funerals – La Vista Church of Christ

A False Measure of Goodness

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 17:27:17 +0000

by Clay Gentry

At a recent funeral, the preacher acknowledged that the deceased had never attended church, nor was he particularly religious. "Still, he was saved," the preacher said, "because he trusted Jesus when he was young." Rather than showing evidence of a transformed life, the preacher highlighted three aspects of the deceased’s “goodness” to comfort the family, assuring them that their loved one was in heaven.

Love of Family vs. Love of God and Neighbor:

First, the man’s love for his family was cited as evidence of his salvation. While a person’s love for their family is a good thing (Ephesians 5:33; 6:1-4), it is a natural human affection, not necessarily a spiritual fruit of a changed heart, for Jesus said, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6:32).

In fact, Jesus warned that love for one’s family could become a hindrance to following Him, saying, “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37). The Bible’s standard for a life transformed by Christ is love for God and love for our neighbor (Mark 12:30-31), which extends far beyond our immediate family circle to neighbor and foe alike.

Hard Work vs. Kingdom Work:

Next, the decedent’s work ethic was praised as a sign of his virtuous life. Indeed, diligent work is a virtue and a biblical principle (Proverbs 10:4; 13:4; 14:23). The Apostle Paul even warned, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (I Timothy 5:8).

However, working hard to earn a living is not a substitute for Kingdom work; it’s the dedicated effort to share the gospel, build up the saints, and serve the poor, among many other things. Again, listen to Paul: “My beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (I Corinthians 15:58). The labors of this life will vanish away, but he does not forget our work for the Lord.

Loving the Outdoors vs. Loving the Creator:

Finally, the man’s enjoyment of the outdoors was used to show his connection to God. It’s a wonderful thing to appreciate God’s creation, and it can be a way to observe “His eternal power and divine nature” (Romans 1:18-21), but it can’t end there.

Having a love for creation is not a replacement for submitting to the Creator. The Bible clearly states that a relationship with God is found through Jesus, the Christ, not through nature. As Jesus Himself said, “No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6). You cannot love the Creator without knowing Him and submitting to His will (see: John 1:1-5; Colossians 1:15-23; Hebrews 1:1-4).

Don’t be fooled by a false gospel, which only produces a false hope. Worldly qualities: family affection, hard work, a love for nature, don’t define a virtuous life. We must look only to Scripture for the definition of goodness: a transformed life evidenced by love for God, obedience to Christ as King, love of neighbor, and dedication to the Kingdom. Salvation demands that a child’s commitment mature into a life of obedience.

Are you seeking a hope that is built on something more solid than a fond memory or a worldly measure of goodness? True, lasting hope isn’t found in what we do, but in what God has done through Jesus Christ.

Funeral Service for Donald Wayne Hamilton

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 21:47:23 +0000

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

We gather here today to remember the life of Donald Hamilton.

Donald Wayne Hamilton, 91, passed away in Shady Shores, Texas on Tuesday, April 15, 2025.

Donald was born on October 11, 1933, to Evard and Dora Hopkins Hamilton. He graduated from Reavis High School in Burbank, Illinois, in 1952. He served in the Navy as a radio repairman from 1953 to 1957. He worked for three months with RCA in 1958 before being employed as one of the first computer technicians for IBM when computers had vacuum tubes and occupied an entire floor. He retired from IBM in 1990.

He was born in Ottawa, Kansas, and lived in Chicago, Illinois, before joining the Navy. He married Shirley Ruth Estell in 1957 from Joliet, Illinois. While employed with IBM (“I’ve been moved”), he lived in Illinois, New York, Michigan, Montana, Canada, back to Illinois, and retired in North Carolina. After retirement, he moved to the mountains of North Carolina, followed by Missouri, and finally Texas.

He was a member of the church of Christ his entire life, serving as a prominent song leader wherever he attended and a preacher for a few years after his retirement. He served as a Cub Scout leader for Pack 198 in northern Illinois. He was a talented carpenter and electrician, and he built his own homes in Illinois, Missouri, and North Carolina.

