I have been living with my children's father for ten years. I am a stay-at-home mom in my late twenties. I was baptized at my church camp. He's upset with me all the time -- before and after I was baptized.
Well, I sinned. I had sex with him two week ago. The reason I did is because I don't work and he's the head for the family. When I don't give him what he wants, he doesn't give me money. I prayed and repented. I ask God to forgive me. I know I was wrong. Our wedding was supposed to be this month, but things didn't work out the way I plan.
He's always upset with me, so since I prayed. I stopped having sex with him and he really upset about that. Every day is a problem. Nothing I do is good enough for him. I do pray for him and most of the time he brings up the past. I don't know what more to do -- if I should stay or move on. It is hard. One time it is marrage talk and the next time it is "I don't love you, I don't want you and other bad things. He would say things like I should die and then "When is sex?" Or then I hear "I love you" but he doesn't mean it.
I'm sorry, is this love? Because this is not want I want if it is.
Please, I need answers. Please help me because he's not a Christan. He's unsaved.
You said you repented, but you haven't really made any changes. You are still living with a man you are not married to. There is talk about getting married, but neither one of you seem all that interested in marrying each other.
What you describe is not even close to love. You are both using the other person. You use him for the money he provides. He uses you for sexual favors.
You are going to have to make changes -- drastic changes. Either you choose to love this man and marry him or you move out and start being a responsible adult Christian. Either path is likely to be difficult. What you can't continue to do is live a life of sin and expect to reach heaven.