envy – La Vista Church of Christ

Envy Crucified Jesus

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 15:34:20 +0000

by Terry Wane Benton

Pilate knew that it was only because of envy that the Jewish leaders had brought Jesus to his judgment seat (Matthew 27:18). He thought that their envy was not so great that they would want a “notorious prisoner,” Barabbas, released instead of Jesus, but this was not so. Some religious people let their envy run so deep that they will do just about anything to get rid of that person. Pilate learned just how deep the envy of the chief priests really was, and now an innocent man will pay a high price while a guilty man goes free.

It was because of envy that He was delivered to be tried and executed. When we envy others, we do it to Jesus. Being envious of others is a sure sign that we would have just as easily allowed ourselves to get wrapped up in the envy that killed Jesus, and again, if you do it to “one of the least of these,” Jesus says, “You did it to me.”

Is there a person “you can’t stand” because they seem to have the popularity you crave, the attention you crave, the looks, the talents you crave? If you hate them and wish bad things upon them, you were in that crowd that envied Jesus enough to want Him crucified. Jesus was crucified by envy.
We can’t say that those chief priests were worse sinners. It was our envy that perverted fairness and justice. We were there in spirit, crucifying that innocent man. “Inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these, my brethren, you did it to Me.” Envy backstabs a brother or sister in Christ, tries to undermine, and tries to get rid of someone, but that behind-the-scenes behavior was already mirrored by the envy that chose Barabbas over Jesus.

Didn’t we see this envy there? Were you there when they crucified Jesus? If envy was involved in crucifying Jesus, Jesus can see into our hearts and know that we are just extensions of that crowd. Were you there when envy crucified the Lord? What do you see in the mirror of God’s word? Be wise in your self-reflection!

The Sins That Crucified the Savior

Controlling Our Emotions

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 06 Oct 2024 21:40:33 +0000

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Controlling-Our-Emotions.mp3

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

Text: Mark 7:18-23

I. From the heart comes the emotions which affect all aspects of our life - Proverbs 4:23

A. We can poison the well with evil thoughts - Mark 7:20-23

B. We can sweeten it with righteous ideals - Philippians 4:4-9

C. It affects our outlook on life - Proverbs 15:13

D. Our emotions have to be controlled, else they will control our lives

1. Control gives us added strength - Proverbs 16:32

E. Trust that God can teach us how - Proverbs 3:5-8

II. When emotions are out of control

A. You are left vulnerable to attack by others - Proverbs 25:28

B. It can misguide us - Proverbs 28:26

1. That is why everything isn’t as it may appear - Proverbs 14:12

2. It twists us up, even to the point of leading us away from God - Proverbs 19:3

3. A classic example are the Jews - Acts 13:45-46

a. Their emotional response lead them away from the truth

C. It is foolish to vent your feelings - Proverbs 29:11

III. Dangerous emotions

A. Anger - “a fiery resentment over mistreatment, whether real, exaggerated, or imagined”

1. The problem

a. It doesn’t lead to righteousness - James 1:19-20

b. A fool exercises no control over his anger - Proverbs 12:16

c. You end up making dumb mistakes - Proverbs 14:29

d. It leads to fights - Proverbs 30:33

(1) There is no control over what is said

(2) Soon there is no control over what is done

e. It gets us into trouble, repeatedly - Proverbs 19:19

2. The solution

a. Stay away from angry people. It is a learned trait - Proverbs 22:24-25

b. Distinguish between important matters and small annoyances - Proverbs 19:11

c. Slow down your response and look for solutions to the problem - Proverbs 15:18

B. Envy - “displeasure at another’s good fortune, thinking it should belong to you and not them”

1. The problem

a. It destroys the person from the inside - Proverbs 14:30

b. It causes harm to others - Galatians 5:15

c. It promotes evil - James 3:14-16

d. The classic example: Cain - I John 3:12

2. The solution

a. Focus on serving God - Proverbs 23:17-18

b. If someone, because of their evil, doesn’t deserve something know that God will handle the problem - Psalms 37:1-3

