marriage – La Vista Church of Christ

Will God condemn us for marrying in a Hindu temple?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 03 Jun 2026 02:23:59 +0000

Question:

Hello sir

Will God forgive me if I was married in a Hindu temple? I have already been married in a Hindu temple due to certain circumstances. My wife suddenly left her house against her parents' wishes. According to the law here, we would have had to wait 30 days for a court marriage, so we married in a temple, as our certificates say we are Hindus. We needed to get a Hindu marriage certificate first. Will God forgive us? Will a curse come upon our children?

Answer:

In I Corinthians 7:12-16, Paul deals with Christians who have married non-Christians. I'm sure some were married before one of them became a Christian. Yet, Paul doesn't tell them to get married again. Instead, he argues that the marriage is legitimate. "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy" (I Corinthians 7:14).

Marriage is a command by God, but it is not a function of the church. This is why civil marriages are equal to weddings performed by Gospel preachers. But this also means that marriages performed in idol temples are legitimate -- not because of where they were performed, but because they fulfill God's requirement.

If it makes you feel more comfortable, have a second wedding with a Christian officiant.

What is the condemnation in I Timothy 5:11-12?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 18 May 2026 01:38:02 +0000

Question:

Mr. Hamilton,

Do you by chance know what I Timothy 5:11-12 fully means in its context? I was wondering because it has something to do with promises. I was talking to someone about these verses, though, and we weren’t sure what is meant by “incurring condemnation” in this instance. Would it have been wrong for the women to remarry? And if they did, would they have had to divorce their new husbands to be right with God? I know this is kind of complicated, and I know you would probably say that their pledge is much more serious since it was to the church and would have several witnesses (if my understanding is correct). I was just wondering if you could provide any clarity on this.

Answer:

If a woman’s husband dies, she is free to marry another (Romans 7:2-3). In I Timothy 5:11-15, Paul urged younger widows to remarry. In I Corinthians 7:39-40, Paul states that widows can remarry, but he does not give blanket approval to any marriage. The marriage must be in accordance with the Lord’s will. The one she is marrying must have the right to be married (Matthew 19:9), and the marriage must not hinder her service to God (Matthew 6:33). This also matches Paul’s concern in I Timothy 5:11-12 over the possibility that younger widows, in their eagerness to remarry, may cast off their faith.

The problem was that young widows had too much time on their hands (I Timothy 5:13) and were getting involved in gossip. Since they were young, they would still desire the pleasures in this world (I Timothy 5:11), which might pull them away from their faith (I Timothy 5:9). Rather than have a potential cause for scandal, they should marry "and give the enemy no occasion for reproach" (I Timothy 5:14). All of this explains why widows younger than 60 or who have family are not put on the list for care by the church.

Our commitment to the Lord when we become Christians is the most logical pledge ("first faith") Paul refers to. However, some commentators assume that the churches provided aid to widows in exchange for a pledge to serve the church. The problem is that this is an assumption that can't be proven from the Scriptures. Besides, the Greek text literally says "the first faith."

Nothing says that the marriage has to end. It is the leaving of the faith that must be corrected.

Can you remarry if your spouse abandons you?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 06 May 2026 20:03:03 +0000

Question:

Good Day,

Is it true that someone can remarry if it is for abandonment of the marriage? Some pastors are saying you can remarry.

Answer:

The general rule is, "But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife" (I Corinthians 7:10-11).

If a person leaves for reasons other than fornication (Matthew 19:9), then neither has the right to another marriage. Their only options are to remain unmarried or to reconcile with their former spouse.

What if one is a non-believer and doesn't want to remain in the marriage? A person who isn't a Christian isn't motivated to keep the laws of God.

While true, the non-Christian will still be held accountable by God regarding His statutes. It is man's duty to keep God's commandments (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). Even the lost must give an account of their actions (I Peter 4:4-6; John 12:48). Thus, non-Christians are accountable to Christ's marriage laws.

