self-control – La Vista Church of Christ

Control Your Tongue

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 17:13:10 +0000

by Luiz Felipe Lima De Albuquerque

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some young men came out of the town and jeered at him. “Go away, you baldhead!” they said. “Go away, you baldhead!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths" (II Kings 2:23-24).

With the ease of commenting on social media, many people can quickly make their opinions known to a large audience. The power to influence many is in the hands of a single individual who only needs a cell phone.
If you stop to read, sometimes even on religious pages, you will see people saying that hell doesn't exist, for example, or that free will doesn't exist, or that it's fine for a Christian to divorce if they don't like their marriage. It's not surprising that many believe these ideas; they say what many want to hear.
Although technology has changed, human beings have always struggled with controlling their tongue. An example is the case of Elisha, a prophet who suffered heavy insults from 42 young men.

Based on their behavior, we can draw three lessons:

Morality and Consequences

The first lesson is that the fool does not think about morality or consequences before speaking.

By the way the young men spoke, they knew that Elisha had lost his master, Elijah, and that Elisha was a prophet. Still, they gathered in a group to insult him.
The truth is that groups, movements, ideologies, and trends can often make us forget that our actions, especially what we say, carry weight, and the responsibility is still ours, especially when it comes to consequences.
Their worst mistake, perhaps, was thinking that there would be no consequences, much less immediate consequences.

Timing

The second lesson is that the fool chooses the worst time.

We can observe in the story that Elisha was going through a difficult time of mourning, as evidenced by his quick reaction to the young men's attitude, and yet they insisted on insulting him.
In the modern world, we call this a "person without a filter." This is the type of person who says everything on their mind, often speaking nonsense and saying things that shouldn't be said to people who won't always tolerate it.

Destructive

The third lesson is that the fool speaks to destroy

"Go away, you baldhead! Go away, you baldhead!" is certainly an insult to Elijah's memory and a direct provocation to Elisha. Here we see that the fool does not speak to heal; he speaks to wound.
If you access a social network, for example, you will see people insulting each other and justifying their actions: "He irritated me," "That's just how I am!" "He's not one of our group!"
The 42 young men also thought it was fine to hurt Elisha, until two bears appeared and mauled them. The intention to wound turned against them.

Controlling Our Tongue

Observing this case, let's consider an important question: Does Christianity teach us to control our tongue?

"But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shal be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire" (Matthew 5:22 KJV).

In Christianity, we should not get angry with a brother without cause, much less insult them. An example is the word Raca, which, for those who don't know, means empty, foolish, useless, and worthless. Compared to today's insults, this is still mild.
Jesus was clear: Christianity is not permission to say whatever you want.

This leads us to three aspects in which the Christian is completely the opposite of the 42 foolish young men.

Think

The first lesson is that Christians think before speaking.

In John 8:3-6, Jesus was surrounded by Pharisees waiting for an answer about a woman caught in adultery. Instead of rushing to answer, Jesus decided to write in the sand before responding:

"And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not" (John 8:3-6 KJV).

Here we see a well-thought-out trap:

If Jesus ordered the execution of the adulterous woman, he would provoke Roman Law, because civilians were forbidden from executing people.
If Jesus said they should free the woman, he would be accused of violating the Law of God.

Jesus, being extremely intelligent, realized the trap and spent time writing in the sand, and then said that whoever "was without sin" could cast the first stone. Jesus' attitude reflects the behavior we should have.

"The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth" (Proverbs 10:20-21). The Christian's tongue must be choice silver: pure, valuable, and selected. The Christian chooses very carefully what he says.
"Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles" (Proverbs 21:23). Keeping one's mouth means limiting or restricting it, avoiding more trouble than necessary.

The Christian thinks about morality and consequences before speaking.

Choose the Best Time

The second lesson is that the Christian chooses the best time

Surrounded by his enemies in Matthew 27, Jesus has the opportunity to defend himself before Pilate, but he does not. Many today would call this passivity, but the truth is that Jesus knew that this was not the time to defend himself. When the chief priests and elders accused him, he answered nothing. "Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee? And he answered him to never a word; insomuch that the governor marvelled greatly" (Matthew 27:12-14 KJV).

This example reflects a fundamental aspect of using the tongue: timing. The Bible teaches us that whoever controls their tongue knows when is the best time to speak:

Solomon compares words spoken at the right time to apples of gold in settings of silver. Although apples of gold are worth a lot, the delivery is much more complete with an appropriate setting:
- "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Proverbs 25:11 KJV).
He also teaches that sometimes not speaking is a sign of knowledge:
- "He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit" (Proverbs 17:27 KJV).
- "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Proverbs 18:21 KJV).

The Christian waits for the best time to speak.

Building Up

The third lesson is that the Christian speaks to build up, not to wound, but does not stifle the Truth.

John and James were known as the Sons of Thunder, and not by chance: both were quick and explosive, but they lacked the maturity to understand that Christ did not come to destroy lives, but to save them. Let's look at the following text:

"As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. And he sent messengers on ahead, who went into a Samaritan village to get things ready for him; but the people there did not welcome him, because he was heading for Jerusalem. When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, 'Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?' But Jesus turned and rebuked them, saying, 'You do not know what kind of spirit you are of, for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them'” (Luke 9:51-56 NIV).

See how Christ made a point of correcting them at that moment, whether they liked it or not. How would you feel if you heard someone say, "You don't know what you are doing?" But it was thanks to this example that the apostles reached maturity and maintained their assertiveness, without forgetting the doctrine of Christ. We have several examples in the Bible where John is assertive and direct, but not to wound, but to build up:

"He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him" (I John 2:4 KJV). Observe how John uses the word liar, without insulting, but accusing truthfully.
"Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds" (II John 9-11 KJV). We can observe that John made it clear, without mincing words, that false brothers should be kept away, and that those who welcome them into their homes are complicit in their evil deeds.
"I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not. Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church. Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God" (III John 9-11 KJV). Observe how John, this time, speaks directly about a brother who has bad behavior.
Perhaps John would not be very popular among Christians today; perhaps some here would not even accept him at first, especially with modern philosophies within the church that try to censor those who point out what is wrong.
One of the problems Christians need to deal with is confusing "love" with "sweeping the dirt under the rug and pretending everything is fine so as not to scare people away." John is an excellent example that being a Christian means being willing to speak the truth for edification, even if it is "unpleasant," "annoying," "repetitive," or causes distance from the false brother. The Christian corrects for edification, regardless of the consequences.

We can say with certainty that being a Christian is not about being aggressive or passive, but rather being prepared to correct and act according to doctrine.

As a Christian, I hope this word takes root in your heart, and that everyone here learns to use their words to build up and guide our brothers and visitors instead of wounding or remaining silent so as not to displease. May God bless us.

