parenting – La Vista Church of Christ

When Your Child Has Doubts

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 21 Aug 2026 15:47:41 +0000

What should you do when your child starts questioning their faith? For many Christian parents, a child expressing doubts can feel scary. But what if those questions aren’t something to shut down—but something to welcome?

In this conversation, Dr. Nathan Ward talks about how Christian parents can respond when their children have doubts, difficult questions, or uncertainty about faith. Rather than panicking or trying to answer everything right away, we explore why parents should create a safe place for their children to think, ask questions, and be honest about what they believe.

He discusses:

Why your child bringing their doubts to you can actually be a sign of trust.
How parents can avoid shutting down difficult questions.
Why asking questions can be part of developing a genuine, personal faith.
How parents can respond when they don't know the answer.
The difference between blind faith and an informed faith.
How parents and children can explore difficult questions together.
Why Christian parents should encourage their children to think deeply about their faith.

If your child is questioning their faith—or you simply want to be better prepared for those conversations—this is an important conversation for Christian parents. The goal isn't to have an answer for every question. It's to create a relationship where your children know they can bring their hardest questions to you.

Empty Pages

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 14 Aug 2026 02:38:58 +0000

by Gilbert Alexander
via Seeking Things Above

When children are born, they are like books full of empty pages. Some have more pages than others, but we don't know how many pages each one has. What we must understand is that we, as parents and elders, are helping write each page in each book. Each page is filled with something -- things trivial and/or things of value. Somebody is going to write those pages. Especially in the early years, someone other than the child will have the predominant place in writing each page. An infant does practically nothing for himself. Someone teaches him how to eat, how to go to sleep, how to sit up, how to drink, and a little later how to talk and walk.

The pages are empty at the start. Like soft clay, children are molded, shaped, and refined in all particulars by those who care for them. Indifference to a child's needs means little will be written that is constructive. If television is the shaper, one should not be surprised by the very undesirable traits that develop. Children have to learn everything except what nature controls, and those things must be refined and controlled. It is far easier to shape a child aright at the first than to reshape to eliminate bad habits and unacceptable behavior. We have very little time to do the writing we can control. Once that time is gone, we have little power to change the product entrusted to our care and shaped by us.

We need to be reminded of just how empty the pages are at the start. Children must learn eating habits, choices of food and drink, to sleep in their own bed, to share, to be patient, to be respectful of others, to obey, to know when and how to use the restroom, to be still and listen, to read and write, to understand danger and what is dangerous, to control desires that are a part of their nature. They must learn about God and origins of all things, about the purpose of life, about pleasing God and revering Him, about God's punishment for the disobedient and His reward for the obedient, about duty how to work, the joy of giving and the value of service to others, the value of prayer and how to pray, how to sing wholeheartedly, the importance of punctuality, the importance of keeping one's word, the high place of honesty and the problems of lying, about proper human relationships, the value of human life, and sexual conduct and purity.

Habits are created by repeated behavior. If something is harmful, children must learn to avoid it. Consistent unpleasant results make the action undesirable. Where we are today is the result of the writing of each page of the book of our lives, and so it will be for those whose books we are helping to write, page by page. Sobering thought, isn't it?

"Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction" (Proverbs 19:18).

"A child left to himself brings shame to his mother" (Proverbs 29:15).

Adolescent Delinquency Linked to Unsupervised Free Time

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 14 Aug 2026 00:46:51 +0000

Source: José Tadeu Arantes, "Unsupervised free time increases the likelihood that adolescents will engage in violent behavior, 21-country study finds," Phys.org, 12 August 2026.

"A study involving more than 58,000 adolescents from 21 countries found that "unstructured free time"—defined as periods without adult supervision or activities guided by educational, cultural or athletic goals—is strongly associated with delinquent behavior and exposure to violence among young people."

"... the concept refers to the time when adolescents decide for themselves what to do without adult supervision or participation in structured activities."

"The analyses showed that the strongest predictor of involvement in crime is association with delinquent peers. However, unstructured free time was a close second as an important cross-cultural explanatory factor. That is, it was relevant in explaining young people's involvement in crime and situations of violence in all the countries surveyed."