Some will object, pointing out that Paul said, "A brother or sister is not under bondage" (I Corinthians 7:15). The word "bondage" means slavery. Marriage is never viewed as a form of slavery in the Bible. In fact, a subtlety is lacking in our English translations that is present in the Greek. When Paul said, "not under bondage" or "is not in slavery," the phrase is in the perfect indicative tense in Greek. That tense is used to state something that was completed in the past and continues to impact the present. In other words, Paul said the brother or sister didn't become a slave in the past when he or she married, and so does not have to act as a slave presently. Since marriage is not a form of slavery, a Christian is not forced to keep a marriage going when the non-Christian wants to leave. To do so would cause discord, but God called us to peace.

However, this doesn't imply that the Christian whose non-believing spouse abandons the marriage has the right to remarry. The general rule found in I Corinthians 7:10-11 still remains.

Response:

Thanks, minister.

Four Biblical Purposes of Marriage

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 05 May 2026 17:32:16 +0000

by David Gibson

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22 NASB).

Why marry?

The Bible offers two options: 1) being married or 2) remaining single. Each has its own advantages (I Corinthians 7). Whether to marry is an individual decision.

Peter, for example, was married; Paul was not. There’s a place for both in God’s kingdom. But if we choose to marry, we need to understand God’s purposes for the marriage relationship.

Purpose #1: Procreation

“Behold, children are a gift of the LORD . . .” (Psalm 127:3).

The sexual union as God made it is good (Genesis 1:27-28, 31). He created sex to be enjoyed by a husband and wife within the covenant of marriage.

No other sexual relationship has His blessing (Hebrews 13:4).

Purpose #2: Companionship

Before God formed Eve, He said of Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). And He did!

God made males and females different from one another biologically, emotionally, etc. Each brings something unique to the relationship.

Purpose #3: Nurturing Children

Although many single moms and dads are wonderful parents, children thrive best when they have two parents who model and teach God’s word (Proverbs 6:20). Both boys and girls need the complementary, synergistic male/female influence of both parents.

Purpose #4: Avoiding Temptation

Paul distinguishes between those who have a gift for remaining single and those who would do better to marry (I Corinthians 7:7-9).

“... because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband” (I Corinthains 7:2).

A couple should not deprive one another of intercourse, “except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (I Corinthians 7:3-5).

Since God designed intercourse exclusively for marriage, it serves as the only legitimate means of satisfying sexual desires. Therefore, the frequency of intercourse helps prevent immorality.

God’s Plan

When we honor and observe God’s design for marriage, we will be blessed. God truly wants us to enjoy happy, lasting marriages. And we can. He has told us how.

Making It Legal

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:50:08 +0000

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Making-It-Legal.mp3

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by Brent Paschall

Draw Near to God

Discriminating Against Biblical Marriage

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 14:00:47 +0000

by Michael R. Baggett

Would you have thought 20, 30, or 40 years ago we would live to see the day when Biblical marriage would be discriminated against? Biblical marriage is treated like just one kind of relationship in our society. In some cases, it is not recognized at all. What I saw today while filling out a medical form was very offensive.

I was filling out a medical form online and was asked who to contact in case of an emergency. I followed the prompt to the next page, which gave me the choices of father, mother, uncle, aunt, etc., but guess who was missing? Husband and wife were not even on the list! Guess what was on the list? Significant other. I suppose the terms husband and wife have been sacrificed to not offend those living together or those living in the gay and lesbian lifestyle! Doesn’t anyone care that those living in Biblical marriages might be offended by being left out?

Jesus pointed back to Genesis when discussing marriage. Jesus did not refer to them as significant others when looking back on the first marriage; Jesus called them male and female (Matthew 19:4). The first marriage introduced God’s first sacred institution, the home (Genesis 2:21-25). The married man, called a husband, and the married woman, called a wife, are to cling to one another in the bond of holy matrimony that God joined together, and they dare not ever put it asunder or separate! (Matthew 19:6).

God hates divorce! (Malachi 2:16). Before discussing remarriage, it must be clearly understood that God hates divorce itself. Is there any wonder why Jesus would enjoin such a strict code on those who would enter a second marriage? (Matthew 5:32; 19:9).
Can everybody who gets divorced remarry? The answer depends on what Country you live in and who you ask, right? Ask the average Joe or Jane, and they will justify most anyone’s remarriage. After all, we must be happy, right? If a husband or wife is not as fun as they used to be, just find someone else, divorce the old spouse, and enter another marriage and live happily ever after.

Wrong!

