contraceptives – La Vista Church of Christ

Flippancy Toward Reproduction

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 01 Mar 2023 19:45:23 +0000

by Andy Diestelkamp

Undoubtedly the invention of the birth control pill fueled "the sexual revolution." The prospect of sexual experience without "consequences" gave women what some men imagined that they already "enjoyed" - freedom! Freedom from responsibilities and the burdens that come with them.

Yet, this stereotypical flippant male mentality which imagines personal freedom from the "consequences" of sex was generally the worldview of the unmarried and unbelievers. A good man, a godly man does not have such an attitude toward sexual reproduction. He marries before he engages in that which our Creator designed to produce babies and views himself as the protector of and provider for and full partner with his wife in the fruits of their union.

Whereas, when those pursuing sexual freedom without inhibition find themselves with the fruit of their freedom, they too often resort to sacrificing their offspring on the altar of their freedom. When people's sexual freedom inevitably resulted in a host of unwanted threats to their freedom, abortion became an essential right to maintain that freedom. With relative flippancy, the fruit of sexual revolutionaries became disposable with no concern whatsoever for the freedoms of their offspring. The sexual revolution produced a flippancy toward sex itself and its natural fruit. Sex essentially became, to many, like food satisfying an appetite, with its "consequences" being flushed down the toilet.

But wait, there's more! Technology has brought us in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and the rich and glamorous have seen its advantages and convenience. Methods that might be ethically used on a very limited basis to help a married couple who is barren have a child, have become the playground of mercenary doctors and technicians pandering to everyone from the desperate to the social elite to create human embryos en masse to sit on ice. Paris Hilton flippantly observed in an interview with Glamour Magazine (UK), “Carter [her husband] and I had already been talking about the future and then the world was shut down [by Covid], so I was like, ‘What do you think about us making embryos?’ And he said, ‘Yeah, let’s do it.’ And we’ve done it seven times… I have all boys. I have 20 boys.”

However, do not misunderstand or be distracted by my specific example. This is not a rant against Paris Hilton. She likely doesn't know any better. It is a warning to those who espouse a worldview with Christ at its center to beware that the flippancy of the world toward sexual reproduction does not in any way influence our way of thinking about God's gifts to us. "Making embryos" is a holy endeavor and to flippantly flush them down the toilet or stock a freezer with them is not only unethical, but it is also immoral, and to endorse it is blasphemy.

My wife refuses to be intimate with me

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 22:07:42 +0000

Question:

I have been married for almost 15 years. I love her to the end of the world. She is going through menopause and it’s been two years since entering her. We have had years of good sex that didn't involve intercourse but all of a sudden she said it’s a sin and I am frustrated.

I have had a vasectomy and my sperm is dead. She has no periods. Thus, I cannot understand after so many years this is happening. Why is it now a sin?

Please help. I’m a member of the Church of England and she’s Roman Catholic. I’m trying to support this with love and affection, but it's hard to come home with no maybe surprise and compassion.

Please help.

Answer:

Roman Catholics believe that things should not be done without purpose. "The Catholic Church teaches that it is a grave sin to deliberately separate sexuality from procreation because the latter is its most essential purpose." (1) Thus, each act of sex must include the possibility, however remote, that pregnancy might occur. "... the couple must be open to life and possible conception. Sexual acts engaged in apart from this circumstance are wrong and sinful." (1)

To this basic claim (that is unsupported by any biblical references) exceptions are allowed. Couples are allowed to time their sexual encounters for periods when the wife is unlikely to become pregnant. "This teaching does not mean that a married couple cannot engage in sexual activities when conception is not possible (such as the infertile periods for a woman or after her menopause). What is prohibited is a deliberate thwarting of a possible conception during fertile periods." (1)

The man-made rule leads to unintended consequences. If getting a vasectomy is a sin and acts of intercourse while sterilized are also considered sinful, then how does a person gain forgiveness? Some Roman Catholics say you only have to express regret, but others see this as too easy of an out so they insist that the person has to go through a Sacrament of Penance. (2) But even this is viewed as allowing someone to commit sin and get away with it, so they insist that the person foregoes sex until his wife reaches menopause or has his vasectomy surgically reversed (even though it is acknowledged that such doesn't usually make a man fertile again). (2)

In Contraceptives, I show that biblically life begins at conception. Therefore, preventing conception is not wrong. Sex has purposes other than procreation according to the Scriptures. Denying this truth is wrong. Paul tells us that sex is an expression of marital affection and a means of controlling sexual desires (I Corinthians 7:2-9). It is expected that couples enjoy sex (Proverbs 5:18-19).