"With regard specifically to unstructured online free time, the discussion becomes even more complex. Prolonged exposure to digital environments without mediation can increase exposure to content, groups and opportunities associated with risky behaviors, but it also constitutes a contemporary dimension of youth sociability that can't be reduced solely to a criminogenic factor"

"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother" (Proverbs 29:15 NKJV).

Authenticating One’s Faith

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 08 Aug 2026 19:52:40 +0000

by James P. Needham
via Sentry Magazine, Vol. 22 No. 1, 1996

Should young people go through life accepting what parents and teachers have taught them, or should they, through honest questions and serious study, authenticate their own faith, making it their own? Should we encourage questioning, or resent them, feeling that we are being rejected and our faith denied?

The road of life is quite a complex thing. It has potholes, washed-out bridges, and sharp winding curves. We are born to our parents without the ability to negotiate life’s treacherous pathway, but with the ability to learn how to do so. Our navigational skills depend largely upon the kind of teaching we get and how well we receive it. God obligates parents to care for us until we are able to make it on our own, or to put in modern-day psychological terms, until we become "autonomous adults." Until that time we are totally ruled by the wishes and lifestyles of our parents, teachers, and others. Children reared in cultures much different from ours take on the lifestyles, cultures, and religions of their parents. This happens because children are unable to think or care for themselves. A child can be taught to steal, lie, cheat or be honest and upright. We could take a child from the most uncivilized tribe in the world, bring him to the United States and teach him to be a brain surgeon, a computer whiz, an F-16 pilot, or an astronaut. We see similar things happening all the time. It depends largely upon parents and teachers, and, of course, the acumen of the individual.

What I have said about these material and mental matters can be said to a large degree about religion. A child brought up by Baptist, Methodist, or Catholic parents will very likely adopt those faiths. A child brought up to be an atheist will likely be one. A child brought up in the Lord’s church is most likely to be a Christian. I know there are notable exceptions, but they are exceptions.

Parents and their children reach a crucial point in their relationship when the child approaches the age of autonomy. All of us adults have been there, though we are prone to forget that fact when our children become teenagers! Suddenly the child realizes that his ideas about food, clothing, music, religion, etc. are really not his own, but what has been chosen for him by others. So, he begins to launch out on his own. He begins to dress "funny" by his parents’ standard, listen to a different kind of music, and is tempted to try the things which his parents and teachers have said are taboo. He begins to question some of the tenets he has been taught in religion. He seems to get the most enjoyment from asking his parents tough questions about the Bible, religion, and their values, to which they often can’t give adequate answers. A good deal of this is brought on by his association with peers who were brought up in differing religions, standards, and values. How well parents and children handle this crucial period of life depends largely on how well the parents have done their job from the cradle to this point in life. (Remember, I have said there are notable exceptions to nearly everything I say in this article, but all reasonable readers will see the practicality to what I have said.)

This is very disconcerting to parents. They just don’t know how to deal with it. They become upset and angry. They feel they have failed as parents. They think their children are denying the faith and will reject what they have been taught. We must all admit that this is a tough period, and one that is upsetting to all concerned, and we are anxious to get through it. Often parents are not sufficiently grounded in the scriptures to handle these matters, which only increases the doubts of the children and the consternation of the parents.

There comes a time in most people’s lives when each must authenticate his own faith. Intellectual honesty demands that it can’t always be just what someone else has taught us, accepted without question. Such is not our own faith, but the adoption of someone else’s. We must be able to take the Bible and prove it to ourselves; make it our own. The fact that one’s parents and grandparents have believed this for generations ceases to suffice; one has to know what he believes in religion and why. He has to believe it because he has authenticated it for himself from God's word, and not because it’s what he’s always been taught. The Bible teaches this very clearly. Look at some scriptures:

"Let your speech [be] always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man" (Colossians 4:6).

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [be] ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear" (I Peter 3:15).

"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?" (II Corinthians 13:5).