More that 67% of all second marriages fail, and a staggering 74% of third marriages fail, according to Sharon Pope ("3 Reasons Why so Many Second and Third Marriages Fail", February 5th, 2026). According to this article, many enter another marriage without having learned their own self-destructive patterns, which they bring to the new marriage. For instance, the pattern of looking for new icing on the cake once a marriage cools off. The unfaithful will be unfaithful. Secondly, many old unhealed wounds are often brought into new relationships, which can sabotage the new marriage. Marrying on the rebound can be dangerous. Divorce is often a symptom of a deeper problem within an individual who is never content. Often, these people merely “close one wound and open another.”

What divorce does to people is cruel. The promise “For better or worse, till death do us part” gets broken, and people die inside. Some men, women, and children never really get over the Trauma. Now, not only is the most special vow broken to one another, but to God, who is a witness and party in the covenant of marriage! That’s right; marriage is not merely a contract; it is a covenant.

“Yet, ye say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the LORD God of Israel says that ‘He hates divorce...’” (Malachi 2:14-16 NKJV).

Like any sin, divorce hurts God! The husband is hurt by the divorce. The wife is hurt by the divorce. Children are hurt by divorce. Why? Because it is against natural law. It is against God’s law. God in His wisdom created the man and the woman for one another, for companionship, happiness, and to populate the earth. Humans are distinct from dogs or animals. We have codes of conduct in the Word of God, and those codes do not change. Marriage forms the foundation of any society. As goes the home, so goes the church and the country. When selfishness replaces God’s wisdom, the home is shattered; the building blocks of a society come tumbling down one divorce at a time.

Jesus warns, “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matthew 19:9, KJV).

If you ask Jesus about the importance of stable homes and the effects of divorce on souls, His answer is clear, concise, and concrete. It is such a sad situation when many destroy their lives and souls, having never learned the law of Christ on marriage, divorce, and remarriage – and to take it seriously!

The relationships that involve only “significant others” exist outside of God’s will. The marriage between a man and a woman –a husband and a wife – is so sacred that God hates divorce itself, and Jesus only allows remarriage for the innocent party where a fornicating spouse is divorced because of fornication. God is more offended than I am when manmade medical forms leave off the husband and wife because someone living in a sinful arrangement might be offended!

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).

Friends, the Bible doesn’t say, “God might judge,” the Bible says, “God will judge.”

“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God” (Hebrews 10:31).

The Elephant in the Room (Harrub)

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 16:31:02 +0000

by Brad Harrub, Ph.D.

Within our society, there is a tendency to measure success using a secular material yardstick. We identify one another by jobs (e.g., “Oh, he’s a pharmacist”), neighborhoods (e.g., “Oh, they live in Woodbury Estates”), bank accounts (e.g., “Oh, we just purchased a beach house in Destin”), and even looks (e.g., “Oh, I wonder if she has had cosmetic surgery”). This tendency has tentacles that even reach well into the Church. Many Christians measure success by worldly standards rather than by spiritual ones.

Thus, it is not uncommon for me to have a conversation with someone and learn all about where their child went to school and the high-paying career he/she is now pursuing—but when asked about what congregation he attends, an awkward silence occasionally follows. I have been told by elders, preachers, deacons, and numerous Christians “career successes” about their children, only to later learn in the conversation that the children are no longer faithful. Oftentimes the question is answered in this fashion: “Well, she married a really nice person, but he wasn’t a Christian. Now they attend the _________ denomination,” or “well, they don’t attend anywhere right now.”

Friends, our children are leaving the New Testament church in droves, and we sit idly by, celebrating their new homes, new cars, and new wives. Does it not occur to you that those cars, homes, and fancy jobs will one day burn up? What good will these be in eternity?

In Deuteronomy 7:3-4, we find God warning the Israelites not to allow their children to marry into these idolatrous nations—and yet we justify parading our children up the aisle to marry a non-Christian because the future spouse is nice and “successful.” At what point will parents and elders address the enormous elephant that sits in the church auditorium? Our children are embracing other religions.

One of the side effects of this is that many New Testament Christians now quietly recognize denominations as “Christians” rather than identifying their own children as lost. We have relaxed our definition of Christian, and we silently (or maybe not so silently) believe that they are either saved or at least safe. As a result, we have forgotten the uniqueness of the one true Church.

