…

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Should young boys lead singing in worship?

Question: The congregation I am meeting at has, on the last Wednesday night of the month, a singing night. We don’t have classes that night. We come together in the auditorium and sing songs, pray and someone gives a short ten-minute lesson. We let the boys get up in front of the congregation with their…

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Notes on Adolescence and Teenagers

Genesis 37:2-4 “This is the history of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brothers. And the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to his father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all…

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Can a woman teach a teenage boy?

Question: I’d like your input concerning a confrontation that I had with two ladies after services last evening. We have a 14-year-old boy who is not yet a Christian. His mother has been teaching him in our Sunday morning Bible class. I mentioned that we need to assign a “Christian man” to teach him. One…

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How do I chasten my teenager for using drugs?

Question: How do I chasten my teenager for using drugs? Question: What do I do if I find my teenager is using drugs? Answer: The use of drugs causes numerous problems for the parent as well as the child. Some of what I’m about to write will need to be modified for your particular situation…

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