drunkenness – La Vista Church of Christ

If Alcoholism Is a Disease

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 17:52:59 +0000

Author Unknown

It is the only disease that is contracted by an act of the will.
It is the only disease that requires a license to propagate it.
It is the only disease that is bottled and sold.
It is the only disease that requires more than half a million outlets to spread it.
It is the only disease that provides revenue for the government.
It is the only disease that provokes crime.
It is the only disease that is spread by advertising.
It is the only disease that is habit-forming.
It is the only disease without a germ or virus cause, and for which there is no corrective medicine.
It is the only disease that bars the patient from Heaven.

Now, do you believe alcoholism is a disease?

My husband has been drinking and cheating, and I don’t know what to do

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 13 Sep 2025 19:45:26 +0000

Question:

Good morning, sir,

I hope you are well. Please be patient with me. Life turns on me, and I end up not knowing even that which I thought I knew.

I am crying as I type this. I am caring for my youngest child while I work a full-time job from home. I'm also taking classes. Today, I am on a study leave because I have a test tomorrow, for which I have barely prepared. I managed to get my children to live with my husband and me, instead of with my mom, who is several hours away. My son was baptized with the help of the church leaders in our local congregation.

A few years ago, my father-in-law passed away. When I reflect on this, I realize my marriage has not been the same after that event.

A few days ago, I looked at my husband's phone and saw he was texting women, flirting with some of them, and drinking with some of them. He had a phone number, which I assume belonged to a woman, with whom he seemed to be video calling daily, and more than once a day.

Previously, a woman called my husband while we were traveling. This woman called him for three hours straight. He claimed they are just friends, but I don't think that even I, as his wife, would feel so entitled to call him, to the point of calling him for three hours straight. Soon after that, he started to have weekends when he wouldn't sleep at home.

Nonetheless, I stayed. My husband was never sorry or anything, but for my sake, I decided to forgive him while he was not sorry. I begged him to stop. He promised that he would. However, earlier this year, he started sleeping away from home again. He claimed to have been with his friends. Throughout the year, on weekends, I wonder if he will sleep at home or not. Now, seeing those chats with women made me realize that this man no longer loves me. I now look back and realize that he was never sorry because he didn't believe he had done anything wrong.

Perhaps I should leave the house with the children so he can be with these women. But where do I go with children who are currently in school? They can't just change schools in the middle of the school year. I certainly would not be able to afford to pay for everything if I leave.

What is more painful is that I love my husband. I am ready to forgive him, if only he were sorry and repentant. But he is not. So do I stay and let him treat me like a doormat? I am afraid that if I stay, I am going to end up resenting him, that our marriage is not going to be a safe place anymore. This is hurting me emotionally and is affecting my mental health.

My husband has become what I left my ex for: cheating and drinking alcohol. But my husband is a Christian. I don't know why or how he lives in sin and attends church on Sunday as if all is well. I am not judging him, but how am I expected to worship in the same congregation with him?

Last year, I told my father about my husband's behavior, and my father suggested we get counseling from the church, which we did last year. It seems it was all in vain. No changed behavior at all. At this point, I think my husband doesn't respect our leadership in the local congregation anymore. He doesn't respect God anymore. The things of God take the back seat. He would rather take time off to be with his friends (non-Christians) than take time off for a church event.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you in advance, sir.

Kind regards.

Answer:

Your husband calls himself a Christian, but he is not following Christ. It sounds like you've tried to help him change, but he isn't interested. Thus, you need to make up your mind. You can choose to divorce him because of his sexual sins (Matthew 19:9). With that choice, you'll need to consider where you and the children will live. You might want to consider living with or near your parents so that they can help with the care of the children.

Staying silent about your husband's sins is not helping him change. You should be talking to the elders at your church since he is not listening to you. Perhaps they will be able to help him. If he refuses to listen to the church, then he will likely be withdrawn from until he gives up his sins.

Was Noah Sinning?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 07 May 2025 02:29:07 +0000

by Perry Hall

In Genesis 9, Noah gets drunk. Ham's actions follow, leading to a curse. Noah was not cursed. Was drunkenness, therefore, not a sin?

This is a good example of allowing Scripture to interpret Scripture, specifically showing how Genesis Narratives help explain other Genesis Narratives. The Bible keeps telling the same stories, just with different settings.

So, back to Genesis 9. Was drunkenness a sin? Notice these sequential events:

Action - Noah gets drunk.
Effect - Noah gets naked.
Consequence - A curse is placed on Ham and his descendants for his shameful actions toward his father.
Grace - The sons cover their father's nakedness.

Now go back to Genesis 3.