He is preceded in death by his parents; his siblings Nadine Blocker, Daisy Watson, and Harold; his nephew Duane; and his grandson Benjamin. He is survived by his wife and companion of 68 years in marriage; his brother Leonard; his children Jeffrey (Gaye), Darrell (Sherry), Steve (Janine), Cynthia Salmons, and Glenn (Phoebe); his grandchildren Nathan, Andrew, Anthony, Zachery, Eric, Wesley, Jeremy, Samuel, Melanie Bunch, Jason, Alex, Sarah McBride, Cassondra Salmons, Kaytlyn Salmons, Kylee Salmons, Kristine Lockwood, Kimberly Abel and Kourtney; 21 great grandchildren with two on the way; 22 nephews and 20 nieces.

We all know that death is the inevitable consequence of living. You know the day of departure will come; yet, we are not quite ready when the time arrives. The writer of Psalms 116 assures us that “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones.”

It is precious because a life of purpose has been completed.

A Builder

Dad started life during the great depression. For a while, they lived in a remodeled garage owned by a sister-in-Christ who wrote cookbooks. Dad said the cold floor in the winter cured him of his sleepwalking. He learned carpentry and cabinet making as he worked alongside his father. He learned electrical work in the Navy. After the Navy, he worked for a short time repairing radios and TVs before landing a job with IBM to repair computers for the early warning defense system. When a traffic accident left him unable to carry a toolkit anymore, he learned to diagnose computer failures by reading dumps of computer memory. Eventually, he did some programming before his retirement.

He took a course in building TVs and later another course in watch and camera repairs, just to keep busy.

In Illinois, Mom and Dad bought an old, narrow 2-story house in Libertyville. He leveled the floors and added a sump drainage system. Dad and Grandpa dug a basement on the side of the house and built an addition that doubled the house's size. Much of the work was done by hand.

He often helped his sons with building and remodeling their homes. Even in retirement, he built a beautiful home on the Hiwassee River in the North Carolina mountains. He preached for a small congregation in Warne, North Carolina. He lost his sight in one eye and his short-term memory due to a stroke after his fourth heart attack. He had to give up preaching, and he and Mom moved to Missouri, where he built another home across the road from Cyndy and Eddie’s farm. Then he helped build a home for Cyndy and Eddie.

Like life, these works will not last. But there was joy in the doing. “I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor – it is the gift of God” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13)

A Servant

Dad loved the Lord and His church. There can’t be anything more precious. He taught Bible classes frequently. His favorite was the history of the Old Testament using “Outlines of Bible History” by Roy Lanier. I still have a copy.

He loved to sing. He had a beautiful baritone voice. He led singing wherever we went. He sang as he worked. Even a month before his death, he was still singing beautifully.

He and his father helped start a congregation north of Chicago. It relocated from Lake Forest to Libertyville, and it continues to meet in Round Lake Beach to this day.

He served his community with his military service. When we were old enough to join the Cub Scouts, he reluctantly became the Pack Leader for the local troop. He was popular and served for many years.

Mom and Dad loved strangers. I remember many sailors spending their weekends off at our home. In New York, Dad ran across this new dish called “hot pies” or “pizza.” He went home and went through Mom’s spice rack, sniffing each one. From that, they developed their own pizza recipe that is still made in the family. I remember pizza parties, singing in the New Year, and many other gatherings in our home.

Enjoying Life

Dad was always a bit of a jokester. You could tell he was up to something when he got a twinkle in his eye. When there were parties, Dad often had some game or puzzle to keep everyone entertained. For a while, we had a cabin in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We took long vacations and traveled much of the United States in a camper. Dad loved card games. He taught us Crazy Eights (the precursor to Uno) and Contract Rummy (the precursor to Phase 10). He was tough to beat.

The traffic accident Dad suffered left him in a lot of pain. He wasn’t always in the best of moods, but he still had fun through life. He hunted deer and elk in the west when he was young, though he had to give that up after the accident. Oddly, while repairing his car, something popped in his back, and the pain stopped. The next thing I knew, Dad went off to hunt and shot three deer in the first 15 minutes, filling his tag.

Memories are good, especially focusing on the good times. But like all of life, even these will fade. “There is no remembrance of earlier things; and also of the later things which will occur, there will be for them no remembrance among those who come later still” (Ecclesiastes 1:11).

Grief is a natural reaction to death, but to understand why reaching the end of life is precious to God, we have to remember that this world is not our final destination. We are just passing through. “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens” (II Corinthians 4:16-5:1). Dad had a long, full life – much longer than he expected. Still, the physical body had become worn out and ceased to function. However, we don’t look at the physical, but the spiritual. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, in his “A Psalm of Life,” said,

“Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returneth,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and wait.”