The core problem is that you and your wife are a part of denominations that intermix the teachings of men with biblical teachings. "If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, "Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!" (which all refer to things destined to perish with use) -- in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence" (Colossians 2:20-23). I can point out what the Bible actually teaches, but as long as you put more faith in the teachings of your respective denominations, there isn't anything I can further do.

Sources:

Dave Armstrong, "Sex and Catholics: Our Views Briefly Explained," National Catholic Register, 2 February 2018.
Charles M. Mangan, "Married Couples Who Intentionally Chose Sterilization For Contraceptive Purposes And Lasting Repentance," Catholic Online.

Are surgically based contraceptives wrong?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 17 Dec 2022 19:57:50 +0000

Question:

Is it OK for Christians to use contraceptives and birth control methods such as ligation and vasectomy?

There are some people in the church who have second thoughts on the usage of birth control, specifically ones that are surgical. The argument is that surgery such as ligation and vasectomy alter the body and we are commanded to treat it like a temple because the spirit of God dwells in it. An additional argument is that surgical procedures that aid in the treatment of illnesses are the only ones that are OK because they keep the body healthy. They also argue that circumcision is OK because it is commanded but ligation and vasectomy don’t seem to be approved by the Scriptures.

Another issue is that, it seems or it feels wrong to prevent life from forming and that the only seemingly acceptable form of birth control is the calendar method.

I would appreciate the response.

Answer:

Most of these are answered in Contraceptives.

The argument against surgeries is flawed because so many exceptions have to be covered, such as circumcision and surgeries to correct problems. The two passages you cited (I Corinthians 3 and I Corinthians 6) are talking about staying away from sin, which defiles the temple (ourselves). Paul's arguments are directed toward not using your body to commit sins since your body is where God's presence should be seen.

Response:

Thank you so much brother for your response. I am grateful for your providing a great answer.

Best regards brother!

Is having an operation that leaves you infertile a sin?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 02:39:44 +0000

Question:

Dear brother Jeffrey,

A sister in our congregation asked me if tubal closure for contraceptive purposes is a sin. She already has children and becomes pregnant easily, but she cannot afford to have another child, as both she and her husband are working, and it is already difficult to raise the children they already have.

I asked her if she meant tubal ligation (which is reversible, although not always) or bilateral salpingectomy (which is the removal of both fallopian tubes, which leads to permanent infertility).

My thought is that tubal ligation (reversible) is not a sin, but permanent bilateral salpingectomy for contraceptive purposes (i.e., in the absence of a pathology that requires surgical removal of the tubes, e.g., for cancer or a serious infection that cannot be cured with antibiotics, etc.) could be problematic for a Christian woman. However, it must be said that tubal ligation (reversible) does not completely prevent unwanted pregnancies: it is considered a very reliable method, but not foolproof. The most recent studies report a failure rate of less than 1%. In addition, the risk of ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy outside the uterus) also increases.

However you look at it, the question is a thorny one. What can I tell our sister in faith so that she doesn't do something that is sin in God's eyes?

Thank you for your help in seeking an answer to this question. God bless you.

Answer:

See Contraceptives.

Contraceptives, such as tubal ligation, vasectomies, or similar surgeries (reversible or not) are not sinful. "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it" (Matthew 19:12). Jesus listed out three categories:

People who were born infertile.
People who were made infertile. These would not be reversible as in Jesus' day this often involved removing a man's testicles.
People who choose not to have sex. A choice could be reversed.

All three are acceptable in the kingdom. While the discussion in Matthew 19:12 is about males who are eunuchs, similar arguments would apply to females.

Response:

Thank you very much for your reply. I have passed on the information.

Good job.

God bless.

Your teaching has been an encouragement to me

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 22 May 2020 21:44:10 +0000

Question:

I hope everything is well with you, and I hope God is protecting the Lavista Church of Christ!

I've been encouraged a lot with the teachings about marriage, contraception, etc. I am thankful that God helps me a lot in spiritual growth.

I hope to know more about God, His church, and His Word.

Answer:

It is good to know that the website has been useful to you in your studies.