Action - Eve and Adam eat from the forbidden tree.
Effect - They now notice their nakedness and are ashamed.
Consequence - Curses are placed on the serpent, Eve, and Adam.
Grace - God makes coverings out of animal skins.

The similarities show that if Adam and Eve's actions were sinful, Noah's getting drunk was also sinful.

When Is One Drunk?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 21 Jan 2024 00:37:01 +0000

by Terry Wane Benton

We knew when we were children that when we spun around a little while and then stopped, but the world seemed to keep moving, we were “drunk.” When we lost our balance, we were “drunk.” No, we were not drunk by drinking liquor, but we were unstable due to the motion sensors of our brains. Now, we did not have to fall down drunk, just the spinning sensation was enough to know we were not balanced. We were drunk, motion drunk.

Now, how does this relate to the subject of alcohol consumption? Did you know that you begin to get drunk with a half glass of alcohol? In an article titled "The 6 Stages of Getting Drunk" by Dr. Izak Loftus, there is the first stage that we want to consider in light of our need to be sober-minded as the Bible teaches. We will give the doctor’s quote first so that you can know what to expect from the first drink of alcohol from a physical and mental perspective. After this, we will consider the biblical demands of sobriety at all times.

"The jovial phase

Drinking less than half a glass of alcohol an hour is enough to suppress the functions of the frontal lobes which control your inhibitions, self-control, willpower, ability to judge and concentration.

When this part of the brain is being suppressed you have fewer inhibitions, your self-confidence is boosted, you become more jovial and daring and you talk more - and louder. All of this explains why alcohol is considered an excellent social lubricant.

This effect can be detected at a blood alcohol level as low as 0.01 g/100 ml, which is easily reached by drinking less than half a glass an hour. It's way below the legal limit of 0.05 g/100 ml.

Believe it or not, at this stage your judgement is diminished and your personality has been sufficiently altered to increase your risk of dying an unnatural death - as a result of an accident or fight, for example."

Now, the conscientious Christian knows that self-control, willpower, and the ability to judge and concentrate are very important. The works of the flesh are hard enough to combat without opening the door just a little. The Bible condemns “drinking parties” and “revelry” before it even gets to the condemnation of “drunkenness.” Romans 13:12 says to “put on the armor of light”. Don’t take off the guarded condition of being in God’s light. Then Romans 13:13 says to “walk properly, as in the day.” In the day we are aware, the light of day exposing things more clearly to us. That is the condition our mind should be in at all times, but “walking properly” means that you know where you are stepping, and you see where you are going. Then he says, “not in revelry”, which is usually the first stage of drunkenness where you do not see or care what comes out of your mouth, and what you have opened the door to, or where this is leading you. Now, Christians are to be careful what they say and what they do, but the first drink of alcohol works against your self-control. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22f) and staying in tune with the Spirit is how you keep your self-control, including the things you will say. The first drink opens the door to “revelry”. This word has a core meaning of letting loose the inhibitions or reluctance to say or do something. The doctors said the first half glass of alcohol diminishes your judgment and your personality.

But, please notice that revelry and drunkenness are to be avoided because it opens the door to “the works of darkness.” In Romans 13:14 the Spirit commands that we “make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” Did you get that? All the arguments in the world can never justify making a provision for the flesh to impair our judgment and loosen our self-control and godly inhibitions.

Our fleshly lusts need to be controlled. They need to be inhibited by our conviction to walk with the armor of light, to walk properly, to walk with good judgment, and to see where our next steps will be. When you drink that first half glass of alcohol you have made provision for the flesh. You have given the flesh the opening it desires to weaken your principles and priorities in favor of sin. In the doctor’s article, we don’t even need to know what step two is. Step one is already “making provision for the flesh” and already clouding our judgment. Say no more! We don’t need that! We need to hold on to our soberness of mind and heart. Knowing what happens in step one, I cannot encourage drinking alcohol for pleasure, especially when my influence among others needs to be controlled and guarded. While the social drinkers are loosening their inhibitions, do I really need to be among them loosening mine too? To ask that question is to answer it if you are serious about walking properly in soberness.

"Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation" (I Thessalonians 5:6-8 NKJV).

"Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (I Peter 1:13 NKJV). Do we need to loosen the loins of our minds? We need, rather, to gird up the loins of our minds. That means strengthening the determination to use good judgment and make godly decisions. The Bible demands carefulness, not carelessness. Control, good judgment, and awareness of dangers are all part of sobriety!

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith" (I Peter 5:8 NKJV). Give Satan an inch and he’ll take a mile! Play close to the fire and you will get burned! The Proverb writer warned us not to even look at that drink that hooks us and diminishes our judgment (Proverbs 23:31).