I can’t seem to shake pornography

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 16 Aug 2025 20:24:33 +0000

Question:

Hi,

I obeyed the gospel when I was 12 years old as a member of the church of Christ. My mom died a few months after I was baptized. It wasn't long after that that I began allowing myself to be influenced by the wrong crowd, allowing the world to creep back into my life. I do not mention these circumstances with any intention of displacing the blame, which falls squarely on me. I continued to attend worship service with my dad through school, but I knew that I had begun to drift away from a life in Christ, hanging around the wrong crowd. I never stopped praying and always felt the need for God in my life, even during those times, but I was certainly not keeping his commandments. I married a beautiful, wonderful woman. My struggle with porn started after my introduction to the Internet years ago. I am now in my sixties, and I continue to struggle with porn and lust.

Recently, I returned to the church and placed my membership at a local church of Christ, a wonderful and supportive group of brothers and sisters in Christ. But I cannot seem to shake this sin.

I've gone to a flip phone at times, but that creates a problem with banking and bill-paying apps. I've also put screen locks on my phone, but you cannot really protect yourself from yourself. I've spoken with my minister, and he's been very supportive and helpful, providing biblical instruction and guidance as well. However, I'm ashamed to admit just how bad it is.

I will confess my sin to God and ask Him to give me strength and to deliver me from this temptation that so entangles me. I also pray for godly sorrow that leads to true repentance. But then I give in yet again.

It is a vicious cycle, and I know forgiveness comes with repentance. The thought of my conscience being seared scares me very much, as I am aware of the consequences. I feel like such a wretched man. I know that ultimately, it is Christ that we should strive to be like, but I see other members, brothers and sisters in Christ, whom I look up to and would love to emulate.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can offer.

Answer:

I wish I had a simple way to make the desire to look at pornography go away, but it doesn't exist. Clearly, you are able to live without pornography. You've been hooked on it for only a fraction of your adult life. Therefore, the problem isn't a physical one but a spiritual one.

One aspect of the problem is that you've given yourself a "pass." You tell yourself, "It isn't like I'm running around committing adultery!" We tend to rate our sins and tell ourselves that as long as I'm not involved in horrible sins, then I'm not such a bad person. It is curious that a person who has no problem saying "No!" to adultery can't tell himself "No!" when watching others commit sexual sins. This is the problem Jesus addressed with the Jews of his day. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

Another aspect of the problem is that you've developed a habit. When certain "triggers" are present, your impulse is to look at pornography. Every person has their own set of triggers. However, it is essential to identify your triggers. In every case, the reason you turn to pornography isn't solved by looking at pornography. You may experience temporary relief, but it always returns. As a result, a cycle takes place, and no progress is made. What you have to do is find real solutions for the problems that trigger your porn use -- ones that don't involve sin.

"Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified" (I Corinthians 9:27-29).

Athletes are willing to set aside their immediate desires when they are focused on a greater desire. Is the world and your flesh more important to you than serving God and reaching heaven? Self-control isn't something you're given; it is something you have to develop and exert. It comes by acknowledging that you have desires, but it is paired with knowing that those desires aren't your goal. See "Onward and Upward."

Often, there are slip-ups. What do you do? Do you give yourself another pass? "Well, I messed up again, so it doesn't matter if I keep going for a bit. Then I'll straighten this out." Or do you get right back to the battle? "For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity" (Proverbs 24:16).

Limiting your access to pornography is a good start. It gives you a breather to build up your spiritual strength. However, if there is no growth, then when the barriers are dropped, you revert to the same sins. I see this all the time with people who are converted while in prison. They perform well in a controlled environment, but shortly after they are released, they revert to their familiar habits. Get a pornography blocker installed on your phones and computers. Have someone be your accountability partner who will get alerts when you start straying. When they contact you, be honest. No one can help you when you are hiding the truth.

Question:

Thank you! I appreciate your quick response.

I certainly agree with everything you say based on Scripture. I do not believe it is any less sinful than the actual act of adultery. I believe sin is sin and that any unrepentant sin jeopardizes my salvation. I often pray that God will remove the callousness from my heart and bring me to a place of godly sorrow. I do not want to make excuses because we’re talking about my soul. Maybe I’m foolishly expecting God to do all the work, which I know won’t happen.

And I know that God tells us He will not let us be tempted beyond that which we are able to bear. That makes it clear that I have a choice. The condition of my heart scares me. I fear that I have a seared conscience. I do not want to be like Esau.

Might I request that you please pray for me? Thank you again for your help.

Answer:

Clearly, you desire to change, so you are not like Esau, who didn't think he had a problem. Instead of worrying about whether you are able to change, change! Understand that it will be rough at the start. There might be a few slips, but be determined to stay the course.

Response:

I will. Thank you!

Control

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 23:17:38 +0000

by Mark Chatfield
via Sentry Magazine, Vol. 17 No. 4, June 30, 1991

Several days ago, I went for a lunchtime walk near the Air and Space Museum in downtown Washington, D.C., near my office. I was considering the fine weather and fresh breeze. Suddenly, a sheet from the Washington Post skittered diagonally across the walk in front of me. It came to rest just by my left foot. I had to step out of the way to keep it from getting wrapped around my ankle. When I stepped past the litter, a Park Ranger walking with the breeze behind the paper stooped down to pick it up. As he did, he mumbled something to the effect. "You walked right past it."

Somehow, I was restrained from saying something equally thoughtless. I reflected on how my tax money was paying him. He was hired to keep the area clean and had a duty to consider public relations. No doubt he expected me to pick up every piece of paper and each wad of ABC gum on the sidewalk (ABC stands for Already Been Chewed). Maybe I should have picked up the paper, but whether right or wrong, he found out that he did not control me by just mumbling about it after the fact. If he had pointed a gun at me and ordered me to chase after the paper, surely I would have done so. If the day before, he had spent an hour or so telling me how it is every citizen's responsibility to keep our environment clean, I probably would have been sufficiently influenced to retrieve the litter. But he didn’t, and I took the first action that came to mind - not what he would have had me do.

"Control what you eat and drink."

"Control what you read."

"Control who you associate with."

Hardly a day goes by without hearing about the need to be in control. We most certainly should have self-control. Each person who keeps his personal habits in check is better off. Everyone benefits by living within the rules of society and the laws of the land.

Christians are instructed to go beyond complying with the law. They are instructed to control lust, language, envy, anger, and other thoughts and actions that are contrary to God's will. This is apparent to virtually every Christian, but it is not the object of this article. Rather, this paper deals with a few points on "how" some people control others. Sometimes, this has good results, but too often, power is misused, resulting in someone unfairly and manipulatively controlling another.

