Is it wrong to talk about sexual things before we are married?

Question: My girlfriend and I have had a long-distance relationship for a while we really love each other. With God’s help and guidance, we plan on getting married in the future. But we occasionally like to talk about kissing and other related activities. We were feeling confident with each other and we even talked about…

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Internet Dangers

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/2013Spring6InternetDangers.mp3 by Lance Blackburn Lessons for Our Time

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Could you explain more about fornication, lust, and desire?

Question: To start off, I just want to say I am not trying to be antagonistic to your response in “My boyfriend and I keep falling into sexual sin. What should we do?” but rather trying to fully reconcile what people say the Bible says to the lives we actually live — body, soul and spirit. I…

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How do I overcome my attraction to men?

Question: Hi, Not sure if you can help me because I am older than the guys you are helping but any advice you could give would be much appreciated.  I am a single, 32-year-old male and have struggled with gay thoughts and urges most of my life.  I have never given into these urges and…

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Sexting and Pornography Among Early Teens

Source: Daniel Martin, “Sex texts epidemic: Experts warn sharing explicit photos is corrupting children,” Daily Mail Online, 10 December 2012. The news merely confirms what we already knew: the age at which children are being exposed to sex is dropping. The following are interesting quotes pulled from the article. “Boys and girls as young as 13…

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How do I restrain myself with my girlfriend?

Question: Hi Jeffrey, I’m in a courtship with a lady and we both promised each other never to fornicate, which we have kept for three years now. But we do kiss and romance each other since a year into our courtship. I have tried to stop it but to no avail. She has self-control over…

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What is the difference between temptation and lust?

Question: Hi I was reading some of the questions that many have posted and one of them caught my attention. In it, you said that being tempted is not a sin. Many of the things we do that are wrong start in the mind, right? So when do the thoughts themselves become a sin? How…

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Sexting Is Now Called “Normal Dating Behavior”

Source: Matt Roush, “UM Study: Sexting May Be Normal Dating Behavior For Internet Generation,” CBS Detroit, 24 July 2012. Source: Deborah Gordon-Messer, et al, “Sexting Among Young Adults,” Journal of Adolescent Health, 24 July 2012. “For young adults today who were weaned on iPods and the Internet, the practice of “sexting,” or sending sexually explicit photos or messages…

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Is it wrong for a woman to lust for her husband?

Question: I have a sincere question concerning lust. Is it a sin to have a strong sexual desire for your husband? Adding to that, is it a sin to desire ‘rape fantasies’ with your husband? I used to have rape fantasies before I married, and now that I’m married, I’ve often had these fantasies about my husband.…

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Can you give some guidelines for how to behave in courtship?

Question: During our courtship, my girlfriend and I kept making small compromises that almost led to sex. We know we want to marry one another; in fact, it took us about four months to get to know each other because we wanted to make sure God is being glorified in the midst of our relationship.…

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What are all the types of sexual sins?

Question: What are all the types of sexual sins? Answer: “Truly, this only I have found: That God made man upright, But they have sought out many schemes” (Ecclesiastes 7:29). One of the problems with coming up with lists of possible sins is that men are too inventive in coming up with new ways to…

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Is it wrong to fantasize about sex with your future wife?

Question: My fiance and I have been together for several years. We have decided mutually that we would not have sex or any sexual contact until we are married. We are both very happy with this decision and plan on getting married shortly after I graduate college. We both know that it is a sin…

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I keep messing up with lust and laziness. What can I do?

Question: I am 18. I got saved a few months ago. Although I love God, I am constantly messing up. I have a stumbling block for lusting homosexual thoughts and laziness to name a few problems. I know what I am doing is wrong, and I keep confessing, but I still mess up. I am…

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Love is Different

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Paul’s description of love in I Corinthians 13:4-8 is both well-known and unheeded. Despite knowing what love is and is not, people still expect more of love. They want the fluttery feeling of butterflies in the stomach and the emotional high. To many, love isn’t real without the emotions. But are…

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How do I gain control over my sexual desire?

Question: I need help. I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. I love him very much, and soon he is going to ask my parents for my hand. I’ve always had a crush on this guy. He’s actually the stepson of my uncle. Since I met him when I was young, I’ve…

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Lies Pornography Tells Men

by Edwin Crozier I obviously have no idea who is going to read this article. However, I am 100% convinced that someone reading this post today, spent last night looking at pornography. In fact, I imagine that someone reading this post probably looked at pornography within the last hour. Someone reading this post is hooked and…

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Is it right to watch movies with poorly dressed people?

Question: Is it right to watch movies with badly dressed people? People seem to think that because it’s in a movie, it’s normal. I disagree. Most movies are sensual. Answer: What is being argued is that it is acceptable to look at scantily dressed people for entertainment. But if that is true, when does clothing become…

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When does a thought become a sin?

Question: I am sorry to bother you again with another letter, but I have a lot on my mind. If you remember I had written to you a few weeks ago about a bad thought I had in a moment of frustration about selling my soul. Again I know that the thought was wrong, but I…

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What is included in porneia?

Question: Hi! I have been studying sex and the Bible. What I am really confused about is that the Bible does not mention oral sex or mutual masturbation. It only mentions anal sex and vaginal sex. Thus, how are oral sex and mutual masturbation a sin? How is it sexual intercourse? In Greek, porneia means…

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Which is better: to visit a prostitute or masturbate?

Question: Is it true that it’s better to have sexual relations with a whore than it is to masturbate? Some people refer to it as, “better in a whore than on the floor.” As a kid, I was taught that it would be better for me to masturbate than to have sex with a girl…

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Does Matthew 5:28 only apply to lusting after a married woman?

Question: I am a Christian and worship in a congregation of the Church of Christ.  I would like to ask you something, that has been vexing me for some time, and I know the general and most common answers but I would truly applicate your reply. We as a rule tend to take the most…

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I think I committed the sin of lust. What do I do?

Question: I think I committed lust. I thought of having sex with a person I knew, and really do regret it, after I found out it is a very big sin. No one told me it was a sin, but after I’ve done some research, I found out it is as if I am actually…

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I know what I ought to do, but I keep slipping

Question: Hello, I just recently stumbled upon your questions and answers on your website and I have found them to be very biblically based, direct, and insightful. I have a few questions that I would like to pose to you. My fiance and I have been dating from high school and through college and have…

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Am I a real Christian?

Question: Lately, something’s been really bothering me and it’s been growing and growing and I’m afraid of where it might lead. Basically, I’ve been wondering if I’m a “real or true” Christian or not. This thought has been driving me nuts, leaving me depressed, and confused. From reading online and other sources about what being…

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How do I keep temptation at bay just before my wedding?

Question: I am in need of your advice. I am in my early twenties. I grew up in a church and learned at a young age that I should wait until I got married before I had sex. When I was saved in my teens, I took a pledge that I would wait. However, when…

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Is phone sex with your fiance a sin?

Question: I am a born again believer, and I am going to marry a person committed to the Lord. We are engaged and we are waiting for the marriage. During these times we indulge in a little phone sex. It ends up with me ejaculating. Is it ok or is it a sin? We are…

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Is talking sexually through texting before marriage considered wrong?

Question: Is talking sexually through texting before marriage considered wrong? Answer: One of the mistakes the Pharisees made was to look at God’s laws so narrowly that they decided that only what was precisely mentioned was wrong. They understood that committing adultery was wrong, but they excused thinking about it. “You have heard that it…

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