How drunk can we lawfully get? At what stage do we begin to enter into sin? If the doctor’s journal is correct, and we have no cause to doubt it, our greatest concern is over the first drink. If Satan can just get us to take the first one, he knows he can loosen our will to reject a second one, and the alcohol is only beginning to make its way into our bodies.

The full effects of that first drink can’t be judged at the moment of swallowing it. It washes through your brain in slow increments, and by the time you decide it is not going to do anything, you take another while the first is beginning its effect. In other words, you cannot make a good judgment about the effects of the one as to what it is going to do. I know that if I don’t drink the first one, my judgment will stay in place.

When do we begin to get drunk? At stage one with the first half glass or less. I don’t know how serious you take sin, or how serious you take the need for sober-mindedness, but I cannot see that making an opening for my judgment to be slightly impaired is a good idea at all. Make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts! Our guarded stance should be to be very careful about when one begins to drunken the judgment. The doctor concurs that it is the first half glass. I know how to avoid beginning that process. Do you?

The Cost of Drinking Alcohol

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 20 Jan 2022 21:45:19 +0000

by Dennis Abernathy

I recently read that alcoholism is costing our society around twenty-five billion dollars annually, including millions yearly just to arrest, try, and jail drinkers. Furthermore, alcohol is to blame for nearly half of all traffic fatalities and homicides, and a fourth of all suicides in the state of Texas. By the way, just one ounce of alcohol retard’s muscular reaction17%. It increases the time required to make a decision by 9% and increases errors due to lack of attention by 35%. For example, tests show that after drinking three bottles of beer, there is an average net memory loss of 13%. Trained typists, for instance, were tested and their errors increased 40% after taking only small quantities of alcohol. Those who claim to be only “social drinkers,” who drink “responsibly” need to pay attention. Alcohol consumption causes one to act irresponsibly. Others who say they can exercise self-control when drinking alcohol need to understand that imbibing alcohol causes one to lose self-control!

Sir William Osler, a Canadian physician, was lecturing one day on alcohol, and a student asked: “Is it true that alcohol makes people able to do things better?” “No,” replied Osler, “It just makes them less ashamed of doing them badly.”

The Bible says, “Wine is a mocker, intoxicating drink arouses brawling, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise” (Proverbs 20: 1). Proverbs 23:29-35 paints an accurate portrait of what drinking alcohol will do to a person, and it is not a pretty picture. The ruined lives of millions of people are a continuing testimony of what alcohol consumption will do. It is a terrible monster that ruins lives, destroys families, and opposes the good of the community. The alcohol commercials advertise alcohol’s relation with the good life and are very enticing, but in the end, it “bites like a poisonous snake,” and leads to addiction, shame, and disaster.

Think on these things.

I repent, but every week I go out, party, and get drunk

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 25 May 2018 01:24:00 +0000

Question:

Good day in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ,

I have a problem. I am saved, well I think I'm saved. I repent every week after drinking and partying with friends. After a night of binge drinking, I wake up the next day feeling very anxious and thinking that God won't forgive me because I do it every week and then repent. It's an ongoing cycle that I really want to break. I feel like God has left me. There are times I even feel suicidal thinking that He won't ever forgive me.

Please help. Thank you.

Answer:

God has not left you. You have left God. "Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear" (Isaiah 59:1-2).

The sin you are involved in is called "revelries" or "carousing" in the Bible. It is partying and binge drinking. "Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries" (I Peter 4:1-3). It is wrong because a Christian must remain sober at all times. "But you, brethren, are not in darkness, that the day would overtake you like a thief; for you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night, and those who get drunk get drunk at night. But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ" (I Thessalonians 5:4-9).

The simple fact is that you cannot reach heaven while living a life of periodic drunkenness. "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). While you are sorry after you sin, you have yet to repent, which means changing both your mind about the acceptability of the sin and changing your behavior. "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11). Notice especially verse 11. You don't demonstrate a drive to change; thus, you have not repented of your sin.

It isn't that God won't accept you back, but you have to change -- radically. No one is going to force this change on you. You must choose to change. To change, you can't continue doing the same things and expect different results.

Question:

Thank you for your response to my e-mail. You said I have to repent of my sin, especially drinking, so how do I repent and where do I go for help in regard to my drinking?

If you can, I would really like you to please pray for me. Thank you.

Answer:

Repentance means you have a radical change in both your behavior and your attitude toward your behavior. "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11). Thus, since drunkenness is a sin, you stop going out to parties where drinking is the main draw. You replace it with good things: Go on camping trips, go to church services, do volunteer work, etc. In other words, you become a person other people would admire instead of seeing you as an uncontrollable drunk.

