I’m so lonely that I look at pornography at times
Question:
Hi!
You have a great site. I’ve used it many times over the years, and I've listened to the sermons.
Two questions:
I have a problem. I don’t feel lust, but I end up looking at women on sites -- usually those with clothes on. I think it comes from loneliness and wanting to feel something. I’m on medications that reduce emotions, but I have looked at sites like these before I was on the medications. I have lived many years as a loner and a hermit. It is really bad and sinful compensation. I’ve noticed that after I look, I get some spam by some woman with sensual profile picture on Facebook or Instagram. I block them, but later I look at these sites. I think it affects me subconsciously. I think depression and loneliness and not feeling worthy of anything good might trigger it. Any advice?
Also is it possible to donate? I think it’s a great site with many good sermons. Maybe a small amount. My local church is struggling hard, so I should probably donate more to them.
Answer:
Sin has a way of offering apparent solutions that result in no problem being solved. Thus, a person repeatedly sins thinking that this time something will change, but it doesn't improve or it becomes worse.
You look at pornography because you want to feel something, but it is the medication that dampens your feelings. As a result, only very intense emotions register slightly and nothing really changes. A more logical approach would be to talk with your doctor about the problem and ask if there is another medication available that doesn't dampen your emotions as much.
You also look at women because you are lonely, but all you are viewing are images. They don't interact with you. While it distracts you for a while, you remain just as lonely as when you started. The solution here is to get out where you meet real people and interact with them. It may be difficult at first, but it at least leads toward a solution to the problem. The Lord declared, "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18) and then made Adam a wife. You too need to find a real woman who is interested in being your wife. You can't accomplish that goal looking at pictures in your room.
The church in La Vista is pleased to offer the gospel message without charge. The church is not seeking donations or funding. "What is my reward then? That when I preach the gospel, I may present the gospel of Christ without charge, that I may not abuse my authority in the gospel" (I Corinthians 9:18).
If someone really wants to help with the costs, the church won't reject it, but we want to make it clear that our goal, if the Lord so wills, is to keep spreading the Word of God through the site and through personal teaching in this area whether there are outside funds or not. Nor do we accept advertising. We do not wish to taint the message with any appearance of teaching for monetary gain (I Timothy 6:3-5).
Response:
Thank you so much, Jeffery, for answering. I was a bit sad thinking I would get no response. I feel guilty and convicted. It feels like I have cheated on Jesus and a potential future wife -- like I would not be worthy of a good woman. I don’t love myself much either.
Thank you. It’s a good site.
