Question:

Once again I come with a question that I hope you can assist me with. I'm on the verge of marriage, we have been going to counseling, and I wanted to know what advice you can give about the financial status of a married couple. I discussed with my fiancée of being open, and agreed with sharing what we make each month; however, I had some reservations about how much I currently have in my savings. I understand the reasons for sharing, but feel that sharing my savings (which is substantial) is personal and ensured her that all will be taken care of. She insists that I share that information with her, just to share. Is there any way to address this matter in a Christian manner?


Answer:

Whether you choose disclose your finances completely before marriage is up to you. I do encourage it, especially if it will make an impact on the other person. It isn't honest to enter a marriage, only to find out afterward that your spouse has huge debts for which you are now responsible.

Once you are married, there is no longer "mine." "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). You and she together will be one person; therefore, I urge couples to have only joint accounts and make financial decisions as a family.

But because you wanted openness prior to the wedding, being reluctant to share this one matter states that you don't fully trust her. If it was a matter that you don't want her marrying you for your money, I can understand. You could even tell her that and let her know that after the wedding she'll know all the details. But leaving the issue unanswered or telling her that it is personal would be a warning sign that you aren't ready to fully share your life with someone else.