Question:

Good day,

Thank you again for your reply. I just wanted to know the difference between the sorrow of the world that produces death and the sorrow that is according to the will of God that produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation.

I also have another question that I would really want you to answer: Is there still hope for me and can I still make it to Heaven?

Thank you.

Answer:

The sorrow of the world produces no changes. For example, there are a lot of people in prison who are sorry that they are there, sorry that they were caught, and sorry that they did something wrong the last time. However, once they are out of prison, they go right back doing the things that got them into prison previously. Despite all the sorrow, there is no commitment to repent.

Godly sorrow is an admission that I was wrong and can't continue living my old life. It is a commitment to change radically. Even if I might slip up, I am committed to continuing my changed life. That attitude and behavior lead to salvation.

While you continue to live, there is hope for a better tomorrow. "For whoever is joined with all the living, there is hope; surely a live dog is better than a dead lion" (Ecclesiastes 9:4). And, yes, you can make it to heaven. After listing out a number of sins that can keep a person out of heaven, including drunkenness (I Corinthians 6:9-10), Paul goes on to say: "Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:11). There were former drunkers in the church at Corinth, but they became true Christians and no longer were involved in those things. I personally know people who have left drinking to become sincere followers of Christ. Therefore, if you are willing to change, you can make it to heaven.

Will having sex outside of marriage keep me out of heaven?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 27 Sep 2015 20:26:00 +0000

Question:

Hello Minister,

My question is regarding sex before marriage.

I want to be clear that I know it is against God's Word to partake in such activities. I am 21 and have been a virgin all my life, avoiding temptations wherever I go. Last week my mates and I drank too much. By the end of the night, I found myself with a girl and I ended up sleeping with this girl. This has never happened to me before as I would always avoid the situation or tell the girl that I do not have sex. I am surprised by myself that I let this happen and never felt so ashamed in my life. I have always had a close relationship with the Lord, and have been a good boy throughout college. Which brings me to my question: Will this one wrong ruin my chance to get into heaven?

Answer:

All sins, including those you committed, can be forgiven when a Christian repents of his sins (II Corinthians 7:10-11) and confesses his sins to God (I John 1:9). The point of "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10) is that you cannot expect to remain in your sins and make it to heaven. As Paul told the Corinthians in the next verse, "Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:11). If you left sin to become a child of God, how can anyone think that continuing is some sins will let you into heaven?

Notice that sin did not begin with you crawling into bed with a girl. As Paul pointed out, being a drunkard will also keep you out of heaven. That is because when you are drunk you don't think clearly. "But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this Day should overtake you as a thief. You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ" (I Thessalonians 5:4-9). This is also why Peter warned, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (I Peter 5:8). Because you were drunk, it wasn't hard for Satan to get you naked in bed with a girl.

All forms of drinking are to be avoided by Christians because of the spiritual dangers that can result. "Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles -- when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries" (I Peter 4:1-3). See Old Testament Beverages and New Testament Beverages for more details.

I try not to drink or fornicate, I still end up doing it, and I really need help

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 09 Nov 2014 02:23:00 +0000

Question:

Hello!

I have a question about getting away from sin. I have been struggling for a few years in certain areas and I have come to the point where I am ready to change but at the same time as much as I try not to drink or fornicate, I still end up doing it, and I really need help.

Answer:

"And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:11-14).

There are two halves to being a Christian. One is dealing with avoiding sin ("cast off the works of darkness"), but there is an equally essential part: learning to do what is right ("put on the armor of light"). If all you do is work at removing sin from your life, you will only be temporarily successful. "When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation" (Matthew 12:43-45). Emptying your life of sin leaves an empty spot just waiting to be filled by something. If you do nothing else, it will be filled by sin -- not by the same amount of sin that used to be there, but more sin than was there originally. Therefore, to approach being a Christian successfully, you need to fill up your life with righteous things, so that you don't have time for sin ("make no provision for the flesh").

So, get busy doing the good things in life. Be determined that sin no longer has a place in your life. That means you cannot approach this as only sinning "a little bit." There is no compromising with sin. "Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil" (I Thessalonians 5:20-21).

Along with this, you will have to examine your current friendships. "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4). If your friends are sinning, they will pull you back into sin. They won't understand that you want to change. They see nothing wrong with what they are doing, so they will pressure you to join them. "Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits"" (I Corinthians 15:33). You need godly friends who will pull you up and away from sin.