Paul said, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord” (I Corinthians 15:58). In life, we prepare ourselves for eternity.

“A good name is better than a good ointment, and the day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth. It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy. The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, ...” (Ecclesiastes 7:1-4).

May you have full lives, but more importantly, may those lives reflect the glory of God. May the end of our lives be precious in the sight of our Lord.

Graveside Remarks

Yesterday only exists in fading memories, worn-out photographs, and history books. It is a collection of imperfect records kept in an imperfect medium. However, unlike our recollections of yesterday, the Bible was written and is maintained by the perfect God. It will not fade away. Peter said, “For you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God. For, "All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls off, but the Word of the Lord endures forever" (I Peter 1:23-25).

There is no living space in yesterday. You cannot stay there. We cannot even accurately recall it. Solomon warns, “Do not say, "Why is it that the former days were better than these?" For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this” (Ecclesiastes 7:10). Yesterday, too often, is larger than life. What we remember and what truly happened are usually different. We only know what we experienced, and even then, we emphasize some points and ignore others because that is our nature. Put a set of people in a room to observe an event, and each one will give a different account, even when each is being totally truthful. Yesterday, things happened to me, but my memories are selective.

For some, the memories of yesterday are pleasant, but for others, it is a haunted place to be avoided. We may have memories filled with regrets, mistakes, and failures we would like to forget. The truth is: we don’t have control over what happens to us. We can only control our reaction to them. As James advised, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 2:2-4)

Regardless, yesterday doesn’t control our future. Some have yesterdays of faithful service to God, but not today. Others had pasts of evil, but not today. Perhaps there are plans for things we could do, if only ... but what are you doing with what you have? God’s standard is not yesterday, but today.

Yesterday tells us how we arrived at this point. Tomorrow is ahead of us, and we can choose our direction. Dad was focused on where he was going. Even with dementia, he was singing “Nearer, My God, to Thee” in his last days.

When we come to the end of our lives, our finish is not determined by our position, status, fame, or wealth. When we die, we leave all that we have behind. All that we take with us is who we are.

That being placed into the ground returns to the dust from which we were made. Yet, our souls live on. The grave is a departure, but it is not the end. "O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (I Corinthians 15:55-57). May everyone here be victorious in Christ.

[Many of the phrases and ideas presented are not original to me. I borrowed bits and pieces from other authors to describe what was so difficult to say about my memories of my father.]

My Father’s Hands

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 01 Sep 2023 15:03:30 +0000

by Fanning Yater Tant (1908-1988)
written in the 1970s

Not God. I am thinking of my own natural father, Jefferson Davis Tant. It is June 4, 1941. A few scores of us are gathered in the old auditorium of the Central Church of Christ, Cleburne, Texas. My father’s body lies in the casket before us. W. K. Rose has just finished a simple, moving tribute to the one who will walk among us no more. The casket is opened, and friends and relatives file slowly past, looking for the last time upon the mortal remains of the fallen soldier. Finally, the family is left alone for a few sad moments of farewell.

And what is the most vivid picture that comes to me as I remember that poignant hour? For some strange reason, my gaze focused on my father’s hands – strong, calloused, and worn with eighty years of toil and labor. Through half of my lifetime, that picture has not faded from my mind. I remember how the thumbs curled back, and that the skin of the hands was clear and unspotted, contrary to what it is often seen in the hands of the aged, and especially unlikely in view of his Irish heritage. Those were the hands that had held tightly of the bridle reins as he had tamed the furious contortions of many a bucking bronc; those were the hands that had picked wild berries in the hills of Georgia after Sherman’s armies had burned to the ground every building that stood on the farm; and had destroyed every vestige of food that could be found. Those were the hands that had baptized many thousands of people into the body of Christ and had written even more thousands of letters (quite often frustrating and unintelligible to the recipients because of their incredible illegibility).