We are all well here at this time.

The Unwanted

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 01:34:40 +0000

Text: Psalms 10

I. How do we deal with those whom others don’t want?

A. Terri Shiavo made the news and was the focus of attention for numerous months.

1. Her husband no longer wanted to keep her alive. He claimed that she wouldn’t want to remain in this state.

2. What I don’t often hear is that Terri Shiavo became brain damaged in 1990.

3. Her husband was willing to keep her alive, but started court moves to have Terri’s feeding tube removed a few years after receiving a large court settlement that was placed in a trust fund to pay for Terri’s care. Michael Schiavo stood to inherit a large sum of money if his wife died.

4. Michael also moved in with another woman. He cannot marry her while married to Terri, but he doesn’t want to divorce Terri because he would cease to be her legal guardian and beneficiary of her settlement.

5. The court battle was long, but ultimately her Michael Schiavo won and Terri died after two weeks without nutrients.

6. Bill Allen was asked by Wesley Smith in an on-line debate “Bill, do you think that Terri is a person?” His answer: “No, I do not. I think having awareness is an essential criterion for personhood. Even minimal awareness would support some criterion of personhood, but I don’t think complete absence of awareness does.”

B. Dr. Jack Kevorkian made the news by offering people assistance in committing suicide.

1. He argued that he was aiding those in incurable pain with terminal diseases.

2. He eventually went to jail when autopsies found that more than one of his victims were not suffering from the disease reported.

C. The Netherlands became the first country to formally authorized “mercy killings” for terminally ill people.

1. The current law is only applied to those who are terminally ill and who, in sound mind, request to die.

2. They are looking at expanding the law to cover those who cannot make such a request.

3. Already some are killing newborns with severe, incurable diseases.

D. A book titled “Practical Ethics” by Peter Singer of Princeton University

1. “Killing a defective infant is not morally equivalent to killing a person. Sometimes it is not wrong at all.”

2. “Newborn human babies have no sense of their own existence over time.”

3. So he concludes that newborns are disposable.

II. We have come to a point where convenience has become more valuable than human life.

A. It began when people argued that a woman’s convenience was more important that the life of the child developing within her.

1. It was justified by stating that child who wasn’t yet viable (able to live on his own) was not human life.

2. The child is addressed as a fetus to make its death more palatable.

B. It even enters medical terms.

1. Did you know that contraceptives (methods used to prevent the joining of egg and sperm) has been redefined in the medical community years ago to mean the prevention of the implantation of a fertilized egg?

2. Not long ago I heard someone accuse another for being a “dummy” for calling the prevention of a fertilized egg from implanting abortion, didn’t he know that it was contraception until the egg is implanted.

a. I wanted so say, “didn’t you know that the definition of contraception was changed just a few decades ago?”

3. Yet the Bible views life as beginning from conception - Isaiah 49:1, 5

a. Speaking of the Messiah (My Servant).

b. Called by name before formed in the womb

III. What is the value of human life?

A. Man is not an animal. He was made in the image of God. - Genesis 1:26-27

B. God is the giver of human life - Acts 17:24-28

C. Because of our sins, mankind is damaged goods in the sight of God - Psalm 8:3-4

D. Yet, He loved us! - John 3:16

E. Even while in sin - Romans 5:8

F. What was God willing to pay for human life? - I Peter 1:18-19

IV. Those with physical handicaps are not less valuable to God, nor are they less human.

A. God ordered special protection for the handicapped.

B. The handicapped are not to be mistreated - Leviticus 19:14; Deuteronomy 27:18

C. Job spoke of the care given to the unfortunate - Job 29:12; 31:15-22

D. Jesus ministered to the afflicted - Matthew 11:5

E. James 1:27 - Evidence of pure religion

V. The blood of innocents has been shed in the land, sacrificed to the god of personal convenience.

A. God will not acquit the guilty - Exodus 23:7

B. Speak out against the guilt of our fellow man and our country.

C. Only by speaking the truth will evil be turned away.

Is avoiding getting your wife pregnant a sin?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 03:27:00 +0000

Question:

If I am married, and I am having sex with my wife, is pulling out a sin? Judah's son pulled out when performing his brotherly duties and was struck dead by God. I know that it was because he robbed Tamar of her right to a child, but Deuteronomy and Leviticus speak of the spilling semen as being unclean. Do you think that the Lord views it as wrong to waste a possible conception because we are not letting Him take control of when He wants us to get pregnant, or is it personal conviction?

