by Perry Hall
via Biblical Insights, Vol. 15, No. 1, January 2015

God thinks fathers are so important; He gave Jesus one. Now, let me bore you with a few statistics: Young men growing up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those from two-parent families. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity (National Fatherhood Initiative, 2001). Old figures and they are getting worse as the gospel is needed in all homes and hearts. No wonder the Holy Spirit prophesied Elijah's spiritual descendant would “turn the hearts of the fathers to their children” (Luke 1:17). Fathers have always been important.

Too much of America doesn’t think fathers are important. The nation's moral values are digressing so much that the language has adapted. Unmarried men getting women pregnant but not in a future relationship are “baby-daddies.” These women are “baby-mommas.” How is the absentee father crisis solved? For those without fathers, adoption, fostering, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, and such are all life-changing and pure religion (James 1:27). For those who are fathers, it takes a godly character within, based upon a relationship with God. Being a father is more than physically being there at conception or later on. God thinks fathers so important; He gave Jesus, Joseph, the other father of Jesus.

Jesus, the Son of God and the Son of Man, is very much the son of Joseph even if he did not biologically father Him (Matthew 1:15-16). While the term adoption is not used, the Bible does use the term “father” to describe Joseph, coming from Mary’s mouth (Luke 2:48). Many people have been named in wills to receive children upon the death of the parents; such is a great honor. The Heavenly Father chose Joseph to be His Son’s earthly father. What an honor! Could we have been chosen?

The Situation

Joseph discovers Mary is pregnant. Matthew 1:18 presents more questions than answers, which is probably how Joseph initially felt. How does Joseph discover this, this, this “complication?” Matthew says, “It was discovered” (HCSB), “She was found” (NASB; ESV; NET). Luke says after Mary becomes pregnant, she visits her relative, Elizabeth. How long does she stay? She goes when Elizabeth is six months pregnant; if she stays until the birth, that is three months - long enough for Mary to start showing. Does Joseph hear rumors about the “unfaithful” Mary who got “sent away” to relatives? Does Mary herself tell Joseph? If so, naturally, he does not and cannot believe her spectacular story. Would you?

A Man Who Lives the Gospel

By law, Joseph has the righteous right to put Mary to death even though they are only betrothed (Deuteronomy 22:22-27). Being righteous or just does not mean only applying the letter of the law (Zechariah 7:9). It also means preferring mercy over personal rights. As people who want to follow God’s laws, it can be counterintuitive to apply mercy and grace. Think about that statement before casually dismissing it. Easily and faithfully, we can think we are breaking the law by not applying consequence instead of mercy. But is the New Covenant the only law?

“Joseph could not have known it, but in his actions he became a foregleam of the gospel itself. According to his understanding Mary was guilty under the Law, and thereby was condemned to death. But in an act of grace he showed mercy. Thus his very gracious attitude was an acted parable of the grace of God extended to all men who are condemned under the Law but who may receive grace, mercy, and peace through Him whom God entrusted to the care of one who himself showed mercy” [Hobbs].

Living the gospel, Joseph does not want to do to Mary what Jesus will do to Satan and his minions (Colossians 2:15). Jesus triumphs over Satan, but Joseph is not interested in triumphing over Mary. Being a parent and spouse is not about winning or losing. It is about sacrifice.

A Man Who Chooses Love over Hurt

Although the word “love” (agape) is not used in this pericope of Joseph, I hope the point is seen as legitimate. Not putting Mary to death or divorcing her, but instead marrying her, is an act of seeking the best on the part of Joseph for Mary. Now, from his perspective, this is love over hurt. True agape love seeks the best for the other, even when hurting. Not wanting to disgrace is an act of grace.

A Man Who Considers His Actions

Even before the angel appears to Joseph to explain the things of God more accurately, he considers the evidence as he knows it (Mt. 1:20). Every action Joseph takes could have been a natural emotional reaction instead of a mental and spiritual consideration. Considered enthumeomai means “to reflect on, to ponder.” How many bad decisions are made without thinking and without considering all the ramifications for all involved? How many decisions are only about “me?”

A Man Who Is Willing to Change His Mind

After the dream, after the angel appears, and after receiving more evidence, Joseph changes his mind. If you are a fan of the movie “Oh Brother Where Art Thou,” you are familiar with the lead character’s wife, Penny McGill, who could out-stubborn a mule. One of her lines is, “Eve spoken my piece and counted to three.” Such should never be said of parents. All should be approachable, even after making a decision. Such should never be said of those belonging to God. Whether it is our opinion of someone, an action being considered, or our understanding of God’s revelation, new evidence should always be welcomed and acted upon. Recently, in class, the teacher asked, “Raise your hand if you consider yourself open-minded.” Would you raise yours? Who wouldn’t!? But are we being close-minded about our being open-minded?

A Man Who Knows the Scriptures

Matthew includes Isaiah 7:14 in his commentary on Joseph and Mary. The angel does not say this messianic quotation to Joseph, but all indications are that he knew the scriptures. Would God have chosen Joseph to be His Son’s father if he hadn’t? This is a good question for us if we consider our children gifts from God. It is even more important if we want to raise our children to be children of God.

A Man Who Obeys God to His Own Hurt

I may be doing a little speculation here, but stay with me. If Joseph knew Mary was pregnant, and if he was willing to divorce her, then is it likely others knew? And if others knew, and Joseph married her, could he not have endured the same shame? Could that be the reason the angel says, “Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife” (Matthew 1:20). We do know that later others referred to Joseph as Jesus’ father, so either time passed so that no one knew, or else people refer to Joseph as Jesus’ father because that is the role he assumed (Luke 4:22). In the second century, Celsus, an anti-Christian Greek philosopher, mounted an attack on Christianity. Celsus wrote that Jesus’ father was a Roman soldier named Panthera.

A Man Who Sacrifices All for the Safety of Family

Fast forward to after the birth, but before the Massacre of the Innocents. An angel again comes to Joseph, this time warning him and instructing him to flee to Egypt (Matthew 2:13-14). Even when the news from God is good news, it is hard news. Being a parent is difficult, whether a mother
or father. That is one reason too many are “deadbeat dads.” Being a dad is more than being a DNA donor. Any mature male can father a child, but it takes a mature man to be a father. When sacrifices are made, especially those that take the father away for great periods of time, it is imperative that communication takes place. Sometimes, dads can make unnecessary sacrifices, thinking the family would rather have things than him. If that is the case, then again, communication is needed to correct the wrong thinking, whether in the children, wife, or father.

A Man Who Was There When God Needed Him

After Matthew 2, Joseph is never seen again in Matthew. In Luke's story, Joseph is only seen in the first two chapters, the final scene being when Jesus is twelve. Then he disappears. He is not seen at the cross, like Mary. He is not mentioned at the beginning of Acts, like Mary. Speculation is that he died by the time Jesus began His ministry around the age of thirty. Whatever happened, one thing is true and undeniable. When God needed him, Joseph was there.

Jesus imitates both His fathers because His earthly father imitated His heavenly Father. That is the goal for all parents and their children.

• Jesus Lived the Gospel;
• Jesus Chose Love Over Hurt;
• Jesus Considered His Actions;
• Jesus Was Willing to Change His Mind;
• Jesus Obeyed God to His Own Hurt;
• Jesus Sacrificed All for the Salvation of Family;
• Jesus Was There When God Needed Him.

God thinks fathers are so important; be like Joseph, the other father of Jesus.