c. Esteem others above yourself - Philippians 2:3-4

C. Arrogance - “an inflated feeling of self-importance”

1. The problem

a. You don’t listen to others and you get conflicts - Proverbs 13:10

b. It is destructive - Proverbs 16:18

c. It is sinful - Proverbs 21:4

2. The solution

a. Humility - Proverbs 18:12

b. The humble learn - Proverbs 11:2

c. When we see ourselves as God does, we lose our pride - Romans 12:3

D. Impulsiveness - “rashness, recklessness, acting without advance thought”

1. The problem

a. Without thought we lose what we have - Proverbs 21:5

b. We say things we later regret - Proverbs 29:20

c. It can be destructive - Proverbs 13:3

2. The solution

a. Think about where you are going - Proverbs 4:26, Proverbs 14:15

b. Understand what you are doing - Proverbs 14:8

c. Look where it leads - Proverbs 22:3

d. Guard your thoughts and words - Proverbs 21:23

e. Think before you speak - Proverbs 15:28

E. Anxiety - “uneasiness caused by fear of misfortune”

1. The problem

a. Causes depression - Proverbs 12:25

b. It destroys health - Proverbs 17:22; 18:14

2. The solution

a. Choose to be happy - Proverbs 15:15

b. Cultivate pleasant friends who give good advice - Proverbs 16:24; 27:9

c. Trust in God - Proverbs 16:20; 29:25

d. Hope in God - Psalms 42:11

IV. The solution to uncontrolled emotions

A. Respect God - Proverbs 14:26-27; 19:23

B. Listen to correction - Proverbs 17:10

C. Cultivate godly wisdom - Proverbs 3:1-26

Based on a lesson by Frank Walton

How do you deal with a fear of missing out?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 19 Jun 2024 22:18:33 +0000

Question:

Dear sir,

I trust this email finds you well.

I'm writing to seek more knowledge. Are there biblical passages that speak of the fear of missing out? As humans and most especially Gen Z, we often bow to peer pressure and the fear of missing out on godly things. Is there any biblical passage or reference that speaks to these facts?

Thanks.

Answer:

At the root of this fear is envy. You are not content with life as it comes. You believe that you must experience more to be truly happy. "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am" (Philippians 4:11).

Envy is desiring what belongs to another. It is one of the reasons people are pulled into sin. They see the apparent happiness and prosperity of sinners and want to experience the same. "Do not let your heart envy sinners, but live in the fear of the LORD always" (Proverbs 23:17). However, we can also envy those the Lord has blessed. This is a part of the reason Cain slew his brother. God had accepted Abel's sacrifices. Instead of improving his own, Cain decided to kill the one who did better than he. Esau became bitter over his brother because Jacob received the blessing, even though this was foretold before their births. We must realize that just because someone else has received a blessing, my life isn't less.

I must also accept that my life is short (James 4:14). I won't be able to experience many things because there just isn't enough time. I make choices regarding what I would like to do, but those same choices mean I must eliminate other things. Regardless, I learned to enjoy what I have. Even if I die tomorrow, I want to say I had a blessed life because that is the truth. I'm sure there will be more to experience as my life on earth continues, but I don't need more to say that I've enjoyed the life God has given me.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Observations on Worldliness

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 01:31:54 +0000

by George Bosworth

We cannot grow spiritually when we cling to worldliness. Nothing new in that statement! But consider I Corinthians 3:3-4:

"For since there is envy and strife among you, are you not worldly and behaving like mere humans? For whenever one says "I belong to Paul", and another says "I belong to Apollos", are you not acting like mere humans?"

Worldliness is identified here with three concepts. If we are engaged in these things, we are not growing spiritually as we could if we repented of them:

Envy

The pursuit of "stuff" (possessions) or "status" will inevitably lead to our giving attention to someone else's stuff or status. This is unavoidably married to worldliness- we can't take any of it with us, so spiritually, the stuff is irrelevant at best, and a distraction that leads to sin at worst.

Strife

Perhaps the natural next step from envy, because once you desire that which is another's, you will start fighting (them) for it. Not being able to live at peace with all men because of your own discontentment is serious indeed.

Human Identity

And a third step into worldliness: Division based upon made-made distinction. The world loves to divide: Skin color, income, education, political opinions... we now even invent ridiculous labels, social babble meant to create new ways to define our differences: "I'm not a nerd, I'm a geek!" Who cares about this? Certainly not God. When we are distracted by finding an identity in man's constructs, we are pursuing something that is objectively meaningless.