We must not disparage one’s efforts to authenticate his faith, but rather stand ready to help without being overbearing. We cannot help someone who wants no help, but we must let him/her know that we are ready and willing to help. We should not resent or get overexcited when our teenagers enter the questioning stage. It may be hard for us to accept, but this, really, is a healthy activity.

It is possible for one to authenticate his faith with very little help from others, but this is quite rare. Not many young people today have been well enough grounded in the scriptures to handle alone all the questions that arise at such a critical time. This is where parental failures come into play. We should strive to be the kind of people the young would be comfortable asking for help.

My solution to the problem is Bible study preceded by a willingness to be guided by it. Without that, the whole matter is a waste of time. If one is determined to rebel against what his parents have taught him, and is questioning it because he sees the pain it brings them, then a change of attitude will have to be the first order of business. If hurting parents is the motivation, then nothing parents or others can say will make much difference. With this poor and antagonistic attitude, the discussion gets nowhere, and the more the young people see their questioning pains their parents, the more they will do it. It’s a sadistic attitude where one gets pleasure from causing pain to others. It is a fact that sometimes the only thing we can do is let these young people follow the example of the prodigal son and go into a far country, come to themselves, wind up in a pig pen, and realize how good they had it back home.

Many such young people have experienced the almost limitless forgiveness of parents. Young people often trample underfoot their parents and everything sacred, but once reality sets in, they come to themselves, return home, and are welcomed with open arms and a forgiving heart.

Both parties need to use great caution at this period of life. If it is not handled properly, ugly wounds can be inflicted upon both parties that will leave lifetime scars, make for poor relationships, and damn the souls of some.

I am sure some parents and young people are reading this article at this moment who are going through this crisis period. Some young people reading this are now questioning what their parents have taught them; more by actions than by word of mouth. They are rebelling against the teaching and will of parents; trying to make their own decisions; questioning what their parents have taught them; trying to find themselves, but really not knowing where or how to look, and maybe, going about it in ways that violate the values they have been taught.

Elders, preachers, and Christians in general should be on the lookout for young people who are going through this crisis and show interest and lend a helping hand where possible. We should welcome the young person’s questions with kindness and consideration, and calmly discuss with them the issues they bring up. We should be ready to study with them as long as it takes to settle their questions.

Young people should realize that they can’t solve their problems by not talking about them, and they should not be reluctant to seek help wherever it can be found.

The Stream of Life

by James P. Needham, 14 May 1973

The stream of life is wide and deep;
Its banks are rugged and often steep;
There are harbors of pleasure and peers of pain;
There are ports of spiritual and earthly gain.

Sailing along on the stream of life;
Disillusioned by the hate and strife;
Men who strive for selfish goals
Will wreck their ships on treacherous shoals.

The stream of life is often swift,
Making it dangerous just to drift;
So, guide your ship where you want to go
Or be driven aimlessly to and fro.

Each must sail his ship with care.
Never venturing to take a dare.
For the price of folly is far too great
To hazard life to the irony of fate.

What I Learned from My Daddy

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 11 Jul 2026 19:39:04 +0000

by Bobby Graham
via Biblical Insights, Vol. 14 No. 8, August 2014

As the oldest son of Leon and Mary Graham, I learned much from them. Natural learning occurred daily in life’s laboratory, where God’s Word was stressed, and right living was the natural product of this teaching. I never doubted Daddy’s love, though I confess its ways sometimes appeared difficult for a young boy to appreciate. Much was learned in an environment different from that of today’s youth, but they could profit from some of these lessons. Such lessons are best understood, appreciated, and applied by children when parents work together to teach them.

