Church Discipline

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I.         Each congregation of the Lord’s people has the right and the responsibility to control its membership             A.        Ideally, each congregation is composed of faithful Christians. Because of their common beliefs and shared work, they are joined together in serving God.             B.        However, we understand that just because a person wears the name of…

Read More

When does discipline become abuse?

Question: When does discipline cross the line and become abuse? My cousin hit her son in the chest with a closed fist as a form of discipline. It was her non-dominant hand and not with full force. Admittedly, her son has behavior issues and didn’t seem too fazed by my cousin’s actions aside from holding…

Read More

Thanks for making your site available

Question: Hey, I was writing because I was someone who was raised in a strict Christian home by my grandparents.  When I was younger, I found your website and I found it very helpful to understand fully the kind of discipline I received and why it was something to be appreciated even if it wasn’t…

Read More

Do non-Christians get chastened by God?

Question: “But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons” (Hebrews 12:8). I’m struggling with this verse just a bit. Do non-Christians get chastened (disciplined)? I’m not sure, because of the second phrase “of which all have become partakers”. Is the “all” just Christians, or…

Read More

Discipline in the Home

by Irven Lee Truth Magazine, February 17, 1983 Children do not have the ability at birth to understand the language of their parents. We all realize this, but we should also understand that these little people do not know the commonly accepted rules of etiquette, nor do they recognize property rights. Each child seems to…

Read More

You Must Rule Over It

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/You-Must-Rule-Over-It.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Genesis 4:1-12   I.         Ask a person why they gave into a particular sin and the most common rely is: “I don’t know. I couldn’t help myself.”             A.        Losing control in the face of temptation has been around since the beginning.                         1.         God even warned Cain that he had to master his…

Read More

The Lord’s Discipline

by Matthew W. Bassford Hebrews 12:5-13 makes a crucial but underappreciated point. The life of the Christian can be unpleasant, and sometimes, the One who is making it unpleasant is God. This is at odds with the worldly vision of God as an indulgent grandparent who does nothing but shower gifts upon us. However, it…

Read More

What My Parents Taught Me

by Jefferson David Tant Vanguard Magazine, November 1982 All parents teach their children — consciously, subconsciously, positively, negatively, by example, by word. Children are even taught to be what their parents fail to teach. In our generation, many parents have abdicated their teaching roles to TV, schools, their children’s peers, and other influences. I am…

Read More

Today’s Child Experts: “Punishment Does Not Help”

by Mark Roberts Journalist Betsy Flagler writes the syndicated “Parent to Parent” column that asks readers to write in with parenting problems and then tries to get expert help to those troubles. A mother in California recently wrote in that her first-grader has been pushing and hitting, been kicked out of the library, and all…

Read More

How do I find someone to spank my teenage son?

Question: Hello, I have a question. I’m a single mother of a 16-year-old boy and I don’t want to spank him, though he needs it and nothing else seems to work. Any recommendations or ideas of who I could reach out to who might be willing to mentor him? Because I am single, I do…

Read More

A Song of Faith

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/SongOfFaith.mp3 Text: Psalm 23   I.         The most famous psalm is a song about faith.             A.        It weaves in a few brief words the clear message of a special relationship between man and God             B.        It speaks of trust and security in good times and bad. II.        Faith in Times of Quiet – Psalm 23:1-3             A.        The Lord is my…

Read More

My one-year-old son refuses to apologize for hitting

Question: Dear sir, I have a toddler boy who is one year and eight months old. He is my first child. Recently he is learning to speak. I noticed that when he hits family or other toddlers, no matter knowingly or unknowingly, he refuses to apologize. Even worse, he will break whatever he holds in…

Read More

Is Dominate Submissive role-playing bad?

Question: What I am doing does not involve sex. I just want to make that part of it clear This is something that brings in fast money, and I’ve been doing it for almost a year. I just don’t want people thinking I’m having sex for money. Everything done is consensual and agreed upon before…

Read More

My 16-year-old is being disrespectful

Question: I have a 16-year-old son who has been very disrespectful in this household. It’s all because he asked if he could stay with a friend one night and I told him yes. But I called to check on him, and he had gone to a party that had alcohol. He wasn’t drinking, but when…

Read More

Parenting Two and Three-Year-Olds: Limits Tested

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/ParentingTwoAndThreeYearOldsLimits.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hebrews 12:3-14   I.         What parent hasn’t been warned about the terrible twos and threes             A.        The cause of trouble                         1.         No longer completely dependent on parents                         2.         Children can efficiently move about — run, climb, manipulate objects — but they haven’t learned safety.                         3.         They can now express their desires, but they haven’t…

Read More

I want to compliment you on your answers on spanking

Question: Sir, I wanted to compliment you on your answers on spanking. I am not a believer in any faith, but I have my own feeling about morality and social beliefs. I keep hearing about “all these religious people who beat their kids.” Well, I was spanked as a boy, and I spanked my daughter…

Read More

Can I spank my 10-month-old?