End Envy: Find your value in Christ.

End Strife: Find your peace in Christ.

End Division: Find your identity in Christ.

Nothing else matters.

Should I not do things that might make others jealous?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 07 Oct 2023 21:01:43 +0000

Question:

Hello,

I have read through your site on a number of occasions. I have some questions regarding jealousy.

When my husband proposed to me, a girl at church seemed very upset because her boyfriend had not proposed to her yet. I was concerned that she may have been jealous of that. Maybe I should not have married my husband until she felt better about things. My father-in-law was seemingly jealous too. He said he did not want to let his son go. I felt extremely guilty for marrying my husband, even though my husband and I wanted to be married.

Likewise, my father-in-law says he is jealous of my artistic ability. My husband has asked me to create art.

Should I not have married my husband because people were jealous? Should I stop creating art because I'm making my father-in-law jealous? I read in a previous message that we should not cause other people to be jealous and that Paul said he would stop doing whatever he was doing if it caused people to be jealous.

We don't have much contact with his family, and I try not to share anything about my art and hide my business from him. It seems weird that if someone's jealous I have to stop doing my job, maybe not have children, or whatever it may be simply because of that reason.

I appreciate your help.

Answer:

If someone is naturally beautiful, does this mean she must cover herself so no one will be jealous? If someone inherits a large sum of money, does this mean he must refuse it so no one will be jealous?

Cain envied his brother's relationship with God (Genesis 4:1-15). God did not speak to Abel and tell him not to offer sacrifices or to hide what he was doing. God spoke to Cain and told him that he needed to change his behavior. The person who is sinning is the person who is envious of another.

Now, it is wrong for someone to be prideful. We should not put our wealth on display in order to cause others to think we are superior. However, if someone can afford nice things, there is nothing wrong with having them. "Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God. For he will not often consider the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart" (Ecclesiastes 5:19-20). The difference is in the attitude of the person.

You married because that is the right thing to do in God's sight. If some are jealous about that, it isn't something you can alter. They will have to learn to overcome their jealousy. You have a talent for art. That is something you can use to support your family. Again, this is something that is good. You don't stop good because someone might sin.

Response:

This is very reasonable. Thank you for your generous time in replying. I feel embarrassed for my question (though not by you ) Please forgive me.

God bless.

On the Other Side of the Fence

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 25 Dec 2022 21:16:47 +0000

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/On-the-Other-Side-of-the-Fence.mp3

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

Text: Philippians 4:4-9

I. It is so easy, so tempting to look at what someone else has accomplished and think “That could have been me.”

A. When you are in school, have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I can’t wait until I have a job. None of this homework business for me!” But then the adults are thinking, “I can’t wait until I retire and have some free time.”

B. Kids can’t wait to get out on their own, so they can do as they please. Young people on their own want the companionship of someone else and can’t wait to get married, but some married people spend their time longing to be free and single again.

II. The problem is a lack of contentment in our lives

A. We aren’t happy with things as they are. We’re convinced that we won’t be happy, that we can’t be happy, until some things change in our situation.

B. How different is Paul’s instruction to Timothy - I Timothy 6:6-8

C. In whatever state - Philippians 4:10-13

III. It is a problem of envy

A. Envy is a desire for what other people have

B. Sometimes we envy the wrong person - Proverbs 3:31

1. We see what the person has, but we ignore how he achieved those things

2. Do we really want to cause others harm to get the same for ourselves? - Proverbs 23:17-18

C. We don’t realize the effect it has on our life - Proverbs 14:30

D. Envy is putting yourself ahead of others - James 3:13-16

1. It is the opposite of meekness where you have no concern for yourself - Philippians 2:3-4

IV. Combating the problem

A. Count your blessings

1. In the song, “Count Your Blessings” by Johnson Oatman, Jr., “When you look at others with their lands and gold, Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold; Count your many blessings, money cannot buy Your reward in Heaven, nor your home on high.”

2. Every good gift comes from heaven - James 1:17

a. Are we not paying attention to what God has given us?

b. Are we only focused on what we think we do not have?