I learned to work hard and to value work. Work included caring for livestock, plowing with a horse, digging post holes, repairing fences, working in the garden, picking cotton while Don swung on the tree limbs in the shade, and even “digging a hole and filling it up to keep the boys busy when there is nothing else to do.” I can hear Daddy now if he had found one of us standing around with nothing to do but scroll a cell phone or send a text.
I learned to enjoy playing because he played with us and encouraged various kinds of play. I left the stellar performances to my three brothers.
I learned that serving God and doing right to others was the most important way to live. While Daddy was not a perfect man, he tried to be an exemplary leader.
I learned to persist in a good thing. Whatever was worth doing needed to be pursued, not dropped or discarded as worthless.
I learned to hate tobacco and strong drink in a day when drugs were virtually non-existent, but dangers to avoid in college, the Army, and life, but he avoided them.
I learned how to treat parents because he always cared for his parents. He was preparing me to care for Mother and him in the later years.
I learned how to be generous in giving to the Lord’s work. I well remember his and mother’s decision when I was under ten years old to increase their contribution at the Poplar Street church, because he thought they needed to give more.
I also learned to be honest in handling what was not mine. Because he served as treasurer at Poplar Street, we counted money on the coffee table at home on many Sunday nights. It was important that we handle that money scrupulously because it was not ours.
I learned by observing Daddy that an elder was more than a figurehead - he must teach, refute, warn, and urge saints to do right, never content to leave such to the preacher.
I learned to care for the needy.
Different times in life, he handed his widowed sisters money they might need or asked Mother to write them checks to help in tough times. Orphans and others were sometimes the objects of his help. He had learned this from his own parents, who took in two cousins whose parents had died, making 13 children living with them on Cedar Creek.
I learned to save money and anything else you might later need, like a nail or a screw you found. He grew up in difficult circumstances, saving and reusing whatever he had or found that he could use. When cleaning out his house a couple of years ago, I thought we would never reach the end, partly because of all he had saved.
I learned much about the family in earlier days, motivating my family tree work.
Another lesson I learned was to teach people what they needed to know, not necessarily what they wanted to hear, but to do so kindly. With that lesson in mind, I urge all to examine their lives in light of the gospel and make the needed changes to become a Christian or to follow Him more closely. Faith in Jesus as divine means trusting His teaching to obey. No one is a Christian just because of American citizenship, family legacy, or personal preference.
I learned to enjoy spiritual songs. Daddy sang most of his life. He enjoyed going to congregational singings and singing at home when family came, as well as at Columbia Cottage and Mitchell-Hollingsworth. Only during his declining days at Tut Fann did I never hear him sing or hear about his singing.
Finally, I learned to stay married because God desires it. America fails to honor God this way, but my parents stayed married. They were spiritual examples.

Yes, I learned many things from Daddy that are not mentioned in this list. Some were more important than others, but all were valuable. Some of it pertained to this life, but some to the life to come. Our world needs to listen to what Daddy taught me. Thank you, Daddy, for teaching me.

When Your Children Leave Home

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 15:57:27 +0000

by Brandy L. Pack

Some of my friends’ children are becoming independent, moving out, or getting married. They asked me for help dealing with this transition. It was a question that caught me off guard a little. I have three faithful children, and two of them are living independent lives. I also have two children who have walked away from God altogether. I don’t have it all figured out, and I’m definitely still working through it. But here is what I told my friend. Maybe it will be of some small help to someone.

All I can tell you is what I feel like I’ve learned about myself. It may not help you or apply to you at all. I will admit that the season of becoming an empty nester can be both painful and joyful. I’m not going to pretend I have it all figured out.

I think what I would tell anyone is that it’s alright to grieve the season that’s gone, but also remember that motherhood is always meant to be a stewardship, not the foundation of your identity. This is something I learned the hard way.

Your children are a gift God gave you to love, nurture, and bring up in the admonition of the Lord. But they were never meant to be the thing that defines you. You and your children are separate people with separate character and separate souls.

Someone may say, “You should be happy for them,” whenever your child moves into their own place, gets married, and starts a family. While it is a beautiful thing and probably one of your end goals for them, don’t feel guilty about being sad about it. Joy and grief can exist together. Your daily routine will change. Your conversations will change, but the feeling of being needed in certain ways doesn’t go away. Grieving for them doesn’t mean you are not proud of your faithful children or that you don’t trust them or God. It means you loved them deeply. Still, you have to allow God’s plans to move forward.