This subject, the control of others, is very closely related to the subjects of influence and power. Influential and powerful people control others. Manipulated people are controlled by others further up in the power hierarchy. So, what gives a person the ability to control others? There are sources of power, bases of power, and styles of power. Understanding how power is derived can help us see how we might be manipulated and caused to stumble. Knowing about power can also help us be bolder Christians. After all, God's power through Christ motivates us and permits us to influence others to seek Him.

Sources of Power

Someone highly skilled at speaking has speech as a power source. If he or she gets laryngitis, the power in this area is gone. Someone who is president of a club has the title and the club charter as the source of power. If either is lost, the power in that club is lost. Someone who has the gospel of Christ as his or her power source has the ultimate authority to rely upon. It cannot be eroded.

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek" (Romans 1:16).

"What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel" (I Corinthians 9:18).

A person with much money or a title, such as "King," has a traditional, artificial power source. A very knowledgeable and respected person has earned a real power source. Bible examples of those with artificial power include hypocritical Pharisees and those born into positions like the Caesars. On the other hand, Jesus' power with men was real. He had knowledge, respect, charisma, honesty, creativity, and interest in others.

In the church, a person serving as a teacher, evangelist, deacon, or elder may be given artificial power by those who think of them as having a certain "rank" in the church. This is contrary to the way Christ established the church. To have real power in the church, one must be a servant.

"But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:26-28).

Bases of Power

A base of power is the arena of influence one person may have. The Queen of England has a powerful title but a very small power base. The Prime Minister has been given the actual authority to make binding decisions on behalf of the government. So, regardless of the title, a person's power base is dictated by the authority that other people grant them. The base of power indicates how much real power they have. Jesus has all authority and power.

"Jesus saith unto them, 'Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes?'" (Matthew 21:42).

Christians who look to themselves as their base of power are headed for trouble. The same goes for those who look for power in church leaders. The preacher, class teachers, deacons, and elders should all be strong, righteous, trustworthy, and honest. However, since they are humans, they should not be looked to for power in saving the soul. Such power belongs to God through His Son. More specifically, God shows great power in hearing the gospel preached.

"For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God" (I Corinthians 1:18).

Styles of Power

A style of power is the approach a person takes in exercising influence over others. Mahatma Gandhi exercised great power through quiet protest and kind words. Adolf Hitler used charismatic, emotional, bombastic speeches combined with nationalism and militaristic threats. Jesus used love and wonderful words to encourage those who would learn of him. He used honest rebukes toward those who were insincere and hypocritical. Paul was flexible in his style of power.

"And unto Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some" (I Corinthians 9:20-22).

Putting it all together

What should we look for to recognize when we should yield to the control of others? What elements of power help us influence others in the way God would have us influence them? How can we tell if we are being manipulated? Is it possible to see in advance that we are being led astray by someone wielding power that is not properly derived or controlled?

Here are some suggestions with scriptural examples:

Have Information

The first step is having firsthand knowledge of information or ready solutions to questions and problems. When Hilkiah found the Book of the Law, he discovered a significant power base.

"And Hilkiah the high priest said unto Shaphan the scribe, 'I have found the book of the law in the house of the Lord.' And he gave the book to Shaphan, and he read it" (II Kings 22: 8).

Develop Expertise

After finding the book of the law, Josiah read it. He studied and ensured others were aware of God's teachings.

"And the king went up into the house of the Lord, and all the men of Judah and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem with him, and the priests, and the prophets, and all the people, both small and great: and he read in their ears all the words of the book of the covenant which was found in the house of the Lord" (II Kings 23:2).

Have a Position with Expertise

After demonstrating to Pharaoh that he had first-hand knowledge and expertise, Joseph was appointed to a powerful government position. His power with the position was much greater than his power while he was in prison.

"And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck; And he made him to ride in the second chariot which he had; and they cried before him, 'Bow the knee:' and he made him ruler over all the land of Egypt" (Genesis 41:42-43).

Be Authoritative

If Joseph had never made any decisions or ordered anyone to do anything, he would have soon lost his power.

"And when all the land of Egypt was famished, the People cried to Pharaoh for bread: and Pharaoh said unto all the Egyptians, 'Go unto Joseph; what he saith to you, do'" (Genesis 41:55).

Have Respect

This is not only for respect for others but also for self-respect, as it allows you to welcome the esteem others have for you. Solomon had such a reputation that the Queen of Sheba came to visit. He did not shyly send her away, saying, "I don't deserve all this." He gracefully accepted her visit, and his power increased even more.

"And she said to the king, 'It was a true report that I heard in my own land of thy acts and of thy wisdom'" (I Kings 10:6).

Care

Show respect for others, even at your own expense. When King Saul threatened David, David never faltered in showing care and concern, which gave him added power.

"And he said unto his men, 'The Lord forbid that I should do this thing unto my master, the Lord's anointed, to stretch forth mine hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord'" (I Samuel 24:6).

Reward People

Paul began virtually every epistle, even the scorching admonition to the Corinthians, with a sincere compliment and greeting. He let people know he appreciated their good points. He rewarded them with sincerely kind words.

"I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ; That in everything ye are enriched by him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge" (I Corinthians 1:4-5).

Take Away Problems

God displayed His power through Elisha when Naaman was cleansed of his leprosy. We cannot miraculously cure disease, but our time, words, effort, and money may help remove others' problems.

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).

Give Negative Consequences

Paul asked the Corinthians if they wanted him to come with a rod. A willingness to discipline is needed to confront sin. A spirit of meekness is best to confirm good works.

"What will ye? Shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness?" (I Corinthians 4:21).

Take Away Positive Consequences

Moses, when he failed to give God due credit, lost his opportunity to enter the promised land. The ability to remove positive consequences and, in doing so, increase in power and influence is the highest form of power.

"And the Lord said unto Moses, 'Get thee up into this mount Abarim, and see the land which I have given unto the children of Israel. And when thou hast seen it, thou also shalt be gathered unto thy people, as Aaron thy brother was gathered. For ye rebelled against my commandment in the desert of Zin, in the strife of the congregation, to sanctify me at the water before their eyes:' that is the water of Meribah in Kadesh in the wilderness of Zin" (Numbers 27:12-14).

Bringing It Forward to Today

Let's examine how some of these ideas can be applied to our daily lives.

Think of someone who controlled you at one time. Your parents, spouse, or a friend, for instance. What was the source of their power? How would you classify whether their power was of a real or artificial source? If it were real power, consider how they established that power. Which of the above steps were used? Did you grant them control over you, or was it usurped?

We have little to worry about if the person who influences and controls us is honest, upright, and Godly. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. You have a choice when your supervisor lets you know that your refusal to have a beer with the rest of the workers hurts company morale. Either you can let yourself be controlled and go along with this supervisor, or you can recognize the use of artificial power and handle the situation firmly. Artificial power, using position to influence, is inferior to real power. Each of us has access to real power, and in that fact, we can have great hope. God gives of His power freely. Refusing to yield to artificial power while still showing care and respect will allow us to show our self-control and also glorify God by our actions.