3. Blessings for which to be thankful

a. A home to come to each night

b. Someone to greet you when you come home, family, spouse

c. A job where you can use your abilities.

d. A paycheck to purchase what you need

e. Brethren with whom you can worship

f. Things to laugh about and friends to laugh with

4. When you count your blessings, it become overwhelmingly obvious that we have no need to envy what others have.

B. Be active

1. Idleness leaves us time to feel sorry for ourselves - I Timothy 5:13-15

2. Take advantage of opportunities - Galatians 6:9-10

3. Let people see God through you - Matthew 5:16

C. Ask

1. When there is a true need, God will answer - Matthew 6:8

2. Instead of getting worked up over a matter, bring it to God - Philippians 4:6

3. Sometimes the answer is “no,” but even then we can learn contentment - II Corinthians 12:7-10

V. With these we shall be content

A. Will anyone have everything? Of course not.

B. It is not a question of what you don’t have. It is a matter of what will you do with the things you do have: your talent, your time, your opportunities

C. Make the most of what you have - Ephesians 5:15-17

D. Talk to the lost - Colossians 4:5-6

E. That you may lack nothing - I Thessalonians 4:9-12

1. Not always here on earth, but the treasure we lay up in heaven

2. Are you lacking something? Perhaps salvation or the peace of knowing your Lord?

People Are Just Like Me

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 07 May 2022 21:01:21 +0000

by Doy Moyer

People often assume that others will act, react, and operate on the same basis that they do. If some are liars, they will assume the same of everyone else. If they operate “in the shadows,” they will assume the same of others. If they are the envious type, they will assume that others will also become envious and act accordingly. They are suspicious of everyone because they themselves lack integrity.
I believe this is the mentality that underlies that of the teachers who meant to do Paul harm. Here’s what Paul said in Philippians 1:15-17, “To be sure, some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of good will. These preach out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the others proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, thinking that they will cause me trouble in my imprisonment.”

Notice that these teachers preach out of envy and rivalry. They have selfish ambitions and thought that their success in preaching would cause problems for Paul while he was imprisoned. How so? Likely by thinking that Paul would act the same way they do. Paul would become envious out of his own selfish ambition and thereby suffer at the success of others.

However, as is also common among those who have such bad motives, they misjudged Paul. Paul did not operate on the same basis they did. He was not envious and showed no such self ambition. Paul’s attitude was displayed through his humility, which included rejoicing that truth was being preached. These particular teachers are not said to be teaching errors. Their problem was their motives. “What does it matter? Only that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice” (Philippians 1:18).

One of the reasons we need to root out evil motives in ourselves is that we will invariably attribute the same evil motives to others (Titus 1:15). How we operate becomes, in our minds, how others also operate, and this does an injustice in our attitudes toward those we ought to be loving and serving. “Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (I Corinthians 13:6-7).

Assume the best in others and perhaps that will also speak to pure motives in ourselves. If we have pure motives, we can start by assuming that others do as well. This does not mean everyone will have pure motives, but if we cannot start by giving the “benefit of the doubt,” then our own bitterness will get in the way of being able to develop healthy relationships and serve one another through love.

Love Is … (Sermon)

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 09 Feb 2020 23:40:00 +0000

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Love-Is.mp3

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

Text: I Corinthians 13:1-8

I. Many passages are used for needlepoint samplers. A popular choice is I Corinthians 13:1-8

A. Have you considered the meaning of the many phrases?

B. We often associate this passage with weddings, but Paul was writing about what love between brethren is like

C. However, it can be applied to many other situations:

1. Husbands and wives

2. Parents for their children

3. God's love for each of us

II. The definition of love

A. Patient (longsuffering, a willingness to wait even through difficult times)

1. The best example is God's longsuffering with mankind - Romans 9:22-24

a. Mankind, as a whole, has not been the most lovable of God’s creation

b. Our rebellion would try anyone’s patience

c. But God puts up with the bad in order to save the good - II Peter 3:9

2. It is not an endless tolerance, but it is a very long one, giving every opportunity to improve.

3. We need to learn from the farmers - James 5:7-11

a. We seek after instant gratification

b. We lost something as our economy moved way from agriculture

c. What is worth having is worth investing time to gain

d. It takes time for people to mature, so invest time in the people you love

4. Not every relation goes smoothly. Even the best relationship will have rocky points

a. Resist being impatient during adversity - James 1:2-4

b. Difficulties are bound to come, but they are also bound to be followed by good times.

c. It is patience that helps us last through the bad times so that we are still together during the good times.