Answer:

People commonly focus on physical actions instead of noticing the spiritual problems behind the actions. For instance, when Jesus' condemned the Jews: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28). The Jews were congratulating themselves for following God's law because they weren't committing the act of adultery, but they were allowing the attitudes that lead up to adultery. Jesus said the attitude was just as bad as the act.

Onan

"Then Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD killed him. And Judah said to Onan, "Go in to your brother's wife and marry her, and raise up an heir to your brother." But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother's wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also" (Genesis 38:6-10).

Onan was practicing a form of contraception that we commonly call the "withdrawal method." To understand why God killed Onan, we need to consider extra information. Under ancient common law, if a man died before producing any heirs, his wife was given to the next nearest relative as a wife. The first child produced by this couple would then be considered the child of the dead man with full inheritance rights. Another law that comes into play here is that when a man dies, his estate is divided among his living children. You count the number of children that a man had, add one, and then divide the estate that many ways. The eldest child would receive two portions and the rest would receive one portion each. Judah had three children; hence, before Er died, his estate would be divided into four parts. Let's assume Judah had $600,000. If Judah had died first, Er would have inherited $300,000 and Onan and Shelah would have inherited $150,000 each. When Er died, there were only two sons and Onan was the eldest. Thus, Onan's potential inheritance would be $400,000 and Shelah would get $200,000. However, if Onan got Tamar pregnant, then the child would be Er's heir. With one pregnancy Onan stood to lose $250,000. "But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother's wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother" (Genesis 38:9). Onan's sin was not that his semen was spilled on the ground, but the reason why he withdrew before ejaculating. Onan's sin was greed and not an imagined "right" of Tamar to a child.

Spilling Semen

"If any man has an emission of semen, then he shall wash all his body in water, and be unclean until evening. And any garment and any leather on which there is semen, it shall be washed with water, and be unclean until evening. Also, when a woman lies with a man, and there is an emission of semen, they shall bathe in water, and be unclean until evening" (Leviticus 15:16-18).

"Whatever man of the descendants of Aaron, who is a leper or has a discharge, shall not eat the holy offerings until he is clean. And whoever touches anything made unclean by a corpse, or a man who has had an emission of semen, or whoever touches any creeping thing by which he would be made unclean, or any person by whom he would become unclean, whatever his uncleanness may be - the person who has touched any such thing shall be unclean until evening, and shall not eat the holy offerings unless he washes his body with water" (Leviticus 22:4-6).

"If there is among you any man who is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he must go outside the camp; he may not reenter the camp. But it shall be when evening approaches, he shall bathe himself with water, and at sundown he may reenter the camp" (Deuteronomy 23:10-11).

Just as a woman was considered unclean under the Old Law during her monthly menstruation (Leviticus 15:19-25), a man was considered unclean for one day after he ejaculated. The uncleanness did not mean the woman or man had done something wrong or sinful. Breaking God's laws were sinful, but most unclean events were not sinful in and of themselves. For example, a pig is not sinful, but it was unclean and it was sinful to eat pork under the Old Law. Yet, today this rule does not exist for Christians (Acts 11:6-9; I Timothy 4:4-5). The uncleanness was by rule and not because of some innate property in the unclean thing. Many of the things called unclean under the Mosaical Law are recognized as reasonable health practices today. A woman's blood flow can be a potential breeding ground for diseases, as can a man's semen.

The rules covered semen being released during sexual intercourse (Leviticus 15:18). But semen can be released for other reasons and Leviticus 15:16-17 cover the cases that don't deal with intercourse. Deuteronomy 23:10 specifically mentions nocturnal emission (or "night wetting"). The male reproductive system constantly produces both sperm and semen. Nocturnal emission is one method God has built into men to handle the problem of excess semen. To put it bluntly, when there is excess semen, the body instinctively pleasures itself to orgasm to release the excess. Masturbation also produces an emission of semen, so it also would be covered by these laws.

Preventing God from Controlling when a Child is Conceived

"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:1).

"The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).

"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33).

A frequent point made in the Scriptures is that man cannot hinder God's will. God allows us free choice, but in the things that God wants to accomplish, these will come about. As God declared, "Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it, surely I will do it" (Isaiah 46:11). The very idea that a mere mortal can stand in God's way is laughable.