My father was a strong man, both physically and mentally. His hands revealed that strength. They were worn and roughened by honest toil. They knew the feel of an axe handle, the warmth of a branding iron – and the smooth hard quiver of a bamboo fishing pole when a four-pound catfish was tugging at the other end of the line. These were the hands that had clung with such desperate despair to the wife of his young manhood as she slipped so quickly into death after four short years of marriage. These were the hands that had served both as mid-wife and physician at the birth of my older brother “because we were too poor to pay the $20.00 a doctor would have charged” as my mother told me so many years later.

They were hands that had given strength and courage to many a sad and weary heart whose owner had felt their tightening grip as he battled with some fierce grief or tragedy. They were hands of friendship, compassion, and sympathy. They were hands also that had hesitated to “apply the rod” (and how he applied it!) to his own children as they were passing through the formative years of childhood. They were the hands of authority – but also of security. Strength was there, and we knew it.

More than thirty years have passed since I stood beside my father’s bier, gazing so intently at his hands. It is as vivid as if it had happened yesterday. Somehow, my father’s hands, lying so still on the warm gray fabric of his burial suit (a gift, incidentally, of John W. Akin) seemed to symbolize his life, a life of fantastic activity, which had known hardship and heartache; but which had been rich in love and friendship, and in service to his Master. They were the hands of a man who had lived his life rather than merely marking time through his allotted span. As I gazed at my father’s hands that day in June so many years ago, I felt the appropriateness of the brief quotation which he himself had selected as an inscription to be engraved on the stone marker at his head: “I have fought a good fight; I have finished my course; I have kept the faith.” (II Timothy 4:7)

The Lunch Lady

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 23 Mar 2022 22:22:38 +0000

by Matthew W. Bassford

One of the best-attended funerals I’ve ever preached was for a school lunch lady. Her name was Marlene Norris. She was a faithful member of the church in Joliet, with which I was working at the time, along with her husband and three of her children. As is the custom in those parts, they asked me to offer the eulogy.

I arrived at the funeral home early and noticed when I went into the parlor that half the chairs had been removed. Only 40 or 50 remained. Nobody was expecting a big turnout.

This didn’t surprise me. I’d known and been friendly with Marlene ever since my arrival in the area, but she wasn’t a standout in the congregation. She attended regularly, but she didn’t speak up in Bible class, teach children’s classes, or sing so that I could hear her voice. If I remembered her for anything, it was for faithfully updating me on her various ailments every time I greeted her. To the extent that there is such a thing as an ordinary saint, she was it.

The family was already there, both those who were members in good standing and those who weren’t. I knew them all. I also knew the funeral-attenders from the congregation who were beginning to arrive. You know the type: those staunch older Christians who can be relied upon to show up for absolutely everything, including the funerals of members of the congregation, their relatives, and even notable brethren from surrounding congregations. They offer one of the little-recognized fringe benefits of being a child of God — the knowledge that no matter who dies, you won’t have to grieve alone.

However, a third group also began to trickle in, a group of people I did not know. They weren’t family. Frequently, they had the wrong skin color to be family. They weren’t funeral-attenders either. They weren’t nicely dressed, utterly respectable, utterly at ease. They didn’t look like they belonged. They sure thought they belonged, though.

There were a lot of them, too. They filled the available seating, so the funeral-home staff brought back a row of chairs. Soon it was filled with people, then another row, then another row.

The process continued even after the funeral service began. These weren’t people who had ever known the stern duty of appearing punctually at The Next Appointed Time. Being 10 or 15 minutes late was nothing to them, but Marlene Norris was something.

By the time the last amen was said, the room was full of chairs, and the chairs were full of people. If I remember rightly, there were even folks standing because there were no more seats to be found. I’ve never seen anything like it.

The only explanation I can offer is the one in Marlene’s obituary. It reads, “No one could ever walk in her home and not eat. She will be remembered for her giving and caring spirit, always putting everyone else’s needs before her own.” That sounds like an obituary commonplace, right up there with “She loved her family,” and “She loved to travel.” All the dead are generous and compassionate in their obituaries.

In Marlene’s case, though, I think the obituary spoke the truth. I think there were students at Gompers Junior High School for whom Marlene the lunch lady was the only kind voice in their lives. I think there were people who came to her kitchen at home because it was the only place on the planet where they could find warmth and food and love.

I’m guessing about all this because Marlene never mentioned any of it to me, even while she was giving me every detail about her ingrown eyelashes. I don’t think she thought about it much. Compassion was simply the water in which she swam. However, at the end of her days, the recipients of her kindness rose up and bore witness.