It would be nice if Christians never had to worry about other Christians exercising undue authority or power over them. For this to happen would mean Christians are not human., In addition, the danger may be worse for Christians. It is not only normal; it is expected that one Christian will trust another. If there is an error to be made, let us make it on the side of trusting another Christian. However, let us also be circumspect. Remember, Hymanaeus and Philetus were among Christians, manipulating and leading them astray.

Sometimes, people can be so close to us that we fail to recognize an evil influence. Let us never be led into the trap of one saying, "If you love me, you will trust me." God says we are to love our enemies and trust in God, not man.

A Bible class teacher is in a position of authority over the class. It is a position of power and control. The teacher controls the students' pace of learning as well as much of the content of the material presented. How much students learn depends mainly on how the teacher handles the class. A calm atmosphere of learning and exchanging ideas is appropriate and beneficial to all, even if disagreements are expressed. It is often through disagreements that the most learning takes place. Discussions of differing opinions show that a teacher is enabling and encouraging learning. Bible class teachers should not bore students by going too slow or intimidate students by going too fast. There is minimal value in going too slow and no value in keeping students off guard. Our Bible classes should be taught in a way that permits as many as possible to ask questions without feeling overwhelmed or shy.

A teacher does not need to feel insecure about not knowing all the answers. Nor should teachers be discouraged if they make a mistake. Mistakes are difficult learning experiences, not excuses for quitting or for becoming defensive.

Some people can't stand to be thought of as inferior. These people tend to talk "down" to others. One way they speak down to others is to use labels. Look out for anyone who engages in name-calling to keep you on the defensive. Some call this the "Me Tarzan, you Jane" syndrome. Just mentioning a word like "stupid" or "dumb" implies that the speaker is superior. These are not words of kindness. Christians would do well to remove such words from their vocabularies.

Insincere compliments or flattery are avenues of trouble as well. Being patronizing is just another way to try to gain an advantage. If someone you barely know flatters you or calls you "friend," be careful.

Surprises can also be used to gain the upper hand in a discussion. Changing the subject or making a joke is often an effective way to disarm an opponent, even though they may have been correct. If you know one who can interject a joke at any point in a conversation, you know one who can often control the flow of a discussion.

Intelligence is a tool of the godly. Unfortunately, it is also a tool of the Devil. Quoting scripture is not in itself a sign of a person of God. The Christian who would find the truth is the one who, after having heard the scriptures, studies to find that they have been used in the proper context for the cause of God. The Christian who can do this while "thinking on his feet," as Paul obviously could, has a distinct advantage. The Christian who must study in depth and dig things out may be slower in arriving at the same conclusion, but God does not demand instantaneous perception of His word. Let's ensure we are not trying to superimpose a minimum intelligence quota as a criterion for God's acceptance of a person.

May we each be able to recognize sources of power and use them for God's purposes. Shelley wrote of its misuse, "Power, like a desolating pestilence, Pollutes whate'er it touches." We should be able to recognize when someone else, even a Christian, is exercising undue or unnecessary power techniques to influence us. Real power is God. No man can compare to Him. Let's all yield to God, be circumspect with Christians, and never yield to evil.

Increasingly Angry

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 04:04:39 +0000

by Zeke Flores

An interesting thing happened at a grocery store one morning. I was at the customer service desk and saw a man complaining very loudly to a store manager about the rude service he thought he had gotten from one of the store clerks. While the manager did her best to be sympathetic and understanding, the man became more and more furious (!) and eventually was yelling and cursing. He was inflicting much worse on the manager than he had told her he had received from the clerk!

We may bristle at poor customer service or, worse, even become angrily indignant about sin, but we should remember that how we deal with confrontational situations may tempt us to commit the very thing we condemn. Christians shouldn't be doormats, but neither should we be hypocritical as we make our voices heard.

So, remember to check yourself first, whether you're complaining about poor customer service, debating contrary politics, opposing sin, or doing anything else.

"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you" (Luke 6:31).

Controlling Our Emotions

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 06 Oct 2024 21:40:33 +0000

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Controlling-Our-Emotions.mp3

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

Text: Mark 7:18-23

I. From the heart comes the emotions which affect all aspects of our life - Proverbs 4:23

A. We can poison the well with evil thoughts - Mark 7:20-23

B. We can sweeten it with righteous ideals - Philippians 4:4-9

C. It affects our outlook on life - Proverbs 15:13

D. Our emotions have to be controlled, else they will control our lives

1. Control gives us added strength - Proverbs 16:32

E. Trust that God can teach us how - Proverbs 3:5-8

II. When emotions are out of control

A. You are left vulnerable to attack by others - Proverbs 25:28

B. It can misguide us - Proverbs 28:26

1. That is why everything isn’t as it may appear - Proverbs 14:12

2. It twists us up, even to the point of leading us away from God - Proverbs 19:3

3. A classic example are the Jews - Acts 13:45-46

a. Their emotional response lead them away from the truth

C. It is foolish to vent your feelings - Proverbs 29:11

III. Dangerous emotions

A. Anger - “a fiery resentment over mistreatment, whether real, exaggerated, or imagined”

1. The problem

a. It doesn’t lead to righteousness - James 1:19-20

b. A fool exercises no control over his anger - Proverbs 12:16

c. You end up making dumb mistakes - Proverbs 14:29

d. It leads to fights - Proverbs 30:33

(1) There is no control over what is said

(2) Soon there is no control over what is done

e. It gets us into trouble, repeatedly - Proverbs 19:19

2. The solution

a. Stay away from angry people. It is a learned trait - Proverbs 22:24-25

b. Distinguish between important matters and small annoyances - Proverbs 19:11

c. Slow down your response and look for solutions to the problem - Proverbs 15:18

