Question:

Hi,

I am married, and I wanted to know if I need to tell my husband all my past sexual sins before we met.

I was baptized this year and I'm realizing a lot of thing I used to do were very sinful. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I didn't grow up in a Christian home. My home life was also very awful. I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually by my dad's friend. It has been very difficult to forgive.

Thank you for any guidance you may have on these topics.


Answer:

The things your husband needs to know about your past are those things that affect his life currently or what could affect him in the future.

I agree that abuse of a child is very hard to forgive. Jesus had very harsh words regarding child abusers. "Then He said to the disciples, "It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones"" (Luke 17:1-2). However, Jesus does go on to talk about forgiveness. "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him" (Luke 17:3). My guess is that this bum has never repented of what he did nor asked for your forgiveness. To forgive someone who remains in his sins is just to encourage him to continue sinning. If he ever does repent, you will find it easier to forgive him of the past. What you have to cultivate a willingness to forgive if the opportunity arises.

When you see all that you need to do, it can be overwhelming. Instead, work on one or two items that you need to change today. Bit by bit, you will eventually affect a great change in your life. You don't clean an entire house or even an entire room. You clean and straighten one item at a time and over time the whole is taken care of.

Thank you so much for your help. The things that you say are very inspiring.