5. Too many relationships ende at the first major disagreement

B. Kind (showing yourself useful, acting benevolently)

1. Christians are to kind and compassionate to each other - Ephesians 4:31-32

2. Kindness is more than an absence of ill-will. It is actively showing your care for another person - Luke 6:35-36

3. Not just the major events, but is shown in the little things you do - Romans 12:9-14

C. Not envious (strong feelings for or against)

1. Envy is an infection that eats away at life and ruins the best moments - Proverbs 14:30

2. Envy is believing that what another person has ought to belong to you

3. Joseph was sold because of his brothers' envy - Acts 7:9

a. They saw that Joseph was getting things that they weren’t getting

4. The Jews envied Paul's ability to draw crowds - Acts 13:44-45

5. Love cannot survive when envy invades the soul - Galatians 5:26

D. Does not vaunt itself (doesn't brag, doesn't boast, doesn't cause envy in others)

1. This is the flip-side of not envying.

2. All boasting is evil - James 4:16

3. We should not think too highly of ourselves - Romans 12:3

E. Not puffed up (not proud)

1. Pride goes before destruction - Proverbs 16:18

2. Like boasting, causes strife - Proverbs 28:25

3. It interferes with solving problems

4. Pride was a problem in the Corinthian church. Paul mentions it frequently - I Corinthians 4:6, 18-19

F. Does not behave unseemly (doesn't act unbecoming, is not rude)

1. Yes, love requires good manners.

2. James 4:11 - Don't speak evil of each other

3. Too many joke about others by putting them down

4. We need to appreciate those we are closest too instead of treating them with contempt

G. Seeks not her own (not looking out for self, not worshiping oneself)

1. Love is for other people, not yourself

2. We have enough people who act as if they are the center of the universe

3. A sign of the decay of society when men are lovers of themselves - II Timothy 3:1-2

4. Others come first - Philippians 2:3-4; I Corinthians 10:24, 33

H. Not easily provoked (not easily provoked or exasperated)

1. When you truly love someone, it should be difficult to become exasperated at the.

a. Unfortunately, you find some who always find fault - Proverbs 25:24

2. Love is willing to overlook the little annoyances that are bound to occur - James 1:19-20

3. When you do get angry, settle the problem quickly - Ephesians 4:26-27

I. Thinks no evil (doesn't take inventory, keeps no record of wrong)

1. In any relationship, there will be missteps. Given time, you are bound to say something or do something you wish you had not done.

2. We must understand and learn to forgive - Luke 17:4

a. Forgiveness is not dependant on how many times a wrong was committed in the past.

b. Each event is to be looked at separately and independently

3. Imagine asking God for forgiveness, only to be told you used up your quota - Colossians 3:12-14

4. To forgive is to let go of the past - Jeremiah 31:34

5. It is not that the memory of the event disappears, but that it no longer matters because it is not brought up

J. Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in truth

1. Do you derive satisfaction to someone stumble? It is wrong, but sometimes we feel a glee when someone we dislike falls on hard times - Proverbs 24:17-18

a. Worse is being happy at the failings of someone we are supposed to love

b. Seeing brethren doing what is right and helpful should fill us with joy - II John 4

2. Our concern should be in the salvation of those we love

3. “If you love me, you would ...” do something that was wrong.

a. Such is not love but self-interest

K. Bears all things (to cover with silence, protects, to roof over)

1. There are going to be times that the person you love injures you.

2. Hopefully the problem is solved and the person forgiven - James 5:20

3. This goes a step further than not keeping records of wrong. We realize that sinning causes guilt and embarrassment

4. To love someone is to help them deal with the consequences of sin after you have forgiven them - Psalms 32:1

5. It does the person no good to further drag them through the mud of their own making - Proverbs 10:12

6. When you love someone, you go through the bad times with them

L. Believes all things (trust, faith)

1. Love is built on a foundation of trust

2. There is an old song "When You're in Love with a Beautiful Woman" that illustrates the opposite of this phrase.

a. The writer claimed that you have to watch her every move because you never know when she might cheat on you