Such is greatness in the kingdom of heaven.

What Do You See in a Casket?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 03 May 2021 15:03:44 +0000

by Jarrod M. Jacobs

After the loss of our sister Goldie last week, as I looked at her body in the casket (James 2:26), the question that I used in the title came to my mind. All people must face the reality of death. There is not a day that goes by that someone on this earth is not affected by the death of a friend, loved one, or acquaintance. On some occasions, when people die, we may have to comfort and console those grieving at the loss of their loved ones. At other times, we will be the ones enduring grief and loss while friends and family come to comfort us.

Generally, after one has died, there is an opportunity given for the survivors to see that person’s corpse one last time before it is buried in the earth. As people file past and view the body of a loved one that last time, many thoughts flood the mind, no doubt. In light of this, let us ask the question, “What do you see when you look in a casket?” I believe there are many things we ought to see when viewing that body for the final time. When you look into a casket to view that body, you see:

The End of a Journey on Earth

The body in that casket declares that our life is a short journey at its longest! David says, “For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told. The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away” (Psalms 90:9-10). Do any of these descriptions suggest that we might live forever? No! We have a temporary stay upon this earth. James said, “For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away” (James 4:14). Let us appreciate what we see when we look into the casket!

Scripture Fulfilled

We mentioned Psalm 90:9-10 and James 4:14, which declare the temporary nature of this life. In addition to these, remember that the Holy Spirit said, “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). Appointed means, “to be reserved; fig. to await:--(be) laid up” (Strong’s). Therefore, it is a promise that all will die. It is “reserved” or “laid up” by God that this will happen. The only ones who will not experience physical death are those who are “alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord” (I Thessalonians 4:15). Since we do not know when this will be, the wise choice is to prepare now for death. Hebrews 9:27 is fulfilled daily. This is a fact! Let us be wise as we look into the casket and see the body of a loved one and prepare for eternity.

The End of Decision-Making

Think of all the things we put off until “tomorrow.” Yet, for some, “tomorrow” never comes. Whatever decisions they had to make are forever left undone, and the words they wanted to speak are now left unsaid.

If one has not become a Christian by the time he has died, he can no longer make the choice to turn his life over to God. It is now too late. The Bible teaches that “now is the accepted time” and “now is the day of salvation” (II Corinthians 6:2). The Hebrew writer said, “Today if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts” (Hebrews 3:7-8, 15). If we are going to decide to leave our lives of sin and live for Christ, we better make this decision now before it is too late! At death, our decision-making days are over!

The End of Earthly Work

Upon looking into the casket, we see the end of opportunities and earthly service. It is the end of teaching others the truth. It is the end of actively being a good example. (We know that Hebrews 11:4 and Revelation 14:13 apply.) A righteous person’s godly deeds have ended at death.

At the same time, if the one who has died has lived wickedly, the wickedness has stopped as well. He will no longer be actively involved in evil deeds, nor will he be saying evil things.

Looking into the casket, we see one who will do nothing more upon this earth. Once our soul slips from our body (James 2:26), this ends our earthly work.

The End of a Family Relationship

Some do not realize the fact that at death, certain relationships end. Both Christ and Paul dealt with this fact. For example, the Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection (Matthew 22:23), confronted Christ as to who a woman might be married to at the resurrection had she been married and widowed by several men (Matthew 22:24-28). Jesus answers by saying, “In the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven” (Matthew 22:30).

Paul taught that when a mate dies, the surviving spouse has the right to marry another (Romans 7:1-3). He said, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband” (Romans 7:2). When looking into the casket, we will at times witness the end of an earthly relationship and see a surviving spouse that is no longer bound in marriage to anyone. Marriage is for this earth-life only.

The End of the Ability to Change Our Eternal Destiny

It is only while we live upon this earth that we have the chance to change our eternal destiny. Only in this life can we make the choice to leave Satan and live for God. After death, we will not be able to choose to do what is right, nor will we forsake the wrong.

A prime example of this is in Luke 16:19-31. After the rich man and Lazarus died, the rich man was told there was no way that he could leave the place of torment to be in Paradise with Abraham and Lazarus (Luke 16:26). After our deaths, all that remains in our future is that day of judgment where “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (II Corinthians 5:10). Paul taught, “Every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12).