When I became a mother, I took my responsibility as a Christian mother very seriously, but I’ve since realized that I made being a good mama the measure of whether I was a good Christian. I have learned, and I’m still learning, that my children’s choices as adults are ultimately between them and God. My responsibility has always been my faithfulness, not control. Oh, how I wanted to be and stay in control! That desire became detrimental to me. I had to learn that I can’t manufacture any other person’s relationship with God.

It’s scary to figure out who you are when no one needs you the way young children do. You’ve spent years doing that, and now you are needed in a different way. So who are you now? It’s scary and feels like a deep pit in your stomach. I think it can also be a new adventure. Like an invitation to somewhere exciting you’ve heard about but never been to before.

For years, mothers are constantly pouring out of themselves, amazingly from near-empty places even, so that when children become independent, the silence doesn’t feel normal. You can learn to let that silence be a place of comfort.

Think about what talents God has given you that you haven’t had time to develop before. How can you serve others now that you weren’t able to do before? What can you do to make your home a place your children think of fondly and love coming back to?

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I should have spent more time building my identity in Christ, not in motherhood, because when motherhood changed, I felt lost. I’ve learned that I really was, and still am, a daughter of God, heir of salvation, purchased by Christ’s perfect blood. I just happened to have been raising children for a season.

Now I have to serve God in this season. Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalms 127:3-4). God gave them to me to care for. Their value is far above any earthly treasure. But they are not mine to possess forever.

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

God helped me learn that my children were never meant to be my identity. They were meant to be a part of my obedience. I’m still figuring out what being a faithful servant looks like in this season. One day, this season will change too, and I’ll have to figure it out again.

Parental Sex Education

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 13:36:37 +0000

by Matthew Bassford
via Truth Magazine, 9 September 2016

A few weeks ago, my family and I were on the way home from Wednesday night Bible study when the topic of conversation turned to pregnancy. Marky was being his usual loopy two-hours-past-bedtime self and asked, “When will Mr. Josh get a baby in his belly?”

My wife answered, “Boys don’t get babies in their bellies.”

To this, Zoë replied, “But boys help with babies with their sperm cells.” Bear in mind that Zoë is five. As Lauren reached out and grabbed my arm hard, I inquired about the source of this unexpected knowledge. It turned out that Zoë had been reading her Usborne encyclopedia of the human body, and it, well, enlightened her about it. I explained to her that she was precisely correct and that it was good to talk about such things with family, but not with other people. Since then, we’ve had a couple of similar conversations, most notably about test-tube babies.

I admit I wasn’t expecting the subject to come up in 2015, but I was expecting it to. Sooner or later, nearly all children are going to get curious and ask their parents about some sex-related subject. Many Christian parents live in fear of that day, and when it arrives, their first inclination is to shut down the conversation so hard that it never comes up again.

As much as we prefer such a response, it’s simply not a godly reaction. Unbelievers will frequently accuse Christians of having all kinds of hangups about sex. We’d all be much happier, they say, if we stopped following the outmoded sexual ethics of the Bible.

The actual problem, though, is not the Bible. It’s the neo-Victorian prudery that has led countless Christians to confuse “sexual immorality is bad” with “sex is bad” and conclude, “Since sex is bad, we shouldn’t talk about it.” Instead, such Christians spend all their time outside the marriage bed pretending that the act that made all of us doesn’t exist.

This attitude toward sex would have been impossible in the rural societies of Bible times. Any child who grows up on a farm will see cattle, chickens, and horses copulating hundreds of times. In that setting, pretending that sex doesn’t exist is about like pretending that the sky doesn’t exist.

The authors of the Bible don’t even attempt such a pretense. The Scripture is never vulgar, but in the Old Testament, it is often quite explicit. Texts such as Genesis 1:28 emphasize the procreative function of sex, but other passages highlight the importance of sexual pleasure in marriage. Song of Solomon explores the sexual yearnings of both men (Song of Solomon 7:7-8) and women (Song of Solomon 5:15-16). God’s message is never that nice girls don’t. It is when the time is right, nice girls do, and do enthusiastically.