In Nehemiah 13, we read one of the saddest passages of Scripture in all of God’s Word:

"In those days, I also saw Jews who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, and could not speak the language of Judah, but spoke according to the language of one or the other people. So I contended with them and cursed them, struck some of them and pulled out their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, 'You shall not give your daughters as wives to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons or yourselves'” (Nehemiah 13:23-25).

These were children who could not even speak the language of Jehovah God. As we analyze our current situation, it becomes painfully clear that this apostasy did not end in Nehemiah’s day.

God warned and commanded His chosen people -- the Israelites about marrying those who are not faithful to Him. Today, we are His chosen people.

Commenting on this passage, The Interpreter’s Bible noted, “Entering what was said to be the land of their fathers, the Israelites yet found themselves surrounded by polytheism. Inevitably, they intermarried with the inhabitants of the land. Just as inevitably, they came to worship local gods” (Wright, 1953, p. 378).

It is long past time we address, encourage, and influence our children to select spouses who can help them reach the goal of Heaven. It is time we as parents recognize that while career success is nice, it pales in comparison to spiritual success. It is time for elders and preachers to teach these truths from the pulpit without fear of hurting families. It is time we protect our sons and daughters from false religions and teach them how to identify the true church in the Bible!

Life Has No Guarantees

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 08 Mar 2026 01:04:50 +0000

by Doy Moyer

I follow a few pages and sites for those with Parkinson’s and their caregivers (usually a spouse). One of the things I’ve been impressed with (for the good) is the commitment that so many spouses have. It’s not easy for them, and they know this is a “rest of life” matter that they will not run from. Most just do what they know they must without complaining. For husbands and wives, this emphasizes the “for better or worse” part of their vows. It’s beautiful to see.

Sadly, I’ve also been impressed by the reality that there are those who refuse to care for a partner with special needs. With heartbreaking amazement, I’ve seen some talk about how much they hate what they have to do and are ready to leave. Some complain about how unfair it is that they are saddled with responsibilities they never intended to sign up for. This is so hard to see.

Marriages, over time, are filled with difficulties and trials. No one knows exactly what will happen in their future, but when we marry, we are indeed agreeing to the commitment it takes to care for one another, regardless of what may come with age and health. As we age, we are almost certainly going to face challenging times. One spouse may be tasked with responsibilities that could not have been anticipated, but when that time comes, there is no doubt about the commitment to do whatever is necessary for the other.

I have been blessed with such a spouse who, despite “me,” outdoes herself daily. I have a disease that will progress as I age, but in reality, we all are marching to the tune of deterioration with age (see Ecclesiastes). We know there are no guarantees of time. May I then offer this to those who are married or are thinking of marrying: you are agreeing to a commitment that may take you places you never thought about when, in your youth, you felt healthy and energetic. Take “for better or worse” seriously, and let your spouse know that when the difficulties arise, as they surely will, there will be no question about being able to lean on each other.

This has been my greatest source of comfort, and I thank God for it.

Is marriage the business of the church or the family?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 25 Jan 2026 21:53:50 +0000

Question:

Hello Minister,

I hope you are doing well. I have a few issues I would like some clarification on.

Is marriage primarily the business of the church or the family? In many African contexts, the acceptance of a bride price by the woman’s family during a formal occasion is a prerequisite for marriage. After this, couples may choose to have a civil wedding or not. However, in many churches, there is significant involvement, including compulsory counselling sessions, coordination with families regarding wedding dates, and sometimes the requirement that the couple be announced during church services and brought forward for prayers after the ceremony. What is your perspective on this?
With respect to dressing both in church and outside the church, what is considered acceptable? I have noticed that discussions often focus mainly on how people dress when going to church. Additionally, what hairstyles are acceptable in church or for a Christian generally? For men, are braids, dreadlocks, short hair, or clean-cut hair acceptable? For women, what about wearing wigs—especially when some have short hair and use wigs to represent long hair, and sometimes even blonde hair?
In I Corinthians 11:14–15, Scripture says, “Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory?” Should this be understood as a cultural consideration of that time, or as a universal standard for Christians everywhere? Could the passage have a deeper meaning beyond a literal discussion about hair?
I believe that the Christian life is an everyday commitment, not something limited to church services, and that our lives should serve as examples to others. What is your perspective on this?
Do you have any resources on Christianity and culture? Does culture have any influence on Christianity?

