Question:

Hello,

First off thank you for all the knowledge from this wonderful site.

Okay, my question is it biblically wrong for a husband to say he wants his wife to dress up and wear makeup every day so he can feel sexually attracted to her, even if they are not going out of the house that day and there is not any company is coming over? And if she does not because she has children and a home to take of should she just obey her husband, even if it makes life more difficult for the wife to keep the relationship steamy and the husband happy? What do you think God might think about this?

Thanks, may God bless you.


Answer:

It sounds like a husband who is only concerned about his wants and desires. If you want to be happy, then put effort into making your wife happy. "When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken" (Deuteronomy 24:5). The first year was just to set good habits that ought to last through the rest of the marriage.

Notice also how shallow you approach appreciating your wife. To you sexy is only about the surface things: clothing and make-up. Where is your companion and best friend? "Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant" (Malachi 2:14).

Start having fun with your wife instead of demanding that she meet your standards before you claim to be happy. "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). Date your wife. Be romantic to her. Lead the way and she will happily follow.

Thank you. I need to reassess myself and take the plank out my own eye. It's not like I go out of my way to impress her when I get home. I always give the excuse of being tired and not wanting to spend quality time with her because of it. Thank you for reminding me of how it's supposed to be. She does so much for me and I take it all for granted. She loves God more than anyone I know, and I need to be proud of that and spend more time having fun with her and helping her grow in Christ. Thank you and God bless!