B. Envy - “displeasure at another’s good fortune, thinking it should belong to you and not them”

1. The problem

a. It destroys the person from the inside - Proverbs 14:30

b. It causes harm to others - Galatians 5:15

c. It promotes evil - James 3:14-16

d. The classic example: Cain - I John 3:12

2. The solution

a. Focus on serving God - Proverbs 23:17-18

b. If someone, because of their evil, doesn’t deserve something know that God will handle the problem - Psalms 37:1-3

c. Esteem others above yourself - Philippians 2:3-4

C. Arrogance - “an inflated feeling of self-importance”

1. The problem

a. You don’t listen to others and you get conflicts - Proverbs 13:10

b. It is destructive - Proverbs 16:18

c. It is sinful - Proverbs 21:4

2. The solution

a. Humility - Proverbs 18:12

b. The humble learn - Proverbs 11:2

c. When we see ourselves as God does, we lose our pride - Romans 12:3

D. Impulsiveness - “rashness, recklessness, acting without advance thought”

1. The problem

a. Without thought we lose what we have - Proverbs 21:5

b. We say things we later regret - Proverbs 29:20

c. It can be destructive - Proverbs 13:3

2. The solution

a. Think about where you are going - Proverbs 4:26, Proverbs 14:15

b. Understand what you are doing - Proverbs 14:8

c. Look where it leads - Proverbs 22:3

d. Guard your thoughts and words - Proverbs 21:23

e. Think before you speak - Proverbs 15:28

E. Anxiety - “uneasiness caused by fear of misfortune”

1. The problem

a. Causes depression - Proverbs 12:25

b. It destroys health - Proverbs 17:22; 18:14

2. The solution

a. Choose to be happy - Proverbs 15:15

b. Cultivate pleasant friends who give good advice - Proverbs 16:24; 27:9

c. Trust in God - Proverbs 16:20; 29:25

d. Hope in God - Psalms 42:11

IV. The solution to uncontrolled emotions

A. Respect God - Proverbs 14:26-27; 19:23

B. Listen to correction - Proverbs 17:10

C. Cultivate godly wisdom - Proverbs 3:1-26

Based on a lesson by Frank Walton

Is I Corinthians 7:9 talking about unfulfilled desires?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 13 Apr 2024 19:58:42 +0000

Question:

I was wishing to ask a question about I Corinthians 7:9. Is it okay to say that it is better to marry than to burn with unfulfilled desire?

Answer:

"Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:7-9).

In the Greek text, the last phrase is "for it is better to marry than to burn." Translators have added "with passion" to clarify what kind of burning Paul was discussing. The Greek word puroo means to set on fire or burn. Figuratively, it means to fan the flames of emotions, especially sexual desire. The context is that the lack of self-control would lead a man and woman to commit a sexual sin fueled by their desire for sex. In other words, Paul is not talking about unfulfilled desires but desires that have gotten out of control.

Paul recommended (not commanded) remaining single because Christians were facing persecutions that were about to get worse. "I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is" (I Corinthians 7:26). I Corinthians 7:9 emphasizes that people should not become dogmatic about his recommendation. If someone fears that he will lose control because of his desire for sex, then they should go ahead and get married, even if it leads to a more difficult life.

The Christian’s Attributes

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 12 Nov 2023 02:28:11 +0000

by Jefferson David Tant

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins” (II Peter 1:5-9).

Every profession or career that a man or woman may undertake will have certain attitudes, characteristics, or behavior patterns that will identify what is being done, whether one is a doctor, carpenter, nurse, mother, preacher, janitor, or whatever.

Consider Paul’s admonition to Corinth: “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win” (I Corinthians 9:24).

This most certainly has an application to those who profess to be Christians, for God has outlined various characteristics that would identify one who aspires to be a Christian, a follower of Christ. So let us briefly consider those matters that Peter mentioned in his letter that will help us to “run in such a way that you may win.”

Diligence

What is diligence? Oxford Dictionary says it is “careful and persistent work or effort.” I believe the words “diligent” or “diligence” are used some 20 times in the Old and New Testaments.

Can you imagine the disaster that would come if a surgeon operating on a patient didn’t exercise diligence? The life of his patient depends on the careful work of the doctor. Or what if we took our car to the mechanic for a motor overhaul? We surely would want him to exercise diligence in his work, lest we have an engine failure while driving down the highway at 70 mph.

Now, is there anything more important than our body or our car? Yes — our soul and its eternity. This leaves no room for haphazard or so-so lives as Christians. There are too many who consider themselves to be Christians but display no zeal. Oh, they are not bad people or blatant sinners, they just don’t have any zeal. They just more or less “coast along.”

Paul wrote to Titus and mentioned, “Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.” (Titus 2:13-14)

Christians are in a race, and there is only one way to earnestly compete in a race. We must be “zealous.” As mentioned earlier, we are told to “Run in such a way that you may win” (I Corinthians 9:24). You probably never saw a race where a runner just sauntered along, waving at his grandmother in the stands. No, he was focused on the goal. And that should characterize Christians— focused on the goal.

Faith

Faith is defined as “moral conviction (of religious truth).” True faith is based on evidence, not on wishful thinking or believing fairy tales. Of the many religions in the world, there is only one that can be proven to rest on absolute proven facts.

For example, there are over 300 prophecies about Jesus Christ, with some written centuries before he was born. How could that be unless God was the author of this? There is no other so-called “god” or religious leader that can equal that in any way, shape, or form. And there are many other prophecies about nations and individuals. Not one has failed.

Where is even one prophecy about Muhammad, Buddha, Zoroaster, the Hindu gods, or whoever else men claim as gods? Where is the evidence that they were messengers of God? There is none.

We remember what happened on the Day of Pentecost in Acts 2 about the year 33 A.D. Three thousand souls were baptized into Christ after listening to the teaching of the apostles, and the evidence presented convinced them that they had crucified the Son of God, and not only that but that He had been raised from the dead! How do you convince thousands of people about this? You present evidence! The evidence was so strong that 3,000 souls were baptized into Christ that day, and soon the number became 5,000.

True faith is based on solid evidence, not wishful thinking. Time after time the fulfilment of prophecy is mentioned in the New Testament. One example is when Jesus sent the disciples to obtain an animal for him to ride on when he entered Jerusalem. “This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: 'Say to the daughter of Zion, "Behold your King is coming to you, gentle, and mounted on a donkey, even on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden"'" (Matthew 21:4-5).

Now note what the prophet wrote: “Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; He is just and endowed with salvation, Humble, and mounted on a donkey, Even on a colt, the foal of a donkey” (Zechariah 9:9). This was written more than 500 years before Christ was born. The Bible is full of such evidence. No other religious book has this evidence — not the Quran, the Upanishads, the Rig Veda, or any other. True faith is based on solid evidence, not fairy tales, "think-so"s, or just good thoughts.

Moral Excellence

What is “moral excellence?” This is from the Greek word “arete,” and carries the meaning of “virtue.” Two commentaries I have cited are noted as they explain moral excellence or virtue.

“Courage or fortitude, to enable you to profess the faith before men, in these times of persecution” [Adam Clarke].

“courage, manhood, or bravery to live out your profession of faith in the midst of your adversaries" [Brethren New Testament Commentary].

We know that early Christians were often persecuted, imprisoned, and sometimes put to death. But they persevered, knowing that what was waiting for them made whatever persecution they were enduring to be nothing compared to the reward that was waiting for them.

At times there may be goals or rewards for which we strive, and the journey may be difficult, tiring, and wearisome, but we persevere because we are looking towards the reward, and knowing that whatever struggles we face are worth it. And what greater reward is there than heaven? In various nations today Muslim and Hindu persecutions are quite severe, but those who believe in Christ persevere, for they are looking forward to a greater reward than peace with their enemies.