God directs our lives (Proverbs 16:9), but we are left to choose our mates, or even if we don't marry at all (I Corinthians 7:1,5, 8-9, 26-28). The decision to marry ultimately determines if a child is born since one must be married before engaging in sexual intercourse. Besides God approves of a man planning for his future (Acts 19:21; 20:3, 16; Romans 1:13; II Corinthians 9:7). When we plan, we should take care that our plans are in harmony with God's will. We should always be aware that some things are simply out of our control (James 4:13-15). Yet, this does not mean we do not plan for the things God has left in our control.

Are condoms wrong to use because they didn’t exist in Jesus’ era?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 29 May 2014 02:51:00 +0000

Question:

Is it lust when I get married and I use a condom or some other birth control for a while with my wife? I'm confused because my brother says yes and my friend says no. Also, condoms did not exist in the era Jesus was born in. I also heard that lust is a deadly sin and I don't want to ruin my marriage.

Answer:

Email didn't exist in Jesus' time either, but you are willing to use it to communicate. Right and wrong are not determined by what existed at a particular era in time. See Contraceptives.

A desire to have sex with your wife is not lust because sex is supposed to take place in marriage (Hebrews 13:4; I Corinthians 7:2-5). It is not sinful to want to have sex with your wife; therefore, it is not lust.

Do you need to be baptized in order to go to heaven?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 02:11:00 +0000

Question:

Hello,

I have a couple of questions, but I hope I am not bothering you in any way.

Do you need to be baptized in order to go to heaven? If so, what other things must you do? Do you need to be baptized to be a Christian? Can you be a Christian if you believe in the Lord and the Bible? If one's parents are not Christian, can one be a Christian? If a person prays to the Lord every day but does not go to church as a child because of differences in religion between parents and child can the child go to church when he or she is older and be forgiven?

What does Acts 16:31 ("And they said, "And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” ") mean?

And two more about what we are allowed or not allowed to do:

Is the use of contraceptives (condoms, birth control pills, etc.) considered sin or prohibited?

Are there days in which a Christian has to fast? If so, which specific days? What kind of fasting is required?

Thank you very much!

Answer:

Being Saved from Sin and Entering Heaven

God made a promise to mankind. "And this is the promise that He has promised us -- eternal life" (I John 2:25). The promise is available to everyone, but everyone will not receive it because everyone will not meet the conditions God placed upon men. You can't receive the promise in any fashion that you desire. The promise is from God and we have to meet the requirements that God has placed on us. "For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise" (Hebrews 10:36).

One condition is that we must meet is entering into a covenant with Christ, or "putting on Christ." "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3:26-29). Peter also mentioned the promise: "Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call" (Acts 2:38-39). The gift from the Spirit is the promise of eternal life. "In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory" (Ephesians 1:13-14).

Belief is a critical element to entering into the covenant, but it isn't the only element. See What Must I Do to be Saved? You can buy the ingredients for a feast, cook it to perfection, but if you don't sit down and eat it, the food does you no good. In the same way faith, repentance, and confession do a person no good if they will not obey the command of God to be baptized and enter into His covenant. "Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin" (Romans 6:3-7).

Being a Christian is a personal decision. Whether your parents choose to be a Christian or not has nothing to do with your own decision. Sometimes choosing to be a Christian puts a person at odds with his parents. "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). Jesus is not talking about a literal hatred, but the relative value you put on your family versus God.

Acts 16:31 was the immediate answer to the question the jailer asked of Paul and Silas. It was what the jailer and his family needed to do next to be saved. "And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized" (Acts 16:30-33). Notice that the jailer and his family did believe because we next see them entering the covenant with Christ by being baptized.

Attending worship services is necessary for a Christian because it is a part of the Lord's commands. See: Can I be a Christian and not go to church? and Does a person have to attend church?

Contraceptives

Since you talk about your parents, I don't know if you are talking about the use of contraceptives now, or if you are thinking about the future when you get married. Sex prior to marriage is a sin. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). It doesn't matter whether steps were taken to prevent the conception of a child or not; it is the act of sex that is wrong. See: Why Sex Outside of Marriage Is Wrong. If you are talking about after marriage, see Contraceptives.

Fasting

See: Should Christians fast?