b. There was not trust in that relationship

3. There must be trust in each other. We must also be trustworthy.

M. Hopes all things (expects improvement, doesn't despair)

1. Optimism, not pessimism

2. Expect the best and look forward to better times

3. Even if this world disappoints, there is a better place awaiting us - Hebrews 11:13-16; 13:14

N. Endues all things (stands up under loads, remains)

1. Doesn't quit or give up even when life is a burden

2. The righteous is like a tree with plenty of water - Psalms 1:3

a. God's word sustains us through good and bad times

3. The idea "if it doesn't work, we'll just leave" is foreign to the Christian

a. I’ve seen it in marriages and in congregations

b. People stay so long as things go smoothly

4. All parties must work to continue

O. Never fails (won't stop because of bad times or good times)

1. You don’t fall in and out of love.

2. Love endures. Love grows.

III. Note that love takes effort and is often difficult because the one being may not, at the moment, be deserving of love

A. Love isn’t a feeling, it is the work a person puts into a relationship

B. It is why everything else in Christianity is worthless without love

Attitudes

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 24 May 2019 21:25:48 +0000

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Attitudes.mp3

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

Text: Philippians 3:7-16

I. Many Christians understand that acts of immorality will keep them out of heaven, but many don’t realize that our attitude or disposition is important in determining our outcome as well.

A. What is your attitude?

1. Sometimes we hear someone say “he has an attitude!”

2. I use to work for a man with the nickname “Yosemite Sam” because of his disposition. He was always grouchy and cantankerous, though the majority was for show. He had an attitude!

B. Attitude

1. The posture or position of a person showing or meant to show a mental state, emotion, or mood.

2. The manner of acting, feeling, or thinking that shows one’s disposition, opinion, etc.

C. There are numerous passages that discuss our attitudes. There are many passages which instructs us to watch our disposition.

D. Attitudes are important in getting along with other people

1. Few people like to be around someone who is always complaining.

2. I get nervous being around people who can’t control their anger. You always wondering when the next eruption will take place.

3. Attitudes are often the catalyst for divorces and congregation splitting.

E. Attitudes are hard to change, but they must be changed if we expect to conform ourselves to God’s will.

II. Ingratitude

A. “You’re crossing a street when suddenly a huge truck comes right at you. You’re petrified. You know this is it. All at once a man grabs you and pushes you out of the way just as the truck speeds by. You get up, look at the man, who is lying on the ground breathing hard from exhaustion, dust yourself off and walk away. That is ingratitude!”

B. II Timothy 3:2-5 - In this list is the sin of being ungrateful.

1. Some people go through life never appreciating what they have. They are always dissatisfied with everything and everybody.

C. Christians can show ingratitude

1. Ignoring their responsibilities, they are saying “I don’t care all that much that Jesus died on the cross for me.”

2. Being too tired to attend a worship service - think about Jesus

3. If you feel like complaining about going to a special Bible study - think about God

III. Selfishness

A. “A husband and father spends every available dollar on his fishing boat. Every chance he gets he goes on a fishing trip with his buddies. During the summer months it is practically every weekend and several week nights. Once, his wife asks him if he could take the family to a circus that was coming to town next weekend. The husband begins to rant and rave about how he can’t afford it. Besides, he has a fishing trip next weekend. That is selfishness!”

B. Selfishness is why many marriages fail. Husbands and wives are too busy trying to figure out what they can get out of the relationship instead of what they can put into the marriage.

C. Philippians 2:4 - look out for the interests of others

D. Selfishness can divide a congregation. Listen how often arguing brother talk about what I want instead of what their brethren need.

IV. Stubbornness

A. “A mother repeatedly told her little boy to sit down. The boy continued to stand, disobeying his mother. Finally, the mother plopped him down in a chair. Fuming, the boy said, “I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside! That is stubbornness.”

B. Some people just can’t admit that they are wrong.

C. Deuteronomy 9:27 - The Israelites sin at Mt. Sinai was due to their stubbornness

D. Judges 2:19 - Following God means we can’t stubbornly hold onto our old lives.

E. Romans 2:5 - The Jews would not admit the Gentile’s salvation because of their stubbornness.

V. Discontent

A. “There was once an elderly woman who complained about everything. The preacher of the congregation she attended would occasionally stop by and visit her. During each visit the poor preacher was subjected to a long speech about how terrible life was. During one visit, the preacher noticed how well the woman’s apple orchard was doing. The trees were full of beautiful red apples. Finally the preacher thought he had found something about which the old woman could not complain. However, he was flabbergasted when she said, ‘I won’t have any rotten ones for the pigs.’ That is discontent!”

B. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to better oneself, but it must be tempered with contentment. There are times when we must be satisfied with what we have.

C. Philippians 4:11-13 - learn to be content

VI. Envy

A. “George dropped out of high school when he was 17 to begin work at the local factory. His parents had urged him to remain in high school so he could get a diploma, However, at the time George thought school was just a lot of foolishness. Later, he married a local young woman and eventually they had three kids. For twenty years, George had worked long hard hours at the plant and he had very little to show for it. He never when back to school to get his GED. In fact, he had done very little to improve himself. Consequently, he turned into a bitter, miserable human being. In contrast, his brother Jim had remained in school and even continued into college, receiving a degree in business management. He was the plant manager at the very plant George worked. Jim and his wife owned a beautiful home and had a lovely family.

Every time George saw his brother at the plant he was filled with hateful feelings. He hated Jim. George didn’t think it was fair that his younger brother had done so much better in life than he did. Jim would always try to stop by George’s station and speak with him, but George would always look the other way, refusing to speak. That’s envy!”

B. Galatians 5:21 - envy is a work of the flesh

C. Envy is feeling sorry for yourself and having hard feelings toward others who are more fortunate than you.

D. Consider Cain’s envy of Abel. Instead of improving himself, Cain’s envy led him to killing his “competition”.

VII. What kind of attitude do you cultivate?

How do I stop being envious of my friend?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 13 Apr 2016 00:37:00 +0000

Question:

Hello Sir,

I had a question about trying not to compare myself to my friend. Any advice is welcome!

My friend and I are very similar. I don't think I've ever had a friend so alike to me! We're both in college and graduating this year. She got a full academic scholarship to college, whereas I had to take out loans. I had a lot of severe physical health complications that impacted my grades during college whereas she is perfectly healthy. I have an average GPA (which dropped because of my health) whereas she has a 4.0 GPA. I have to study like crazy for my science classes whereas she barely studies and still does better than I. I took the entrance exam twice and did average whereas she studied for a month (the recommended time is 3-4 months) and did extremely well. We both applied to graduate school this cycle, and I didn't get in whereas she did. This fall she is going to be a student at an elite school and while I am happy for her, I can't help but feel insecure.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous, I don't have any malicious feelings toward her. I'm just envious of her because everything she has (good health, good grades without a lot of effort, going to graduate school on the first try) I want! Everything seems to come so easy for her but everything seems to be such a struggle for me. I've tried to tell myself to stop comparing but it's gotten so bad to the point where I avoid going on Facebook just so I don't have to see her updates about graduate school

I believe I can make it too someday and am taking the necessary steps to get there, I just wish it could come easier for me as it does for her. I've never been in this situation before - ever! I'm always used to being the friend to who everyone is compared, not the other way around, so this is new for me.

Please help me -- how do I fix this? How do I stop comparing? Thank you in advance!

Answer:

"Love does not envy" (I Corinthians 13:4).

The problem is that you judge your personal value by comparing yourself to other people. This is always flawed because there are always people better and worse than you. Such comparisons never give you an accurate assessment of who you are or what you are capable of doing.

While you start out talking about how similar you are to your friend, the truth is that you are not similar in intellect -- she outpaces you. It doesn't mean you are dumb. It doesn't mean you are worth less. It only means that studying and learning come easy to her. That's her gift and she is using it well in a worthy field.

Yes, you'll have to work harder for your degree. It might take you a bit longer to get where you want to be. So? Along the way, you'll be forced to develop good work habits. You'll have to learn more about financial responsibility. While hard lessons, they will benefit you. And, by the way, you don't have to settle for a massive debt if you are willing to be frugal and work hard. [Rachel Cruze, "5 Ways to Pay For College Without Loans", DaveRamsey.com].

Now in regards to your friend, focus on your friendship. Cheer her on! "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15). Tell her she is doing a great job and mention nothing about yourself. Find other things also to encourage her about. Make it so that in the years to come she can look back and say that she is so glad that you were her friend.

"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).

Now is the time to conquer the pride you've developed over the years and demonstrate to yourself and others what true humility is. The test comes, not when everything is easy, but when it is difficult.