Did I cheat on my boyfriend when I had sex with two guys while drunk?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 02:42:00 +0000

Question:

I am currently engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever met. We do have a rough history, but I'm worried I may have ruined our future. We originally dated for a couple of months a few years ago but ended because I had confessed to him about seeing my ex whom I had broken up with not even a month prior to starting to date my current boyfriend. We got back together as long as I promised that would never happen again.

Four months after we got back together, I managed to get very drunk and my friend was high. I called a guy to pick me up and take me home. I remember telling him "no," but I guess I didn't try hard enough because we ended up having sex anyway.

Something similar happened again where I kept telling a guy "no," but he did it anyway. He never finished because I was finally able to push him off, but now I'm worried that this is considered the same. I didn't want it to happen, but it did anyway.

All of this happened before I became engaged. I'm scared that it would be considered close enough to cheating even though I would never do it sober. He has never asked me again if I have been loyal and never questions me, but there is guilt and I feel I am losing touch with God because of it. I feel guilty when I try to praise Him, and where I once heard His voice all I hear now is what has happened in my past. What do I do?

Answer:

The simple answer is "stop sinning." You pretend to be Christian while ignoring God's laws. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). This isn't just about your sexual sins, which I assume you are also committing with your fiance. You are sinning in many other ways, and then you wonder if God is hearing your prayers. "The LORD is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous" (Proverbs 15:29).

Sin is hard enough to resist, but you invite it into your life when you get drunk or use drugs. "You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ" (I Thessalonians 5:5-9). While you didn't want to have sex with these men, you left yourself without defenses by getting drunk. It doesn't excuse what these men did, but you ended up in the situation because of your sins.

Become a real Christian, a new person who is free from sin. "Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin" (Romans 6:3-7). You might regret the time you wasted in the past, but at least you will not you are not that person anymore.

My husband is a drunk and dying. I don’t want to divorce him. Any advice?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 01:30:00 +0000

Question:

My question is that my husband is an alcoholic, to point of now he has cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis C. He is in the end stages of his liver hardening. I have put my trust in Jesus the Father, for which I am grateful. He has been there for me more times than I can count on Him. I also have a suspicion that my husband does not truly believe in Jesus.

I have read about how we are to be submissive to our husband's and I do try (but I am human) and sometimes he forces me to be the one to lead the family. He is unattached. I have made it or rather the Lord has made it to where he is on disability because he can no longer work, so I am the primary provider for the family. He does nothing but continues to drink every day (which is killing him quicker). He says that he has lived his life and is ready to go.

The other problem is how he alienated everyone in our family around him, even our daughter is now taking the brunt of his anger. He calls her names like you are retarded, you are so stupid, lazy, even some of the names I will not put in this email. I try to get on to him, that he shouldn't speak to her like that. He tells me to shut up; he will do whatever he pleases.

Now I do love him and I do understand that he had a rough life, He spent 16 years just in prison for different things. He does not do drugs, but he will not give up drinking. God has been talking to Him for a long time (at least that is the way I put it to him). "If you don't listen to what God is trying to tell you He will try another way and if you still don't listen He will leave you alone, and then you will know it." The first sign was several years ago when he got put in jail for DWI. He was never convicted of it and somehow it just dropped off his record (tell me that is not the Spirit working), then he gets another one and his employer pays for a lawyer to take care of that case, without even asking for it back. He straightened up partially, then he went back to drinking. Then one morning he was throwing up blood. I rushed him to the Emergency Room. They put him in the hospital and then came out to tell me that he had cirrhosis of the liver and his liver was already hardening. He has been in and out of the hospital 3 or 4 times. Each time it was because I begged him to go to Emergency Room because he wasn't doing well. I finally gave it all to the Lord, even though the human part of me wants to help and make it easier for the Lord, which I cannot do -- only He can.

I do not want to divorce him. I still love him. He is the father of my child. I don't want her to grow up without a daddy or for her to look at me and say you took my daddy away. What Bible verses will give me the direction in which I need to go? I'm looking to do the Lord's way, not mine?

Thank you.

Answer:

That your husband is not a follower of God is a given. There is no need to pretend any different. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).

Hepatitis C is gained from an exchange of blood, usually needles. He didn't get this from drinking. Somewhere in his past, he exposed himself to the blood of someone who had hepatitis C.

To say your husband had a hard life is misleading. People have hard lives because of circumstances beyond their control happened to them. Your husband's difficulties have always been of his own doing. He repeatedly sinned and broke laws. He suffered the consequences of his sins. The times he got away with his sins were not due to God. Your husband wasn't following God and had no intentions of repenting of his sins. "The LORD is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous" (Proverbs 15:29).

You are a patient woman to put up with such a man. He got more than he deserved in you. But I'm glad you are willing to care for him until the end, despite his many flaws.