Question:

Hello,

Oh, I see. So in order to go to heaven, you need to be baptized, as well as truly believe in the Lord to receive the gift of eternal life in Heaven, right? Is there an age limit to be baptized? I understand that you need to be baptized to receive the gift of eternal life, but do you need to be baptized in order to become a Christian?

What did you mean when you said, "Sometimes choosing to be a Christian puts a person at odds with his parents. "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). Jesus is not talking about a literal hatred, but the relative value you put on your family versus God."? Did you mean that if I am not following the religion of my parents, then I hate them? Is it possible for someone to become a Christian when their parents aren't and still love their parents (but love God greatest), despite religious views?

I understand that going to church is a commandment, but if someone does not go to church as a child because of difference in religion between parents and child, can the child go to church when he or she is older and be forgiven if he or she repents and asks for forgiveness?

In the link that you sent me (Can I be a Christian and not go to church?), in the Question box, the person who asked you the question wrote, "...and all you listen to is Christian music...". Are Christians only allowed to listen to Christian music? Or is he trying to say something else?

So only some contraceptives, such as condoms, are allowed, and some are not, right?

Answer:

Baptism

You need to understand what God requires of you, listening to what God said in His word. "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17). That produces faith in you. Because you believe what God said, you change your mind about sin and your behavior in regards to sin. That is called repentance (Luke 13:3). Faith isn't real if you won't admit that you believe, so God requires confession of your faith. "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation" (Romans 10:9-10). Baptism is the final act that represents the washing away of the old life of sin and entering a new life dedicated to Christ.

You have to be baptized to become a Christian and with that comes the promise of eternal life, though that is conditioned on you remaining a faithful Christian. "For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end" (Hebrews 3:14).

There is no set age limit, but implied is that you are old enough to have faith, understand that you have sinned, and can choose for yourself to be baptized.

Family

In Luke 14:26, Jesus is talking about the practicalities of making a decision to follow him. That choice may put you at odds with your family. For example, Jesus was talking to Jews at the time. A decision to become Christians would mean leaving Judaism, which would not sit well with a family who thinks everyone should remain a Jew. Jesus' point is that you have to choose and that choice will mean that you love your family less than you love your Lord. On a relative scale, it can be seen as "hating" your family. Sometimes it actually comes down to that. I've seen people choose to be Christians and their families tried to talk them out of it by saying, "Don't you love us?" or "If you do this you'll be spitting on your grandfather's grave," and other such nonsense. Such pressure can be hard to face, so Jesus warns people in advance.

It doesn't mean the Christian hates his parents, but compared to the Lord, parents take a distant back seat in priorities.

Attendance as a Child

A child doesn't have full control over his life. He would have to do the best he can within the limitations he faces. I've known young people who left home just so they could be a Christian, but such dedication is rare and there is the possibility that a parent might take legal action against the child. I can only state what God said to do unless God specifically stated there is an exception, I can't grant one on behalf of God; it just isn't my place (I Peter 4:11). How God views the difficulties you might have in making your own choice will have to be between you and God.

Music

The person thought that he could bargain with God, saying that he would X number of things and that God should be satisfied with those things, even if they aren't what God asked for from him. The music we offer up to God in worship is restricted to psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19). What you choose to listen to is up to you so long as the words are moral. See: Is it okay to listen to secular music?

Contraceptives

For married couples, methods that prevent the conception of a child are fine. Methods that allow conception but prevent the child from developing are wrong because it is allowing human life to be formed and then killed. Murder is wrong whether it happens before or after birth.

Is having a vasectomy a sin?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 03:13:00 +0000

Question:

Is having a vasectomy a sin? My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I am just finding out now that we may have committed a rather large sin or is that just a Catholic view? Is this a sin we both committed?

Answer:

Having a vasectomy is not a sin. The Roman Catholic view is that is wrong to interfere with the possible conception of a child. From their point of view, it is interfering with God's plans. "Contraception is wrong because it’s a deliberate violation of the design God built into the human race, often referred to as "natural law." The natural law purpose of sex is procreation" [http://www.catholic.com/tracts/birth-control]. The argument fails because it implies that men are not allowed to go against nature, yet we build and maintain houses. Houses aren't "natural." Nature causes houses to fall apart. See Contraceptives for a detailed answer, but it should be noted that those holding this position are not consistent. They will allow for some form of controlling when children are born, typically by controlling when sex takes place.