We see both halves of Biblical sexuality displayed in Proverbs 5:15-23. This passage combines the familiar Biblical condemnation of adultery with an unequivocal endorsement of sexual fulfillment in marriage. Solomon could hardly have been clearer than when he writes, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated with her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19 NASB). Note that in context, Solomon is addressing his son. This is the way that God thinks parents should teach children about sex.

Throughout Scripture, in both the New and Old Testaments, sex is presented as a positive good. There are many warnings about sexual immorality, but that doesn’t make the Bible anti-sex, any more than a stop sign is anti-driving. In both cases, the goal is to protect and enhance an activity, not to prohibit it. Too often, though, the message that Christian parents send to their children is “Not this,” rather than the Scriptural “This!” Any discussion of the issue beyond “Don’t” doesn’t happen.

This poses a serious problem for those children. Whether we want to believe it or not, the vast majority of our children are one day going to become sexual beings. They will have sexual curiosity. They will have sexual impulses. If we don’t satisfy that curiosity and teach our children how to channel those impulses, we are doing nothing less than surrendering the initiative to the devil. We might not have a plan for how we want to handle our children’s sexuality, but Satan certainly does! He will gladly use TV, the Internet, and peers to teach our children a corrupt, ungodly view of sex, and this process begins much earlier than we would prefer to believe. If you find yourself wondering if this includes your children, the answer is almost certainly “Yes.”

Sometimes, the devil’s handiwork reveals itself in children rebelling against parental teaching. In a society as sexually saturated as ours is (funny how nobody seems satisfied with it, though!), appeals to lust and sexual immorality are never far away. Many children of godly parents succumb to them.

More subtly, the devil is capable of working his will in children (usually young women) who internalize their parents’ negative message about sex. It’s not hard to imagine a girl who grows up hearing that sex is dirty and evil, accepts that, and does a wonderful job of avoiding sexual sin until she gets married. What’s going to happen, though, when she says her vows and discovers that something she believes is dirty and evil is now part of her divinely ordained obligations to her husband? That’s the kind of thing that can mar a marriage for decades.

As the saying goes, failure to plan is planning to fail. We’re responsible for bringing up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. If we neglect to declare the whole counsel of God to our children in an area as important as their sexuality, we’re actually neglecting our responsibility to God.

Rather than surrendering the initiative to the devil, we need to seize it and hold on to it. We should adopt God’s goals for our children’s sexuality and work to achieve those goals through the presentation of Scripture and the application of Scriptural principles. This is certainly a private, delicate matter, and we should handle it privately and delicately, but we should never allow our desire for privacy to become an excuse for fear.

I don’t enjoy talking about test-tube babies with my five-year-old daughter, exactly. I don’t exactly look forward to the considerably more explicit conversations I imagine I’ll have with my son. However, I want to have those conversations because I want to be the source that teaches them about sex. They’re going to learn from somebody, and I’d rather have that somebody be me than anybody else.

How do I deal with my daughter asking questions about homosexuality?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 01:19:49 +0000

Question:

Hi Jeff,

Over the last few months, the topic of homosexuality has come up between my twins, who are almost 12 years old. They are male and female twins. My daughter has asked questions about homosexuality. She says that some of her friends claim that they are "gay" and hold hands in school. I've had a casual conversation about how she can discuss with them how God thinks it's wrong. I also explained that their parents might not teach them, and they may just be trying to be trendy with today's world views. I didn't go too deep into the conversation, but we talked about what God says about homosexuality, and I told her that it is a choice to engage in things like that.

The other day, my son, in a joking tone, said something to her like, "Well, aren't you gay?" Mean, I know, and I told him not to joke like that, but I keep an eye on their Internet use. I saw that she is looking up content on lesbian and gay material. There are blocks on certain sites, but there always seems to be a workaround that allows them to still access them.

My question is, how should I approach a conversation about this, as I think she feels she is interested in other girls? It may be due to peer pressure from friends, general attraction, or something else, but I wish to teach her the importance of this. Is she possibly just going through "changes" in her life, sorting out new feelings, and learning how to deal with them? Should I address it now or wait until later? I have no problem with addressing the issue, but I am curious about how my wife or I should approach something like this, given that she is so young.