The writer of Hebrews encourages us: “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Knowledge

Knowledge is a fundamental aspect of life in this world. We must have knowledge of what is good to eat, how to take care of our bodies, how to relate to fellow humans, and how to be able to work and earn a living. The world is nothing without knowledge.

Knowledge is an absolute must with respect to God and His Word. “So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free" (John 8:32).

I’m afraid too many who consider themselves Christians do not spend much time studying the Bible. As one young woman said, “I don’t have to read my Bible. My priest tells me what it says.” Well, what if the priest is mistaken? What if he is a false teacher? The Bible warns us that there will be many false teachers in the world. In fact, we can go back many thousands of years and hear the words of a false teacher who brought much trouble into the world.

We remember the conversation Mother Eve had with Satan, who was disguised as a snake when she was encouraged to eat the forbidden fruit. “The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat, but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'" The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die!’” (Genesis 3:2-4) What he said sounded good, so she ate. And we know what happened then. It was not good.

Many passages warn about false teachers, including the following in II Peter 2:1: “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves.”

After being driven out of Thessalonica by the Jews, Paul and Silas came to Berea and began teaching there. Notice what was said about the people from that city: “Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so” (Acts 17:11).

How does a student graduate from high school or college? They study the textbooks! I don’t think a student would be very successful if all he or she did was listen to the teacher during class time. It takes more effort than that.

What did the Bereans do? They examined the Scriptures daily. Consider the apostle Paul’s admonition to his son in the Gospel, Timothy: “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth” II Timothy 2:15).

Your Bible needs to be more than a decoration on the coffee table that you pick up to bring to church with you. It needs to be opened and considered on a regular basis.

Self-Control

Some can be really focused on controlling others but lack self-control for themselves. Self-control, or temperance in the KJV, refers to the matter of having mastery or control over all our sinful inclinations and appetites.

Satan is very smart and knows how to tempt us. There are countless ways that man can be tempted, thus it is important for us to be deeply grounded in our faith, as well as in our knowledge of the Scriptures that identify what sin is and tell us how to avoid it.

One great promise that God has given us is found in I Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

That’s God’s promise, and God keeps his promises. There is no validity in saying, after we sin, “I couldn’t help it.” A comedian from a previous generation was well-known for his claim that “The devil made me do it.” That was Flip Wilson. No, Satan has no control over us without our consent.

If you have a weakness for alcohol, don’t go into a bar, and don’t go out to a party where you know beer will be in abundant supply. If you have a weakness for sexual immorality, obviously you don’t need to go to a strip club or scan through the pictures in Playboy Magazine. We each know what our weaknesses are, and must exercise good sense to avoid putting ourselves in places where we can be tempted. That’s just good common sense.

Furthermore, we need to pray about this matter, as Christ taught in what we call “The Lord’s Prayer” in Matthew 6:13: “And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

Perseverance

This is an interesting word, as it comes from the Greek “hupomeno,” which is defined as “cheerful (or hopeful) endurance, constancy:--enduring, patience, patient continuance (waiting).

We are well aware that there are negative things that come into the lives of all of us. Among the things that various people suffer from would include illness, job loss and thus loss of income, accidents, death of a loved one, persecution, etc.

Now, I don’t think God is telling us to persevere with a cheerful attitude when we are injured in a car accident, or when a loved one dies. I believe the context of the passage would apply to the matter of being persecuted for our faith.

So, what should our attitude be when we are persecuted? There are several scriptures that would have an application. Note a few of them.

"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:10-12).

Suppose you have to undergo a painful surgery to correct something that is wrong in your body. Do you moan and weep, or do you have a thankful spirit because you know this pain is going to work out for your healing?

If you want to know something about perseverance, you can read Paul’s account of the things he suffered as a disciple of Christ.

“To my shame I must say that we have been weak by comparison. But in whatever respect anyone else is bold--I speak in foolishness--I am just as bold myself. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they descendants of Abraham? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? --I speak as if insane--I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches. Who is weak without my being weak? Who is led into sin without my intense concern? If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness” (II Corinthians 11:21-30).

Thankfully, many live in nations where their faith is not severely persecuted, but they may be ridiculed or restricted in some ways. But, as mentioned before, there are nations where believers in Christ are persecuted and even put to death. And why do they persevere? Because they know the joy that awaits them if they endure.

Godliness

I don’t think we need a long definition of this character trait. I believe we all understand that this means that we live in such a way that others can see God living in us. The way we live in this world should be such that others can see that we are followers of what God has taught us.

This has both negative and positive inferences. In the negative sense, we do not hate our enemies, we do not gossip, we do not covet, we are not selfish, we are not slanderers, we do not wish ill upon others, and we do not return evil for evil.

Then, in the positive sense, in our everyday living, we live in such a way that our example identifies who we are — who we are following.

I remember several years ago one of the members of the church where I was preaching in Georgia went back home to Texas for a high school reunion. This was several years after his graduation. One of his classmates approached him and said, “Max, I always knew there was something different about you.” What had she observed? She observed that he was a Christian. She observed that his behavior and attitudes stood out as different from others in their class. How so? Evidently, his life was a reflection of godliness. That stood out, and she remembered that even after many years.

As Christians, we should always remember that there are others who see us in our daily lives. And in addition to those we contact on a daily basis, there is One who sees all—our Father in Heaven.

The words of a favorite children’s song would have an application here.

Oh, be careful, little eyes, what you see,
Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see.
There’s a Father up above looking down in tender love,
Oh, be careful, little eyes, what you see.

Oh, be careful, little ears, what you hear,
Oh, be careful, little ears, what you hear.
There’s a Father up above looking down in tender love,
Oh, be careful, little ears, what you hear.

Oh, be careful, little tongue, what you say,
Oh, be careful, little tongue, what you say.
There’s a Father up above looking down in tender love,
Oh, be careful, little tongue, what you say.

Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do,
Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do.
There’s a Father up above looking down in tender love,
Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do.

Oh, be careful, little feet, where you go,
Oh, be careful, little feet, where you go.
There’s a Father up above looking down in tender love,
Oh, be careful, little feet, where you go.

Others are watching us, whether we are aware of it or not. And we know that God is always watching us.

Brotherly Kindness

“Brotherly kindness” should be familiar to us, as there is a city in Pennsylvania in the United States that carries that name. The Greek word is philadelphia, which is literally translated “brotherly kindness.”

Typically, how would a sister or brother treat another brother? Would there be kindness, respect, appreciation, helpfulness, etc.? Oh, it is obvious that some family brothers do not always act in a civil way. They can be mean, irritating, disrespectful, etc. But are we to treat them as an enemy?

