I was baptized in a nondenominational Christian church at the age of ten. I fully believed and accepted the message of Jesus Christ and the cross. I backslid at fifteen, had a series of sexual perversions happen to me, and started to use drugs. I have been struggling with drugs ever since. My drug of choice were pills: Vicodin, Xanax, etc. I graduated to heroin a year ago.
I recently stopped taking heroin and having sex (I am now 29 years old) as I have been in fear of going to hell. I repented of all my sins. However, I take one Xanax and one pain pill daily monitored by my mother to keep my anxiety in check. When I stopped heroin it was very hard on my system, which is why I take the one pain pill. I have been diagnosed by a reputable hospital which has been seeing me on and off since I was sixteen with borderline personality disorder. I use Xanax to help ease anxiety. My mom gives me the pills. She is a born again Christian who uses a Xanax a night to help her sleep and pain killers once and a while when needed.
The problem is these are not prescribed to either of us; however, I feel that for me they are necessary right now. I have been reading my Bible, praying, attending church, and winning souls; however, I am still wondering if I will go to hell for taking the pills that I do even though they are so minimal. Please help me in answering this question. I truly love the Lord and do not want to miss out on heaven. I really have cut out all other sins I can think I'm doing wrong. I try not to sin and I openly profess to love God.
Please help me in answering the question of whether I will go to hell for this.
Regardless of whether you need these pills or not, the problem is that since they are not prescribed by a doctor, you and your mother are obtaining the pills through illegal means. Christians are required to obey the government, unless the government's laws violate the laws of God. "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" (Romans 13:1-2). The fact that the government controls access to dangerous medications does not violate God's laws.
If you truly have need for medication, you need to talk to your doctor about your problems. Likely there are other medications that are less dangerous that can be used instead, but that is for the doctor to decide.
I'm glad you have made so many improvements in your life. Here is another that you can work on that will draw you closer to God.