Thanks.

Answer:

For a girl, she is not "so young." On average, girls begin puberty about a year before boys do. The average time to begin changing for girls is 10 to 11 years old. Thus, it is time for you or your wife, or both of you, to sit down and start teaching her about what God has said about sex. You can use the material I've written (Growing Up in the Lord for Teenage Girls) or material from some other author. Just make sure that the topics are thoroughly covered with plenty of scripture citations to back up the points. Essentially, this sort of problem is best dealt with through information. Don't approach it by telling her what she must believe; rather, guide her in discovering what God said on the matter and why God is right. It takes the excitement and mystique out of the topic. Putting off discussing these matters will only make her interest in the subject a habit over time.

For a boy, the average time to begin changing is 11-12 years old. Typically, boys are curious about the subject of sex, but don't show a strong interest until they reach the time they start having ejaculations. Thus, you may have a few more years before you need to have discussions with your son. However, it wouldn't hurt to have a "light" discussion with him now, and to review and dig deeper into the topic when he gets older.

Response:

Jeffrey,

Thank you for the quick response and information. I've always enjoyed your answers, and your scriptural knowledge is so encouraging. May God continue to bless you and the work that you do.

Whither Our Children

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 18:50:55 +0000

by Gary Henry
via WordPoints.com

"And I will take every care so that you may have a clear memory of these things after my death" (II Peter 1:15 BBE).

In regard to the principle of restoration, what about our legacy? If we believe the principle is valid, will we teach our children its importance — or will we remain silent and hope they’ll somehow pick it up on their own? When they feel the powerful pull of denominational “Christianity,” will they take a strong stand for “the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3)?

Like Peter, I want people to “have a clear memory of these things after my death” (II Peter 1:15). While I’m still living, I want to emphasize holding fast to the apostolic faith and leave my words ringing in the ears of all whom I have taught. And when the time comes for the faith of my kids and grandkids to be tested, I want them to remember the things Grandpa Gary warned them to watch out for. If they leave the Lord, I don’t want it to be because I never spelled out the stark alternatives they would be faced with.

No matter how effectively any of us teach, there is no guarantee that those whom we teach will remain faithful to Christ. With unspeakable sorrow, I call to mind the godly parents I know who have seen some of their children take the path of apostasy. The fact is, we can’t make our children’s choices for them. All we can do is teach them and warn them, as the apostles did for their hearers in the first century. If we’re not doing that, we need to get started.

So, in case you haven’t noticed, I am a restorer. I am unbowed in my belief that until the Lord returns, the church must imitate the plan revealed by Him to the apostles in the first century. We must be diligent in learning the Lord’s will from the Scriptures and patient with others who are also learning. But nail this down: there is a huge difference between the Lord’s church and the churches of men, and I want my children to know that I make that distinction. I hope they’ll join me in the restoration quest — and never cease being restorers themselves.

"To be a restorer has always meant to be an explorer in search of Zion, bound to grope in our own human and cultural maze, never finishing our task, but ever learning through struggle and commitment to the truth. But I have never been alone; God has provided others of like mind to be my fellow travelers. It has been a rigorous journey, but I know existentially no other way. The search has served me well, and should you come to look for me, you will find me a bit further down the same road" (David Edwin Harrell, Jr.).

You Can Be Hurt in the Church—and Still Raise Faithful Children

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 17 Jan 2026 20:05:46 +0000

by Brad Harrub, Ph.D.

There are few pains more confusing than being wounded by people who wear the name of Christ.

Many parents have sat in pews with a knot in their stomach—betrayed by leadership, ignored in suffering, judged unfairly, or damaged by hypocrisy. Some have endured church splits, public shaming, mishandled discipline, gossip, or spiritual neglect. The pain is real. The confusion is real. And pretending it doesn’t exist only deepens the wound.