Luke gives some counsel on how we are to treat our enemies, how to show brotherly kindness. "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men” (Luke 6:35).

Admittedly, it may not be easy to show this kindness to our enemies, to those who mistreat us. But we have an example, showing us that it can be done. Do you remember the words Christ spoke while he was in unimaginable pain while dying on the cross? “But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves” (Luke 23:34).

If that’s not an example of “brotherly kindness,” then I don’t have any better examples.

Now, it is obvious that God does not expect us to have warm feelings for those who mistreat us in the same way that we have love for our family members or fellow Christians. But we can determine to have a spirit of kindness even towards our enemies. It may not be easy, but Christ has shown us that it can be done. And who knows whether or not our attitude may have a positive effect on them, and they become our friends. It has happened. Consider Paul’s admonition to the Thessalonians: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people” (I Thessalonians 5:15).

Brotherly kindness is an expression of our love. Paul wrote about this to the church at Corinth. “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (I Corinthians 13:1). Paul goes on for several verses describing this love. It is not arrogant, or selfish, is not provoked, and seeks not its own, etc.

The ”love” in this passage is from the Greek “agape,” which is the higher sort of love, not the “phileo” or brotherly love that is felt when we see an old friend and give a big hug. “Agape” love would be controlled more by the mind than the feelings of good emotions when we think of family members or good friends.

Think of the story of the Good Samaritan. Christ told of a man who was stripped, beaten, and left for dead on the roadside. The “religious” leaders, the priest and the Levite, passed by and ignored him. But a Samaritan, who was despised by the Jews, stopped and took care of the man, took him into town to an inn, and paid the innkeeper to help the poor man. This story is told in Luke 10. Notice what Christ said about the Samaritan: “But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion” (Luke 10:33).

Then Jesus asked a question: “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers' hands?" And he said, "The one who showed mercy toward him." Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do the same" " (Luke 10:36-37).

Would you agree that “compassion” would be an expression of “brotherly kindness?”

Question: Do we ever seek opportunities to show brotherly kindness? Or if we see a need, do we pass it by as did the priest and the Levite?

Love

The final attribute that Peter mentions is the greatest of all. This love is the “agape” love. I don’t know that I can improve on Adam Clark’s Commentary on this passage, so I will share his thoughts, which are based on the King James Version of the Bible, and the word “agape” in the KJV is translated as “charity,” while later versions translate the word as “love.”

“Charity--Love to the whole human race, even to your persecutors: love to God and the brethren they had; love to all mankind they must also have. True religion is neither selfish nor insulated; where the love of God is, bigotry cannot exist. Narrow, selfish people, and people of a party, who scarcely have any hope of the salvation of those who do not believe as they believe, and who do not follow with them, have scarcely any religion, though in their own apprehension none is so truly orthodox or religious as themselves.” (Adam Clark)

How Can I Control My Emotions?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 14 Oct 2023 18:30:37 +0000

by Jefferson David Tant
Adapted from "Questions Young People Ask"

What’s your thought? Is fire good or bad? You probably would say that it depends on the circumstances. On a cold winter night, logs burning in a fireplace can provide warmth. That’s good. Uncontrolled, however, the flames can quickly spread and destroy the entire house. That’s bad.

It’s the same with your emotions. When controlled, they’re helpful, enabling you to develop warm friendships. Unrestrained, they can be destructive, not only to you, but also to those around you.

As an adolescent, you may sometimes find yourself overcome by anger or sadness. How can you control those emotions? Let’s discuss them.

Defusing Anger

It’s not easy to deal with the hurt and pain that come when you’re the victim of mistreatment. Some in that situation lose self-control. In fact, the Bible speaks of people who are “given to anger” and “disposed to rage.”

"Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man” (Proverbs 22:24).

“An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression” (Proverbs 29:22).

This is no small matter. Uncontrolled anger can cause you to take action that you’ll later regret. So how can you control your emotions when you’ve been mistreated?

First, analyze the situation squarely, and see if you can settle the matter in your heart. “Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah” (Psalm 4:4). Remember, paying back “harm for harm” will only make matters worse. “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people" (I Thessalonians 5:15). A person harboring resentment is like a hooked fish — both are controlled by someone else.

After thinking the matter over and praying about it, you might find that you can let go of resentment. Then you will reduce its hold on you. “Cease from anger and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing” (Psalm 37:8).

But what if the hurt feelings just won’t go away? The Bible says there “is a time to keep quiet and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). Can you talk to the person who hurt you? If that’s not advisable, you might benefit by talking to your parents or a mature friend about how you feel. If someone is purposely trying to hurt you, make a special effort to be kind to that one.

For example, “My classmate ridicules me.” You can respond with an insult, or you can ignore the remark, and show your classmate that he will not provoke you. “My sister ‘borrowed my shoes without asking me.” You can jerk them away from her and scold her, or you can say, “I’m glad you like my shoes. Let me know when you need them again.”

By all means, pray to God, asking for help to overcome the urge to retaliate and hold resentment against those who may have wronged you. If you allow yourself to be controlled by anger, you are like the hooked fish mentioned earlier. You are allowing someone else to rule you, and wouldn’t you rather be the one in control?

Coping with Sadness

Laura, age 16, commented that she was moody and self-critical and that she often cried herself to sleep at night. The pressures of life had overwhelmed her. What about you, dear reader? Many young people feel unable to deal with what they feel life demands of them. They may feel they are a failure because they don’t seem to measure up to what they think their parents expect of them.

Yes, there are challenges that come with puberty and growing up, but this is a part of life. Some resort to self-harm, or shutting oneself off from the world and just becoming more or less a hermit. But this doesn’t solve the problem. It only makes it worse.

One way to deal with this is to have a serious talk with your parents, or maybe a compassionate teacher, or a mature member of the church you attend. Your feelings are not unique. They have happened to other young people. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). 16-year-old Liliana talked with some older friends from the church she attended, thinking that since they were older than she was, perhaps they could give some wise advice. It worked. Jennifer said that one of the greatest things she did was to know that others really cared for her and that she could talk to them when things were bleak.

And importantly, when you are down in the dumps, don’t forget prayer. “Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken” (Psalm 55:22). God knows about your suffering and difficulties. “Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (I Peter 5:7).

God knows our hearts, and through Him, we can find help — "for God is greater than our heart and knows all things” (I John 3:20).

If your sadness continues, perhaps you have some health problem and might need to have a medical checkup. To ignore the problem would be like turning up the volume on the car radio to drown out the noise coming from the engine. If you have some medical condition, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. That’s part of living in this old world. Take advantage of medical help.

Remember that your emotions are like the fire mentioned at the beginning of this article. If controlled, they can be helpful, but if not controlled, they are dangerous. Keep your emotions under control, and your life will be better.