Question: Can I spank my 10-month-old? Answer: Discipline starts as soon as a child starts to reach for things he should not touch. A firm but calm “No” followed by a flick on the back of the hand is usually enough to discourage a child. The key is consistency. You need to have your child…

Read More

Am I spoiling my youngest children?

Question: I am nearly sixty and a widower. My wife gave birth early to a set of twins, but she didn’t survive the delivery. I was left with children ranging from 10 years of age to sickly premeies. The twins survived and will be 13 soon. They are intelligent; spoiled brats to be honest! I…

Read More

How does a parent prepare himself for the need to punish?

Question: I have read many of the answers you have given about spanking and while I disagree or am uncomfortable with using anything other than a hand for it, I have seen the positive effects of spanking being part of several punishment options for parents with my friends and their children. I now have my…

Read More

How do I get a more disciplined life?

Question: Hi, I am 17 years old and have been a Christian since I was 8. I have a problem and don’t feel comfortable enough to discuss it with anyone I know personally. Ok, so here is my problem: my parents never punish me for anything. I really am not a bad kid and I…

Read More

Questions about spanking, privacy, and clothing choices.

Question: I have three boys who are actually not my stepsons yet.  Their mother, who is widowed, and I are going to be married in about two weeks. We are maintaining a biblical relationship. However, I am a teacher, so I am free to handle childcare over the summer, where she is not.  In order…

Read More

Does Spanking Cause Lower IQ in Children?

by Sam Stinson “He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24). I like to think that most scientific studies are not politically motivated. However, when I read about studies like the following, I’m forced to rethink this belief. A study recently presented by the International…

Read More

Discipline

https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/2007Fall3Discipline.mp3 by Scott Smelser The Family

Read More

Is it okay to leave the number of swats open-ended?

Question: He finally pushed it too far. Even though he is eleven and never had a spanking, he swore at his mother one too many times and I decided something had to change. My problem is that he struggled as I started to spank him. I told him that if he stayed still for two…

Read More

A rebuttal to “When is a child too old to spank?”

Question: I would like to comment on your article entitled: How do we start biblical discipline when our children are already older? I agree with most of what you have written. I believe that corporal punishment can be very effective if it is done in love, not impulsively and not as a reaction to anger. As…

Read More

How can a parent spank a teenage athlete?

Question: I have read some of the responses to Christian parents questions on spanking their children and teenagers. Many of my friends have trouble with their teenagers and often think of using it. The thing is what would a parent do with a teenager who is athletic, a soccer player, a junior varsity football or…

Read More

Should a child’s personality be considered when disciplining?

Question: We ought to consider our children’s personalities and characters when we seek to discipline them.  What works well for one child may not work for another, even within the same family.  Might spanking be a good form of discipline for one child, but ineffective or damaging to another?  Are there some children who shouldn’t…

Read More

Should I spank my boys for breaking a window?

Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…

Read More

Should I go ahead and spank my son?

Question: How are you doing? I wrote to you about three years ago about our two sons. Well, now the oldest is 16 and just received his license. Our youngest son is 11. We had implemented spanking and following God’s word on the matter. After the first couple of years of talking and seeking your…

Read More

Our son started doing poorly in school

Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…

Read More

How do I appropriately discipline my sons?

Question: First, let me say that I’m glad I found your site and I appreciate your parenting advice. I am a widower with two teenage sons – 17 going on 18 and 14 going on 15. I’ve to come to the point where I need to make some decisions about discipline in our household and…

Read More

What should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?

Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…

Read More

Things are improving in our home, but it is going so slowly!

Question: Thank you! Our home is slowly changing from a battle zone to a loving home. We still struggle, basically, since our 9-year-old acts like a 3 to 5-year-old, then I think she should have 3 to 5-year-old freedoms and choices. These will be earned back as she learns self-control and respect. I’m really needing…

Read More

I discovered one of my stepsons is looking at pornography

Question: I recently discovered that at least one of my stepsons had downloaded pornography on their computer, which is in their shared bedroom. The fourteen-year-old seems to be the guilty culprit, but he won’t own up. The twelve-year-old says it wasn’t him, and I believe him. The law says I’m within my right to beat…

Read More

I’m embarrassed that I spanked my daughter for skipping classes

Question: I am a recently separated mom of three children ages 13, 10 and 8. The older two are girls. My thirteen-year-old really started to act up this school year, only a few months after her father and I separated. She was caught skipping classes twice earlier in the school year. I had to take…

Read More

What is the proper punishment for mishandling funds and lying?

Question: Hello, I am 19 and a sophomore in college, but I still live at home. I have always strived to be a godly person and a hard worker. I was valedictorian of my high school class and captain of two sports teams and earned a college scholarship. I always try to do the “right”…

Read More