Question:

Hello,

What does the Bible say about a nagging wife? She brings up legitimate concerns from time to time. We currently are having financial problems because we are having to pay for an upcoming childbirth, and we have had a lot of unexpected expenses come up this year. But she goes overboard with it to the point of nit picking. It seems like I can't even get a Coke from the gas station without her complaining. Furthermore, she tries to guilt trip me by sending me articles insinuating that I am a bad husband because I won't go along with her penny pinching. Sometimes I have to eat out because there were no leftovers for me to take to work, and she gripes at me for this too. I agree we need to spend less, but I am not at all in favor of cutting out all spending such as this. I have tried to explain to her that her nagging is counterproductive, and it just makes me extremely angry and much less likely to want to talk to her about this, but she doesn't listen.

Please help. I'm near the end of my rope!

Thank you for your consideration.


Answer:

If you are looking for a magic answer to stop complaints, there isn't one. "A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; he who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand" (Proverbs 27:15-16). The problem isn't so much the complaints, but rather that they don't seem to stop. Men want to solve problems, but situations like this seems to have no end.

A secondary part of the problem is that your wife is pregnant. Hormones do odd things to a woman's emotions. What it really boils down to is that she is looking for security so she can focus on the child without other concerns.

If you haven't already, work out a budget for your monthly expenses. Include in that budget a personal "fun" money for each of you. This will be for any expenses the individual wants to spend that is not covered by the budget -- say $100. Each month you withdraw that cash and use that for snacks or meals and when that money runs out, you have to wait until the next month's cash.

The budget, if kept, shows you are making progress on saving money. The cash only spending on little things shows a willingness to take on personal restraint. There will still be discussions about where to set the budget limits each month, but during the month the problem has been resolved and a gentle reminder that this particular spending is covered in the budget will give her some security. It won't solve all the arguments, but facts keep things from getting out of hand.

Thanks for your reply! We are working on it!