Thanks.

Answer:

"So we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God" (II Peter 1:19-21).

Your questions, intentional or not, show an attitude that it is men who define religion and the traditions that accompany it. However, the Bible is the product of the Creator of our universe. It was given to us to guide us in righteous living. "Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust" (II Peter 1:2-4). What God has given to us is not limited to the worship services of the church. He taught us everything pertaining to life.

Christians influence culture, but culture should not define how Christians live and worship. See:

Marriage existed long before the church, so the church does not define it. It started when Eve was created and brought to Adam. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 1:24). Thus, family doesn't define marriage either. Jesus said that God is the one who joins a man and a woman. "And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made the male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6).

Your culture has a tradition of giving a dowry (a bride price). There is nothing particularly wrong with this tradition; however, understand that it is just a tradition and not a law of God. The church you attend asks couples to attend counseling to improve the success of the marriage. Again, there is nothing wrong with these things, but they are not a command of God. These are merely local traditions.

What is required is a covenant be formed between the man and the woman (Malaichi 2:14). See Marriage Covenants for more details on how a covenant is established.

Regarding dress, there is no difference in the rules between attending church services, going to work, or any other situation. What is required is modesty. See Modest Apparel.

"Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering" (I Corinthians 11:14-15).

"Long" is a relative term. God is not dictating a specific length of hair. Instead, He insists that men's hairstyles must be shorter than women's. Since the beginning of time, God expected a distinction to be made between the sexes. For example, in the law of Moses, God said, "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this" (Deuteronomy 22:5). Other than articles of clothing, the relative length of hair is the most distinctive difference between men and women. If the hair on a woman leaves you wondering whether she might really be a he, then it's too short.

Some women have difficulty growing long hair, such as those undergoing cancer treatment. Wigs are a good solution to the problem. Some don't want to put in the effort to maintain long hair and choose to wear wigs instead. So long as her hair is long, I would not object.

Satan, the old enemy of God, has filled people's minds with the idea that everyone should look and act the same. Somehow, he has convinced people that men and women looking different is wrong. Why can't people, and especially Christians, be content to follow the teaching of the Bible, custom, and common sense, and let men be men and look like men and women be women and look like women?

Not Divorcing

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 06 Jan 2026 17:50:44 +0000

by Zeke Flores

The local newspaper, where we used to live, had an interesting column one morning. It was about a married couple, Blanche and Jake, who’d been married for about 50 years. They were quite happy, and at first, I thought it would be a typical love story of two people growing old together.

But they weren’t together. At least, not physically.

They lived in separate houses. The houses were next door to one another, but they were, indeed, separate. You see, it seems that Blanche didn’t like Jake’s snoring or having to “answer” to him. She didn’t believe in divorce, so Blanche moved out. She convinced Jake to buy the house next to hers, and now when the family gets together, they eat meals in the same house, but the children have the option of which house they’ll sleep in. Blanche and Jake love the arrangement. Blanche said she loves not having anyone to answer to and is glad they didn’t divorce.

I’m glad they didn’t divorce, too, but it seems to me that marriage is quite a bit more than simply not divorcing. Genesis 2:24 tells us that God’s intention for marriage is that the man and woman would be “joined together” and become “one flesh.” That would certainly entail living together, but also implies that they’ll be “on the same page.” Maybe they won’t agree on every detail; for instance, many men and women live happily together while disagreeing (but not disagreeably) on a host of issues. But hopefully, they’ll be in accord about their priorities concerning raising children, finances, and most importantly, serving God.

The wording in Genesis 2:24 implies that a man and woman will do all they can to guard the union. They’ll fight the forces that seek to tear them apart, whether it be the enticement to share the sexual intimacy of the union with someone outside of it, or window-rattling snoring. They’ll accept the roles that God has appointed for man and woman. He will love, nurture, and protect his wife, and she will respect and submit to her husband’s leadership.

It’s not simply about not divorcing; it’s about living together in an enriched relationship where each understands their place and, by filling that place, each helps the other be more than they could ever be apart. Blanche and Jake think they have an ideal marriage. They may be very good friends, but they’re certainly not “one flesh.”

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).