I know—because my family has lived it. We know firsthand how it feels to have people spread false rumors about you. We know what it feels like when elders refuse to follow Scripture or to lead properly. We know what it’s like to go through a traumatic situation. We know what it’s like to be treated unfairly by church members.

But here is the truth that must be spoken clearly—you can go through deep hurt in the church and still raise children who love the Lord, trust His Word, and remain faithful. We know because my wife and I raised four exceptionally faithful kids who watched us go through some very bad situations.

So the question is, how do you prepare them to brace themselves for a storm?

The Church Is Made of People—Christ Is Perfect

One of the most important lessons a parent can teach is the difference between Jesus and those who claim to follow Him.

Scripture never sugarcoats the reality that God’s people fail.

David was betrayed by close companions (Psalms 41:9).
Joseph was sold by his own brothers (Genesis 37).
Paul was abandoned by fellow laborers (II Timothy 4:16).
Jesus was betrayed by one of the twelve (Matthew 26:14–16).

Yet none of these walked away from God because people failed them.

Parents who help their children see this distinction—without excuses and without bitterness—lay a foundation for durable faith. Christ remains perfect even when His people are not.

What Matters Most Is How Your Children See You Handle It

The crucial issue is not whether your children know you were hurt. The crucial issue is how they watch you respond.

Children are always taking notes. Usually, mental notes.

They observe whether parents become cynical or prayerful. Whether they speak with restraint or with rage. Whether disappointment drives them away from God—or deeper into His Word. They watch if parents frame the situation as “our family versus the church.” Remember, the church belongs to Christ—it is always good, even if the body inside has problems.

David said, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord” (Psalms 27:13). Children need to see parents who refuse to lose heart—even when circumstances would justify it.

If church hurt leads to constant complaining, sarcasm about Christians, or open disdain for the church, children quietly learn that faith is fragile and conditional.

But when parents handle pain with humility, truth, and an unwavering love for God, children learn something powerful: God is worthy even when situations are hard.

Let Your Love for God Remain Evident

One of the greatest dangers after church hurt is letting that experience slowly erode visible devotion. It is very easy to skip some services or fellowship activities if those who hurt you will be present. Attend anyway!! God is worthy.

Parents who forget this may still “believe,” but prayer fades. Bible reading diminishes. Worship becomes optional. And children notice the shift long before parents do.

The command to parents found in Deuteronomy 6 is not conditional on whether things are going smoothly. The text says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words… shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

Children must see that pain does not steal affection for God.

That does not mean pretending everything is fine. It means letting children see that God is still trusted, still obeyed, still loved—even when circumstances disappoint.

Anchor Their Faith in Scripture, Not Personalities

After church conflict, there is a temptation to center the conversation on people—what someone said, what leadership did wrong, who failed. Or maybe a preacher you loved was let go, and you don’t understand why.

Here’s something to remember—faith cannot survive if it is built on personalities. Paul warned against this very danger: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase… so then neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but God” (I Corinthians 3:6–7).

Parents must intentionally redirect their homes toward Scripture—daily reading, open discussions, honest questions, and careful application. Children must learn that God’s Word remains steady even when people wobble.

Model Forgiveness Without Excusing Sin

Finally, and this may be hard for some of you…you need to forgive and keep growing. Forgiveness is not denial. It is not a weakness. It is obedience. Paul wrote, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
When children see parents forgive—without minimizing wrongdoing—they learn that justice belongs to God (Romans 12:19), and bitterness does not have to rule the heart.

Because here’s the dirty little truth no one talks about. If your children watch you go through a church issue and not forgive, then they will likely do the same years later with even a weaker faith.

Faith Is Often Strengthened Through Difficulty

So I want to encourage parents—you can go through church issues and still raise faithful children. Oftentimes, faith that survives disappointment is stronger than one that has never tested.

When parents remain faithful despite hardship, children see faith that is real—not shallow, not dependent on comfort, but anchored in truth.

If you have been hurt in the church, your pain is real. But your children are watching.

Let them see a faith that endures.
A love for God that does not fade.
A response that honors Christ—even when others did not.

Your response today may be the very thing that anchors your children’s faith tomorrow.