This is why it is vital that we turn from our sins and become Christians now before it is too late! This life is the only time in which we can follow the Lord’s plan for salvation (Mark 16:16) and live faithfully for Him (Revelation 2:10) so that we can see Heaven in eternity!

Ourselves in a Short Time

“The living know that they shall die” (Ecclesiastes 9:5). Looking into the casket, we see “the end of all men” (Ecclesiastes 7:2). We see something we need to lay to our heart (Ecclesiastes 7:2). We need to understand that looking into the casket and viewing that corpse indicates where we will all be one day. We should see ourselves in that place in just a little while, for our life is “a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away” (James 4:14). How carefully are we considering our ways?

Conclusion

“Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth” (Proverbs 27:1). Our Lord taught the parable of the rich fool, a man who had provided for himself but was not “rich toward God” (Luke 12:16-21). After providing only for his physical needs, God took him from this earth, asking, “Who will own what you have prepared?” (Luke 12:20, NAS). We don’t know what will happen in a day. Nor do we know when the time will come for people to file past our casket for the last time.

Let us get our priorities straight! David asked God to “Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom” (Psalms 90:12). How badly we need to be taught this! Let us put God’s kingdom and His righteousness first (Matthew 6:33). Let us live faithfully for the Lord all of our life (Revelation 2:10). Let us appreciate the brevity of this life and make the most of every day by being the kind of person God wants us to be. Let us serve Him all the days of our lives so that at the end of this journey on earth, people will not walk by our casket and weep, but take comfort that we sleep “in Jesus” (I Thessalonians 4:13-14).

The family doesn’t want the brethren involved in a sister’s funeral. What should we do?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 03 Mar 2019 21:50:21 +0000

Question:

Good day,

We had a sister in Christ who passed on. She was the mother and the only faithful Christian in her family. Her eldest son has strayed away from his promise to God. We tried to win him back but with no success. Now that his mother has passed on, he does not allow the church to have anything to do with her funeral. Do we just allow his wishes, or do we have any right or responsibility to the burial of his mother?

Thanks.

Answer:

Without a doubt, her son is being rude to the members of the church who wish to honor her memory. However, there is no authority for the church to conduct a funeral, that is a family responsibility. If the family wishes to be alone in their grief, there is nothing you can do about it.

If the members of the church wish to gather to remember their sister, they can do so on their own.

Should a church pay for a member’s cremation or ask if his house is in order?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 02:09:00 +0000

Question:

On two separate occasions, the church paid for a member's cremation. One member was asked if he had his house in order. Is this proper?

Answer:

The church is only involved in helping members with major disasters, such as a famine in the region (I Corinthians 8 and 9), or, in the longer-term, widows who have no family to take care of them (I Timothy 5:1-16). You did not mention if the cremation was for someone the church has authority to aid or not.

The church is involved in teaching God's word and one such issue is being good stewards of your finances. It would be appropriate to discuss whether plans have been made regarding future expenses, including one's death. See sermons on money matters.

Would it be wrong for me to skip my mother’s funeral?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 02:48:00 +0000

Question:

I am having difficulties getting along with my sister, especially regarding our mom and her care. We just recently lost our father. My sister has been difficult in the past and is more controlling now. I now realize that it is best for my sanity if I take breaks away from her. I don't want to be controlled! At this time my mom is declining, so it has been a tough road! I don't feel my sister has the best interest regarding mom. It is not best for the current caregiver to be in charge of gathering mom's personnel items, overall bills, valuables, and addressing the family concerns to her and totally leaving me out at this time! She knows of my concerns and currently does not care! As a Christian I want to know if would it be a sin, when my mom passes, if I don't attend her funeral? I am saddened at this time, but I feel it is important to visit my mom as often as I can while she is alive.

Answer:

You have your priorities in the right place. While your mom remains here on earth, visit her often and see to her needs. Try to avoid squabbles with your sister. You state what you think is best and then leave it at that. I assume that you and your sister still live at home? I assume also that your sister is the eldest? Are you a minor or an adult?

Not knowing your sister, my guess is that she is handling her grief over a situation she can't control by trying to control everything else.

Regarding inheritance, someone will be put in charge of settling your mother's bills and distributing what remains of her estate. That person will be determined by the rules of your country. The best way to look at this is to expect nothing and be appreciative of what might come.

