Answer:

There are several mistakes you are making. First, you are forgetting that the Bible covers about four thousand years of the world's history. Everything that happened is not recorded on its pages. All we have are the highlights of what God considers to be the important events that can teach us lessons.

Second, you cannot assume from what isn't said that nothing had happened or will happen. When there is silence in the Scriptures, all you can say is that God didn't say. You cannot put words into God's mouth. "Do not add to His words, lest He rebuke you, and you be found a liar" (Proverbs 30:6).

Unlike other religious books, the Bible shows us that even "heroes" have flaws. We are told about the mistakes people made, even those we see as being good people. Sometimes we are directly told why what a person did was wrong, but not always. Sometimes we are left to figure it out by seeing what God said in other places.

While God made examples out of some people's misdeeds, He didn't do so every time. Think about it for a moment. If God zapped every sinner when they sinned, how many people would be left? (Romans 3:23). When a person isn't immediately punished, the better assumption is that God sees there is a possibility for that person to repent of his sin and He gives them the chance to change. "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" (II Peter 3:9).

Thus, when Cain committed murder, he got a personal warning in advance (Genesis 4:6-7) and an immediate punishment (Genesis 4:9-12). But several generations later, Lamech, the first polygamist, killed a man and boasted about it (Genesis 4:23-24); yet, nothing is recorded as having happened to him. This doesn't mean God approved of Lamech's sins or that He let him get off. We know that murder is a sin (what happened to Cain is proof), and we know that ultimately every person is going to be judged by God. "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad" (II Corinthians 5:10). No sinner really escapes the consequences of his sins.

Lot faced a dilemma familiar to many people. He tried to stop a sin with another sin. "And why not say, "Let us do evil that good may come"? -- as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just" (Romans 3:8). Fortunately for Lot, the angels intervene and prevented that sin. The point of the rescue of Lot is one you are missing. None of us are perfect. Are you worth saving with all of your sins? Why would God even bother? "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). God saved Lot because he was, in general, a righteous man. "And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward would live ungodly; and delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds) -- then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and to reserve the unjust under punishment for the day of judgment" (II Peter 2:6-9). Lot wasn't perfect, but God saw that he was worth saving. And we later learn that despite being saved by God, he still fell into sin later. His story then becomes an example for us.

You seem to have missed many of the key points in Judah's story. Judah had three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. We aren't told what Er had done, but shortly after he married a woman named Tamar, he was killed. "But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD killed him" (Genesis 38:7). Because he died without heirs, his wife was given to the next oldest son. Any children that they had would be counted as the Er's children. But Onan didn't want to lose the extra inheritance that would come to him if Er remained childless, so he tried to keep Tamar from getting pregnant. "And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also" (Genesis 38:10). Judah was down to one son left and he couldn't help noticing that the other two died shortly after marrying Tamar. Using the fact that Shelah was technically too young for marriage, he told Tamar to return to her father's house until Shelah was old enough. But out of sight, out of mind, and Judah conveniently forgot to send for Tamar over the years.

Tamar got it into her head to have a child one way or another. What she did was not right. It is noted that by this time Judah's wife had died (Genesis 38:12). We aren't told why she pick this particular location, but I suspect that she heard rumors that Judah was seeing prostitutes. I conclude this because she seems confident that he would visit her. She dressed up as a prostitute and then waited for Judah. Judah didn't have payment with him, so Tamar insisted on his signature seal and staff to be held until payment arrived. Judah sent the payment with a friend, but by that time Tamar had disappeared and no one in the area knew of a prostitute working in that area. Take note of what Judah said, "Then Judah said, "Let her take them for herself, lest we be shamed; for I sent this young goat and you have not found her"" (Genesis 38:23). Judah knew that what he did was wrong. He didn't want to make a big deal looking for the prostitute just to pay her and get his seal and staff back. Like many sinners, he didn't want his sin to be public knowledge and he thought he was hiding what he had done.

Later, Judah was told that Tamar was pregnant. Like many sinners, he took his own personal guilt out on someone else. "Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things" (Romans 2:1). Judah demanded that she die a horrible death by burning. When she was brought to Judah, she told him that the man who got her pregnant had this seal and staff. Judah admitted that these were his. Until this time, he thought his visits to prostitutes were private sins. Now, in front of others, he not only had to admit that he was seeing prostitutes, but that he unknowingly had sex with his daughter-in-law. "So Judah acknowledged them and said, "She has been more righteous than I, because I did not give her to Shelah my son." And he never knew her again" (Genesis 38:26). What Tamar did was wrong, but Judah is saying that compared to her, his own sins were so much greater than she in comparison was more righteous than he.

But take note that Judah never had sex with Tamar again. He knew this was sinful. Yet, he also owned up to his sin. He took the twin boys of Tamar and acknowledged them as his own sons. Tamar was also supported for the rest of her life. These are actions that indicate a man who had repented of his sins and was trying to make the best of the mess he created. As Elihu pointed out, the proper response to sin is to quit. "For has anyone said to God, 'I have borne chastening; I will offend no more; teach me what I do not see; if I have done iniquity, I will do no more'?" (Job 38:31-32). Judah was publicly chastised and he quit his sin.

Where is God's wrath? It is standing aside as God demonstrates His mercy, just as He has shown mercy to you.

"Behold, these are the ungodly, who are always at ease; they increase in riches. Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been plagued, and chastened every morning. If I had said, "I will speak thus," Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me - until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end. Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction. Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors. As a dream when one awakes, so, Lord, when You awake, You shall despise their image" (Psalms 73:12-20).