All By Myself
You've made progress, my friend. You are willing now to admit that you are using drugs. You've given up hiding it. That is a step in the right direction, but only a small one because you are still hiding from those who love you truly and sincerely. If you are waiting until you conquer addiction, you'll fail because you are depending on yourself. If you need proof, look at your "success" in controlling your addiction so far.
You're failing because you are going at it alone. "Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
When rope is made each thread wound into a cord is fragile by itself, but supported by other equally fragile cords it becomes strong. Wind three of those cords together and it becomes very hard to break.
Everyone of us is fragile in the face of temptation. The strength in being a Christian isn't found in yourself but in the love and interaction with your brethren. "But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head -- Christ -- from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love" (Ephesians 4:15-16). If you succeed it won't be because you conquered sin all by yourself.