Funerals are for the people who remain after a person dies. I know you would rather not go. I suspect that you don't want the passing of your mother reinforced. But Solomon noted, "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy. The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure" (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4). Facing death keeps us grounded, reminding all of us that we have limited time.

Sure, you can skip the funeral. You will also likely make an enemy of your sister for the rest of your lives because she will always hold that against you. To spend time for a short while where you would rather not be will not hurt you. If there are events at the funeral that deal with things contrary to Christian belief, those you may skip, but be there for the rest.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" (Romans 12:18).

Response:

Thank you, Jeff. Your input means a lot to me! I need Christian feedback to keep me in check! Your dedication to helping others is a given gift by God!

Should I apologize for leaving a funeral early?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 24 Jun 2014 00:10:00 +0000

Question:

Good afternoon Brother Hamilton and all the saints in La Vista. I have a question that I hope doesn't sound immature or petty.

A very close, dear childhood friend of mine died recently and his funeral was today in a denominational church. Presiding over the ceremony was a self-proclaimed "apostle and bishop" and there were other "pastors" both male and female present and involved. There was a lot of instrumental music, "speaking in tongues," shouting, "catching the Holy Ghost" and a lot of the other foolishness that goes on in the denominational world. I ended up leaving before the ceremony was over because it got harder and harder for me to sit there through all of it and not want to shout the Scriptural truth to all present.

My friend's family and mine have been close for several generations and I wanted to give all of the love and support I could but couldn't stomach all of the nonsense that was going on, so I left. Since I didn't stay for the burial and repast, should I apologize or send a card to the family asking for forgiveness for leaving so abruptly? Even under these circumstances, God's truth stands and Christians have a duty to stand on and speak Scriptural truth but it just didn't seem like the appropriate time to address it. I'm concerned that his mother, brothers, etc. won't understand, even if I give them biblical explanations for why I left. Any advice or insight?

Thank you and, as always, God bless and keep up the great work!

Answer:

You are correct that the family won't understand. I would have left the services too. I've had to do similar things at weddings when the celebrations get too far from proper Christian conduct.

No, you don't owe anyone an explanation for why you left early. You didn't do anything wrong. You merely couldn't stand staying where people were doing things that God doesn't approve of. Just be prepared that if someone from the family asks, to give them a gentle answer that service wasn't conducted in a way that you found compatible with the Scriptures. "But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will" (II Timothy 2:23-26). You never know, leaving an opening for a calm discussion might lead some out of error.

Response:

Thank you, Brother Hamilton. I'm sure you hear this often, but the work you do is a credit to the Lord, His Word, and all those truly desiring to learn while worshiping Him in spirit and truth. Thank you and God bless.

Should I participate in my parents’ Hindu burial ceremonies?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 02:38:00 +0000

Question:

Dear Sir,

I am from Malaysia. I and my whole family accepted Christ as our personal savior. We submitted ourselves to him and in due time we will be having our water baptism by our local church pastor. But my parents have not accepted Christ as they are Hindu. My parent both are quite old. My question is just in case my parents die, can I participate in the burial ceremony? As I feel this is only an outward act of mine, but my inward spirit has already submitted to the one Lord. I am really confused as I am living currently in Hindu society. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Please advise with the truth from the scripture.

Thanking you in the grace of the Lord Jesus.

Answer:

The fact that the church your currently attend puts off baptism tells me that it is not faithfully following the Scriptures. See: Should I wait to be baptized? and Why Were They Baptized so Soon?

John ends one of his letters with this warning: "Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen" (I John 5:21). Hinduism is an idolatrous religion. It has nothing to offer a believer in God. "And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people." Therefore "Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty"" ( II Corinthians 6:16-18).

From what I can see, the burial ceremonies are a religious practice heavy in references to Hindu belief. To participate in such ceremonies is to declare that you believe in them. To say you can do them and not believe in them is to say that you are putting on an act, which is hypocrisy.

It is hard, but a part of being a Christian is the boldness to stand for the truth, even in opposition to family. "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:37). But even better is if by your life and by your words you'll be able to convince your parents of the truth of Christ before they die.

Response:

Thank you and may the grace of the Lord be with me and reveal the truth through me to my parents. Please pray for my parents for them to accept Christ.