I find myself lusting and I fear I lack self-control

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 22:29:53 +0000

Question:

Hello sir,

I have sinned. I lusted after a sister and it progressed so much that we kissed. Right now I am so broken. I have asked God for forgiveness but it seems I can't forgive myself.

I have had this dream of being a gospel teacher and an elder. I've been consciously building myself for this but to be honest I think I lack self-control. I've decided to cut off the relationship and withdraw from social life because I feel so bad and hate myself.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I feel ashamed to go and sit with the saint while stained.

What hurts me more is that she is a new convert and I have failed to be an example to her.

I need encouragement. I can't forgive myself.

Answer:

"Forgiveness" is a banking term. It means to release someone from a debt that they owe you. So what debt do you think you owe to yourself?

Sin is a debt to God because God tells us not to sin. "For the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). Thus, God has the right to release us from our debt, but we cannot release ourselves.

"Lust" is a strong desire to break a command of God. Thus, when you say that you are lusting for this woman, you are implying that you want to have sex with her without getting married to her. I don't know if that is what you intended to say or whether you just find yourself strongly attracted to her and call the attraction "lust." It is normal for men and women to find some people attractive. It is the attraction that causes us to be bold enough to talk with another person and get to know them. It becomes wrong when you start letting that attraction lead you into imagining committing sin with someone and justifying the sin to yourself. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).

Kisses can be right or wrong, depending on what is done and with what motives. You are to treat women you are not married to as mothers, aunts, and sisters. Appeal to the older men as fathers, "the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity" (I Timothy 5:1-2). That last phrase is important: "in all purity."

Allow me to assume that you slipped and allowed your mind to go into territories it doesn't belong. It doesn't mean all is lost. It means that you have to recognize that you are a young man with strong desires and you are dealing with a young woman. You can't trust yourself or your body's instincts. Stay far away from compromising situations. Only met her where other people are around.

If you are interested in marrying her, consider how much you actually know about her and whether you believe she will make a good wife. Too many young men get caught up in a woman's looks and forget there are more important things to consider. If you feel she might make a good wife, then talk to her to see if she thinks you might make a good husband.

Possess Your Vessel

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 13 Dec 2022 20:27:42 +0000

by Mike Thomas

The Thessalonians were surrounded by immorality and ungodly influences, but those who became Christians “turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God” (I Thessalonians 1:9). In encouraging them to fulfill this commitment, Paul reminded them of the need to avoid the sexual immorality that was very common in their former ideology. He wrote: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).

It is evident that we are inundated with the same wave of licentious influences that ancient idolaters faced. We may not have heathen temples inviting passersby to participate in the “worship” of fertility deities by laying with temple prostitutes, but we have the same type of influences beckoning us each day to be immoral. With electronic devices that can produce any image we want and literature that corrupts the judgment of unsuspecting readers, we are just as exposed to heathenism as were the Thessalonians, if not more so. Satan is working aggressively to warp the views of sexuality in children, disrupt the unity of the home by corrupting marriages, and plaguing individuals with luring images. Our only hope of remaining free from these influences is to trust in God’s word (and mercy) to overcome this onslaught of lust. The things Paul said to the Thessalonians about possessing our “vessel in sanctification and honor” can be most helpful.

For one thing, this instruction implies it is possible for us to control our sexual desires and physical body. Joseph is a classic example of this possibility. A young man at the peak of his sexual desires was able to resist the continual seduction of a woman who pleaded with him “day by day” to be with her (Genesis 39:7-10). He had to choose between integrity and godliness or passion and lust, yet fortunately, he chose to possess his vessel. This is exactly what happens to us every day on our devices and influences. Potiphar’s wife is pleading with us to yield to forbidden pleasure and flirts with us to compromise our integrity and moral purity. Truthfully, it is the devil who issues these influences. He exposes our children to perverted images in storybooks, cartoons, and video games. He sees to it that our phones and computer monitors have enticing images pop up when we least expect it. He convinces people to walk around in skimpy, seductive attire. Satan is the reason young people are pressured to sacrifice their virginity and is the cause of married people compromising their wedding vows. It is in moments like these that we need the wisdom and character of Joseph to guard against Potiphar’s wife. Peter said it this way, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (I Peter 5:8). The moment we dismiss this warning or believe we are immune to this threat is the moment we set ourselves up for failure. Paul referenced the Israelites who had twenty-three thousand die in one day for yielding to sexual temptations. He then said: “Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (I Corinthians 10:11-12).

The comforting thought in all of this is God is willing to help us if that is our sincere desire. He assures us that the devil will flee from us when we are serious about resisting him (James 4:7), so that should give us hope. Our Creator also assures us that His eyes “are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry” (Psalms 34:15; I Peter 3:12). One of the best ways He helps us is by giving us the strength and wisdom to remain content with our spouse. “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5). Ironically, He makes this promise after emphasizing the sanctity of marriage and the judgment against infidelity. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). Contentment is key for married people. We are to save our sexual desires for our spouse and not share them with anyone else. It is the affection “due” them, so we must not selfishly use them in other ways.

“Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband” (I Corinthians 7:2-3).

When we violate this commitment and selfishly look for other ways to fulfill our desires, we expose ourselves to a world of devastation and hurt. No moment of pleasure is worth the loss of honor, integrity, family, and the beautiful companionship of marriage. Yet no sin is as deceitful and powerful, yet crippling and devastating to families, churches, and society, as that of infidelity and sexual impurity. It brings severely painful consequences to its participants. Instead, God wants us to ask for help in remaining faithful and pure. He will not leave us nor forsake us as we seek to possess our vessel in sanctification and honor. Plus, the threat of eternal punishment should motivate us to look past the lure of sexual temptation and make better choices. Paul warned, “For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:5). Frankly, no sin is worth the flames of hell and eternal separation from God, let alone the highly deceitful lure of sexual persuasion. But that is not always easy to see when Potiphar’s wife is coming after us day after day.

One of my motivations in writing this article is the recent confession of a fellow Christian who lost his family because he yielded to sexual immorality. His days are filled with darkness and tears because the pleasure that looked so promising was nothing but a facade and hoax. Wisdom is crying aloud with examples like these. The threat is real, dear friends, and the price is steep when it comes to sexual impurity. Yet, if like this fellow Christian, we yield to foolishness, let us turn to God for mercy and be fully convinced of His love and willingness to save us. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart; these, O God, You will not despise” (Psalms 51:17). The person who wrote that psalm was recovering from his own fall to sexual temptation, so this is not a sin God has not seen before and one He has not forgiven. He knows who wants to do right and be set free from wickedness. Let us remember that when we stumble into any sin, including this one. God is able to save us to the uttermost because of the blood of Christ and His tremendous love for us. But the best scenario is to avoid failure altogether by praying for wisdom, strength, self-control, and contentment. We will never regret possessing our vessel.